


Unwanted pet * Complete*

by SnapeLove



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Complete, Friendship, Funny, M/M, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-20 15:31:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 55,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11923860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnapeLove/pseuds/SnapeLove
Summary: Snape didn't want for Lupin to come and teach, Albus did. Snape didn't want to help Lupin, Albus did. Now Snape is stuck with Lupin, more than he ever wanted to. Placed in the setting of the third book.





	1. Old enemies

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This story waited for a long time to be published/posted, call it however you like it.   
> Well, so many of my friends asked me to post it. So here it is - my first long story ever written. My first shash, too.   
> (04.05.2018.) I know, that I could have done a better job (now), but I still have no heart to do it - to change it as much as I could. There is a sentimental value in all those mistakes (so I'm just working out the kinks like grammar - as much as I can and typos).
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well I sort off - "fixed" the mistakes - as much as I can in this chapter.  
> Still, if someone wants to beta this story I won't say no :)

###  **Old enemies**

Snape darted out of professors lounge and he followed closely. Booming behind their backs, Dumbledore’s angry voice echoed through corridors crowded with students.

“I do not care how! I do not care where! Settle this, once and for all! You will work on that collaboration project and that is my final word! Do not dare follow them, Minerva!”

“But Albus! They going to kill each other!” They could hear Minerva’s worried voice, a bit too high pitched for the liking. The student must have had a field day.

“They won’t! And even if they do – then so be it! I won’t tolerate such childish behaviour! Not from my staff!”

It was truly unusual to see Albus in this state of anger, usually calm and mild man, never to his knowledge lost his temper before. In retrospect, his and Severus’ constant snapping at each other could enrange even a stone, given enough time. Their never-ending bickering culminated as an open argument and rebellion when Albus pared them as a team - setting them to work on a rather stupid project, in his humble opinion.

Trailing behind Snape’s flattering robes, he could feel curious looks of students and hear soft whispers and giggles. This was a truly humiliating experience. And if he had such dreadful time - for Snape was even worse. Snape sharply turned, entering the first empty classroom and he followed at heel.  

“Severus, I’m not thrilled with the idea myself. But, maybe, this is chance for us…” He stopped talking mid-sentence.

Normally pale face of Severus Snape was almost drained of colour. _How can one visibly lose more colour in this state?_ Severus’ gaze was fixed behind his back. Pointy jaw almost squared, and one cheek muscle visibly danced.

Intrigued he turned to see what caused such reaction. The classroom door was ajar and students swarmed up in front of them. Grinning faces and curious eyes directed at them. The most braves, _or the craziest_ ones, even giggled.  

With a low hiss, Snape waved his wand and students scampered, escaping fast and a rather violent **bang** of the door. Severus silently started to cast wards and he joined him, turning to windows. They worked in silence for few long moments.

Silence fell between them, as they measured each other, wands at ready. Snape’s eyes were burning with the glare of disdain, humiliation and anger. This was a rare and truly unusual sight.

“Can we talk now? I am willing to resolve this problem peacefully.”

“Why Dumbledore did not listen to me? I warned him about you! The miasma of humiliation follows you around.” Hissed Snape “I do not want to talk to you, I do not want to look at you! You have no place in this school.”

“Dumbledore does not think so.” He replied, insulted if only a little bit. In all honesty, he wasn’t expecting any other reaction from Severus, but it still hurt.

“Dumbledore does not think when his precious Marauders are concerned. He favoured you then and he does now.” Severus sneered at him, anger distorting his features.

“Oh, can you put that at rest Snape? I cannot apologize any more than I already did for that, it was 14 years ago.”

“I do not need, nor wish your worthless apologies.” Spit Snape venomously. “Do not tempt me Lupin. I just might slip some of the Unforgivable curses at you. No one would question it; I am, after all, who I am.”

“You really think that I am that incapable of defending myself. Don’t you think that I might do you some harm, as well?” His voice now low and dangerous growl.

“Do you really believe that you could do something, humiliate me more than you and your band didn’t before?” he smirked “No, I do not think that you could defend yourself against me. Not if I really want to end you.” hissed Snape ominously, letting the implication of what he was thinking hang in the air between them “Do you really believe that you could do something... Humiliate me more than you and your lot didn’t before?”

His blood boiled, he was tired of this man’s insults, tired of apologies that landed on deaf ears.

Before Snape could react, he silently cast a spell, several of them actually. Snape’s wand clanged at the floor and rolled, as he dropped it. Snape was, entangled in binding spell, and muffed. Lupin’s eyes narrowed in a thin line.

“I am not harmless or helpless, Severus.” He whispered in dangerous low voice.

However, even if he held his demeanour, Lupin was wondering, what to do next?

He did not have the desire to harm Snape, or publicly humiliate him, for that matter, but he had to do something.

Looking at struggling Snape, who was probably trying to free himself or curse him, his throat became dry. Closing, just inches from Snape’s face, he smiled.

“Oh, I believe that I can do to you something. Something, I bet no person ever done to you before. Well, at least not since you’ve grown up to be what you are now.” Snape’s eyes opened wide, as he charmed one piece of clothes at the time, from him. Deep, crimson blush, coloured Snape’s face as he removed the last piece of clothing, leaving him in his underwear. “If you did not like this in your school days… I wonder, how much would you hate it now? In front of **your** students?”

 _Now let’s see, how can I get out from this mess? I can threaten him, but_ … Thinking fast he continued to talk.

“However, I’m not about to that to you…for now. But, try to mess with me and know what’s waiting for you around the corner. I do not need my friends around me, I am more than capable to deal with you on my own. Now, I’m not happy with the prospect of working with you, no more than you are to work with me, but Albus put us together, and I won’t cross him. Did we understood each other?”    

It took, what looked like an eternity to him before Snape slowly nodded his head, eyes burning with hatred.

_How much more can he truly hate me?_

Lupin relaxed and charmed Snape’s clothes back on. Snape has clenched his eyes tightly shut. Levitating Snape on one of the chairs, Remus placed fallen wand on Severus’s lap and slowly walked to the door.

It took time to remove the wards they placed on the door. When he finished with the wards, Remus released the binds that held Snape and rushed out of the classroom.

 _Brave Remus. . ._  thought as he paced down the corridor.

Only two dozen steps later, he stopped near the window, gasping for air.

With the corner of his eye, he saw Minerva entering the classroom and he gasped again. She did not stay long in there, and now, she was marching towards him. He closed his eyes.

“I am glad that Severus’ not harmed at all; he is not willing to talk though. Let's see if you are.” She took his hand and pulled him to one of the benches in the corridor. “Good, you appear to be unharmed as well. Equally chatty too. Go on; go to your room now.” Minerva sent him off like he was one of the students.

 **An eye for an eye**                     

Pacing nervously around his room Remus was trying to predict repercussions of his actions, oblivious to veining daylight. Albus wanted them to settle their differences, and his actions did not aid that task, if nothing else, he drove a wedge between them even more.

 _What got into you, you fool?_ He chastised himself.

Even if he tried to defend himself, the memories came to him in a swirl. His mind wandered to school days, to pale skinned, slender boy, with ebony black hair and huge, mellow black eyes. Even then, he didn’t have anything against the Snape. He could not call him a friend, but bullying him was not a cup of tea Remus liked or approved, privately.

He could not fathom what the punishment will be.

Going through scenarios in his head, imagined: Dumbledore handing him to Aurors. Dumbledore banishing him from school and spreading the word trough magical community. Dumbledore…

Loud knocking rang trough room. It was late now, all students were sleeping even staff was in deep slumber. If this were Dumbledore with Aurors, no knocking would be needed. With a sharp intake of breath, opened the door.  

“Severus?” He choked, looking at his visitor.

Snape pushed next to him, not waiting for an invitation. Closing the door, and tossing one swift look at the Snape standing in the middle of the study room. Remus felt like a teenager on a first date, not sure where to look or what to do.  

“The moment has finally come.” He mumbled. _You fool, you shouldn’t expect Dumbledore or Aurors but Snape all along, he is too proud to report an attack_. “How may I…” 

“You could offer me a drink. Which would be polite, if not a good start, considering…” Coldly replied Snape.

“Yes, yes of course.” His brain misfired in attempt to think. while he was leaning across the table to fetch a bottle of Bourbon and glass.

Suddenly, the blow of magic hit him on the back, pinning him to the flat table surface. His stomach sunk. Snape was a formidable foe, even as a student, now, one war later he was a very powerful wizard. A powerful wizard that was seeking revenge.   

He closed his eyes, his clothes were charmed of from him.  

In expectancy of cruciatus curse or something, even viler, tried to reason with the man, but voice betrayed him. Room was quiet, and for a long time, nothing happened, as far as he could tell Snape was not moving. Snape was barely breathing.

Fighting attack of panic, he tried to steady his breath, time passed by. Odd sensation grabbed him, and he was sure that this was not Snape’s doing.

“You know Lupin two can play that game. What is stopping me from doing the same to you?” Snape’s voice was low, dangerous and almost silken “What is stopping me to do - this - to you?”

Pain seared through his left arm. If this was a cruciatus. . .  it was masterfully localized. The pain subsided in the arm and moved to his leg. Clenching his teeth not to scream, Remus breathed heavily and tried to focus his mind.

Pain moved again to the middle of his spine, causing him almost to lose consciousness.

“Do not threaten me, Lupin. Ever. Again. Or this…this is just a mild taste of what I can do to you. Not to mention - the potion you are in dire need of. Imagine what I can do with that - or if I simply do not do it at all . . . ”       

Suddenly, the magic that was holding him pinned to the table released its grip. Weekly his slid off the table. Snape was standing in the middle of the room, cold and calm as ever.

“I believe we are even now.” Severus’ voice was barely a whisper.

His eyes pinned on Snape he cleared his dry throat.

“What now?” He muttered through the clenched throat.

Snape just raised one eyebrow and turned on a heel, walking out of the room, leaving Remus physically drained and in the mass of emotional mess.

**The wolf in the dungeons**

In days to come, Dumbledore did not press the matter of cooperation anymore. Remus appearance started to reflect his inner turmoil. If Snape simply refuses to provide him with the potion, he was in trouble, more so, his coming to Hogwarts in the first place was in vain. For his part, Snape did not show any signs, one way or the other. Even if this part of his “punishment” was not intentional, it was, however, highly effective.

School buzzed with nearing holidays, students planning their vacations. Saturday finally came and the corridors where empty. Only few students stayed in school. Remus thought of this as a blessed time.

Finding a lame excuse he stayed locked in his room, not even joining remaining staff for meals. Sitting at the same table near Severus drove him insane.

Gray, cloudy day fitted his mood perfectly, he was reading the book waiting for a house elf to bring him his potion. It was only two days until the full moon and he needed two more doses of wolfsbane potion. However, unlike previous days the potion did not arrive.

By the time light has dimmed he started to worry. Gathering whatever strength he could muster, slowly, he forced himself through the corridors and down to the dungeons.

The dungeons were cold and damp, poorly lighted, but that did not bother him much. Smells were more intense here and he could smell Snape’s quarters before he reached them.

With a sigh, he knocked on the door. The light was not much brighter inside the room, he noticed when the Potion Master opened the door and gazed at him.

“Lupin?”

“Good evening Severus. I was just wondering…” he shuttered “…if…my potion…you know…” _Very eloquent Remus, way to go._ He stopped in mid sentence realizing that he is not quite coherent.

“Yes?” Snape raised one inquiring eyebrow, obviously amused. It was apparent that Severus didn’t want to help.

Clearing the throat, he tried again, shaping the sentence in his mind first. “Will I receive rest of my potion for this month?”

“As Albus ordered me, yes.” Calmly replied Snape

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Lupin. Even if Albus did not insist on it, do you honestly believe that I can let mindless, savage beast roaming around the school full of kids?” asked Snape in cold voice, eyebrow now arched in obvious detest.

“Whatever reason you have, thank you.” Remus shifted nervously, from one leg to another “I’m sorry for bothering you if I can have my potion I won’t take more of your time.”

“I was planning to come up and bring you potion myself, later on. I wanted to discuss something with you.” frowned Snape “Better, get inside, before you start a rumour.”

“What rumour? Ou . . . Oh . . . The school is deserted.”

“Potter and his loth are still around, some of Slytherin students too.” Hissed Snape pulling him inside and closing the door.

With more than a little curiosity, Lupin looked around Snape’s study room, filled ceiling to floor with potion ingredients and potions, meticulously organized. On the large table several cauldrons where bubbling, in different stages of brewing. Snape picked up one hissing cup from the table and handed to him.

“You wanted to discuss something?” Remus asked politely

“Yes. I made some improvements to the Wolfsbane potion. It’s been confirmed with Albus...” Snape informed him.

Remus took the cup and sniffed it carefully, it did not smell different at all. Still, he was reluctant to drink it.  

“I do have the original one prepared as well if you are unsure of my skill...” smirked Snape reaching for the cup in his hands. Before another man could take the potion, he drank it in few long gulps, twisting his face in a grimace.

“You could work on a taste for your next _improvement_.” Grumbled Remus forcing the disgusting, slimy liquid down his throat once more, as it tried to reappear itself once again.

“Mhm. Sit.” Snape waved toward one armchair in the corner. “I just want to record some of the effects. This is your fourth dose of improved potion and effects should start to manifest themselves. Sit and alarm me if you notice any difference, no matter how insignificant you think it is. I have to finish tending my potions. Do **not** touch anything.”

Snape turned to the table and he walked to the pointed chair feeling slightly dizzy. Quietly observing Snape’s elegant almost graceful movements while he was adding ingredients, steering, adjusting the heat, Remus sank deeper into the armchair rest.

He closed his eyes, returning in thoughts to his school days. Remembering how many situations turned into Snape’s favour now. A headache grabbed him unexpectedly, forcing him to moan.

“Any changes?” Snape directed attention to him

“A headache and dizziness.” Groaned Remus clenching his head

“No, that is not it.” Snape sounded almost disappointed

Remus opened his eyes, suddenly aware that his senses are attacked rather aggressively. A Strong feeling of nausea flushed over him, and he moaned again while buzzing in head got stronger.

“Oh, for the love of Merlin! The smell!” He managed to say, his voice sounding almost whiney. He was sure that he’d had a thought or two about that if he could think straight.

“Smell?” Snape looked fully focused on him now.

“It is overwhelming. I can smell every single ingredient in this room, every potion and their ingredients at the same time, and the smells blend…” He gagged trying to stop his dinner and the potion coming out through his mouth.

“Hmmm, follow me.” Snape tugged him out of the armchair.

Fighting the waves of nausea, suppressing gagging, he stumbled behind the Potion Master through not so long corridor, aware that they passed few strong barrier wards on their way. They entered a spacious room.

Left of them were yet another door, to the bathroom, presumed Remus. Across the room in the far right corner, another door lead who knows where. On the walls opposing each other were two large fireplaces, one stone cold with a pot of floo powder attached to its side, other with roaring fire. Two armchairs and small round table between them placed in front the active fireplace. Walls mostly covered with bookshelves full of books and scrolls. Large, four-post bed was dominating the room. Secretary table placed next to the inactive fireplace. Snape pointed to the armchairs.

“You have to learn how to control your senses now.” Remus moaned and Snape continued “They are going to stay heightened from now on.”

“This goes beyond anything I ever experienced even as …” Remus stopped abruptly, he is not going to talk about his transformation with Snape

“Describe it to me” Severus’s tone reminded him of staff in St.Mungo’s, professional and detached, he shivered.

“Am I your test subject now?” He snapped.

Snape’s eyebrow went up again and Remus could not help but think, One day it will stay like that permanently.

“All right, I told you about the smell.” he sighed “My hearing is gone insane too, I can hear house elves chattering in the kitchen, I can hear every sound in … not sure how far actually.”

“As expected, now focus, I am sure that you can do at least that much. Focus on one thing and block everything else out.” Instructed Snape

The instruction was easy enough but it took quite a few attempts for him before he was successful. Smells and sounds started to subside.

“It is much better now, thank you.” he whispered.

His ears picked up as Snape’s heart fastened its pace slightly, but Snape’s face was still as ever

“Dizziness is still here though.” Mumbled Remus

“You may stay here for a while until it passes. I have to go and finish tending my potions. I advise you not to touch or prowl around, I will have a hard time explaining to Albus that I did not have the pleasure of killing you myself.” coldly replied Snape and disappeared down the corridor.

Feeling at least little bit better, now alone, Lupin paid attention to the room with great curiosity. The room was warm and comfortable almost cosy, painted in black and blood-red. The floor was black, walls, and bed covers were red. Surprisingly, not even a hint of green in the room. The smell of lavender underlined with a hint of chamomile was dominant and shooting. The wall on the left of the bed was not covered with books but had an enviable collection of chains, shackles and other torture devices.

_Filch would have a field day here._

Managing to regain control of the most of his senses, Remus became aware that he could not block one specific scent. Very strong and musky aroma of cedar mixed with a mild hint of lavender and chamomile.

 _Snape,_ he realized - he could not block Snape’s scent. Remus nearly jumped at the sound of his host's voice.

“Feeling better now?”

“I am getting there.” he smiled “Interesting decorations.”

“You are in the dungeon after all...” Replied Snape sounding annoyed, but his heart started to race again.

“Liar” Groggily retorted Remus, room was spinning fast suddenly, and he closed his eyes.

“Any other effects?” Inquired Snape

“Just feeling dizzy and one more...” he mumbled, fighting to stay focused, feeling a bit panicky at the prospect of losing that battle.

“Yes?”

“You. I cannot block you.” He groaned, even the darkness behind his eyelids was spinning.

“Me?” Snape was still coldly detached.

“Your smell. Cedar, lavender and chamomile and your heartbeat, I keep hearing it no matter how I try to block it.” Words dimmed out as he slipped into unconsciousness.

“Interesting” Whispered Snape to oblivious Remus.


	2. I am not a pet owner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.
> 
> A/N: Well I sort off - "fixed" the mistakes - as much as I can in this chapter.  
> Still, if someone wants to beta this story I won't say no :)

**I am not a pet owner**

Lupin felt like a bludger hit him in the head.

The taste in his mouth was foul. Was he drinking last night? It felt like hungover, but could not remember drinking last night.

Feeling the pain in the crumbled position he stretched and yelp as his feet and hands slammed into the wood. Sniffing the air, Remus deduced that he is not in his own room.

His head was pounding. With still closed eyes, he swung legs to the floor and sat.

“Merlin” mumbled still trying to remember, his head felt like it was filled with cotton balls. Lupin sniffed air again - lavender, chamomile and … cedar.

 _Snape!_ His eyes opened in panic. Remus found himself sitting on a tiny sofa in Snape’s quarters.

With windows that faced the murky water of Black Lake,  it was hard to determine the time of the day. The fireplace was still roaring, warming up the room and drying the dump air.

“Uuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhh” throbbing in head enhanced, still disorienting him.

“You passed out in an armchair.” Snape’s calm voice floated from one of the armchairs. Clearing the throat, Remus snapped at his host.

“So you packed me in this wand box.”

“I had to tend to my potions during the night, and I did not want to trip over you. Where do you suggest I place you? My bed?!” Replied Snape, still invisible to him.

“I should be grateful for not dumping me in the hallway, I guess.” He mumbled.

“Indeed, you should. I would appreciate if you leave now. No need to come to my chambers tonight, I will bring potion to you.” Snape dismissed him

 _At least he is as rude as he ever was, some things never change._ “Thank you...” he growled and get up walking unsteadily toward the door.

“Where do you think you are going?” Snape rose from the armchair, with treating tingle in his voice.

“Leaving” Hissed Remus, he was felt sick and not willing to play Snape’s mind games.

“Looking like that? At this time of morning? From **my** premises?” Snape’s face almost had an expression of shock ”Use the floo.”

“In Hogwarts …” he started but Snape cut him off

“Dumbledore connected our rooms and infirmary; I informed him about potion effect. Use the floo.” Snape’s voice was adamant.

Lupin shook his head, which retaliated in sharp pain and more throbbing, standing in the cold fireplace with the handful of floo powder he smirked.

“I am wondering…no…I would expect of you to use at least some of those ‘decorations’ on me.”

Before disappearing he thought to hear Snape mumbling to himself ” _I was considering it, but then again you might enjoy it, really unsettling thought._ ”

Landing, not so elegantly, on the floor of his room confusion grabbed him. Did he hear right? Not even sure that Snape did say what he thought, he might have just imagined the words.

Getting off the floor, Remus headed straight to the bathroom. Hot water relaxed the muscles and soothed the nerves.

Let give a test to those heightened senses of mine.

Enjoying the warmth of hot tub, he let go of his hold. Sounds and smells hit him again. Intensity was somewhat diminished but his head started to spin once again...

… scratching noises in the walls and mouse squeals …

… the smell of earth soaked with moist …

… house elf humming while working …

… remaining kids laughing playing wizard's chess …

… lavender, chamomile, cedar …

… Snape!!!

Lupin opened his eyes gasping for air. Looking at the cold darkness of obsidian eyes. He shivered; the floor was cold and wet. Floor!? With the hint of panic, he fumbled, to find something and cover himself. Snape stood up and tossed him a towel, wearing a grimace of disgust and annoyance.

“Who would guess, Remus Lupin is shy.” smirked sarcastically

“As I recall Severus, the fireplace is in the room, not bathroom. What are you doing here?”

“Saving you.” a hint of lament in the voice ”You fell asleep in the bathtub.”

“That still not answers to my question, not that I am not grateful.”

“Albus is having a time of his life, apparently, using me as an owl. He sent me to convey his satisfaction with reaction to the potion, and…asked me…to check up on you.” Snape didn’t sound pleased.

“I am fine.” He grumbled.

“Yes. I can see that.” Snape’s voice was a sarcastic sneer.

Snape’s hands reached and grabbed him, pulling him up. For its frame, Snape was strong. Cotton balls filled Lupin’s head again; wobbling toward the door, as he tried to uphold at least some mirage of dignity. Feeling highly embarrassed by the situation, tightening the towel around hips, he nearly collapsed again. Two strong arms gripped him again, as he slipped into unconsciousness.

Once more, for the second time, this day consciousness returned slowly to Lupin, filling his head with hazy fog. Still drifting in half sleep, he heard voices.

“It is good for your research Severus.” Albus's voice was muffled by the floo ”It will be good for you too.”

“I am not a medi-witch Albus, and if I have to take care of that mutt all the time, **my** research… my **real** research… will suffer.” Snape sounded displeased

“ **He is** your research, the biggest and the most important one” Albus’ voice had a tinge of impatience.

“What am I supposed to do with him? Train him, teach him how to fetch, take him to a walk 3 times a day? I am not a pet owner.” asked Snape, Lupin shivered listening to venom spilling from Snape’s words, feeling like a hard heavy rock is pressing on his chest.

“No, you are not, but your portion is an asset to our cause Severus, I do not have to remind you of that. Do I have to remind you that you owe me…” there was a coldness in Albus’ voice now, one that he never heard before.

“I know that Albus. Very well, I will do that, but Albus… One day, my debt to you will be repaid.” Snape sounded almost menacing

“To me…perhaps, but you are not doing this for me and you know it.” calmly replied Albus

“Albus!” hissed Snape dangerously.

 _Is he really going to pick a fight with Dumbledore?_ Remus started to moan and conversation stopped. Snape was next to the bed. Remus felt soft cold hand on a forehead.

“Next time, I’m letting you drown” Severus was annoyed.

“Thank you.” Remus grabbed Snape’ hand and squeezed it before sinking into much-needed sleep.

**A pet owner after all**

Looking at Lupin, Severus frowned.

This was not his plan - his plan was elegant and subtle. Now his carefully designed plan had no meaning. Now, on top of all, he was humiliated, even more, downgraded to werewolf’s medi-witch.  

Looking around the tiny room, Snape frowned again. A few unpacked books in travel binders, two rather shabby suitcases not fully unpacked.

 _Merlin, he is living like Muggle soldier_.

The room was in depressing, beige and brown, shades. The man on the bed moaned and he looked at Lupin almost with curiosity.

Lupin from his school days was sickly looking, thin but handsome without a doubt. This Lupin was different. the skin was yellowish, he had dark circles around his eyes, with an aura of permanent exhaustion around him. Sandy hair had too many greys for his age. Lupin had the appearance of a person battered with problems. A person living its life in constant pain.

The old man gave me a hell of a task this time.

On top of all that, he’s appointed to take care of someone he wanted as far away as possible. Humiliated once more by Dumbledore’s lack of sensitivity. Like he did not have already his hands full with watching over the Potter menace.

With deep displeasing high, Snape examined both chambers appointed to Lupin. Frowned at weak wards on one of them, then summoned house elf asking for some books and a tea.

It was time for devising a new plan, the prospect of that did not make his mood any better, considering that answer was simple and staring at him from the beginning. No matter how he tried to circumvent it, the answer was still the same.

For the rest of the day, Lupin was in and out of slumber. That was a far from the peaceful day for Snape. Lupin was moaning in his sleep, screaming even when nightmares caught up with him. But mostly, Lupin just mumbled with fear in his sleep.

”No, I can’t,…lavender, chamomile, cedar…I can’t,…”.

Severus was more than a little baffled with that mumbling.

**Arguing with Albus is like arguing with a wall**

It was nearly dinnertime when Lupin finally drifted back from yet another nightmare to reality. Soft whispers filled the room.

“Albus, this will not work.” Snape was defensive.

"My dear boy…” tried Albus

“Where am I going to sleep? He lives in a shoebox!” Hissed Snape impatiently

“Did you consider other options? Perhaps…” Albus was still calm.

“I did, and I discarded them. That is an invasion of my personal space, not to mention my peace. Even more so, to put Gryffindor in **my** dungeon? In Slytherin? On rumours that will start, I do not even wish to conceive! Do you really have agenda to ruin me completely? “ Growled Snape

“My boy …” Albus tried again.

“Even, and I say **even** , if I do such insane thing, again - where am I going to sleep? Should I place a mat on the floor for him?” hissed Snape

“Well, you could always…” chuckled Albus

“ **No**! . . . Oooh, very well, there is no point in arguing with you anyway. I need to go and get his potion, I will think of something, as always. Can you be here with him, until I return?” Whatever Snape agreed upon wasn’t to his liking and it was more than clearly conveyed in his voice.

“I have some spare time, you just do what you have to do.” Mildly replied Albus, sounding pleased with himself.

Snape left the room grumbling to his chin and Lupin opened his eyes. “Albus.” his voice was husky from sleep ”What is going on?”

“Nothing to concern yourself with, my boy. Severus made some good improvements on your potion. It is not for…well, let us say that this potion is tailored for you and you alone.” Albus smiled at him, his eyes twinkling behind half-moon glasses.

“But why?” his fuzzy brain couldn’t work out the answer to that simple question.

“Because I asked him to.” Albus raised his hand, preventing him to say anything ”Also, ever since that night, he is more than a little obsessed to find a cure for your condition, or at least the next best thing.”

“More like a muzzle. He loath me, Albus.” sighed Remus

“Why are you so sure of that?” asked old wizard gently

“He always did, we did him so much wrong for so long that I cannot even blame him. You know what happened that night Albus... When Severus Snape does not hate me, he is mortally terrified of me. Now you are forcing him to spend time with me, to be around me on the nights like that!” Remus closed his eyes briefly, defending himself from the harsh truth. The truth he didn’t want to face.

“Severus is not that fragile.” Argued Albus.

“Are you sure, he just may be more fragile than you think, Albus? Sure, he is a cruel and spiteful person but …” He tried, was it possible that Albus didn’t see that in Snape?

“Is Severus so hard to be around…?” asked Albus, now concerned, and Remus couldn’t but wonder - _For whom was Albus concerned?_

“He is…yes…no…I do not know. We barely tolerate each other and we are not friends Albus.” He finally answered.

“Maybe it is time for you two become friends.” offered Albus with a hint of amusement.

“This is no joking matter,” he replied harshly.

“I am not joking, my boy. Severus needs to be around you, not just, that he improved your Wolfsbane potion, there is another potion that you will have to take...” Albus trailed off

“What?” Remus tried to sit in bed and failed

“Trust me, Remus...” mildly smiled Albus.

“I trust you, but I am not sure how much I can trust him.” He grumbled.

“You would be surprised.” chuckled Albus

“For how long?” sighed Remus, conversations with Albus had a tendency to run around in circles and he was not up for that now.

“I beg your pardon.” It appeared to him like Albus was lost in thought.

“For how long I will have to take that other potion.” he repeated the question, feeling a bit disgruntled.

“We shall see, time will tell. You will drink it daily, except on days you take Wolfsbane. Severus will monitor your progress.” Replied Albus almost absentmindedly.

“Why him? Why not Poppy?”

“We finally agree on something, Lupin.” Cold voice joined the conversation, Snape was standing in the doorway, holding his bathrobe.

“I am too busy to explain this, all over again, to the both of you. The matter is settled. I wish you a good evening.” Sharply replied Albus and diapered into the fireplace.

Snape tossed robe to him. “Dress up, if I was forced to spend the day with you being naked, I refuse to eat a meal with you, naked.” growled Snape turning his back to him.

Slowly, Remus get out of bed and put the robe on, he was carefully listening. Snape’s heart rate was fast, too fast in contrast to his cold and calm composure. Snape’s body was emitting the scent of lavender, chamomile, and cedar. Scent oddly mismatched with Snape’s personality, and this room.

“You can look now.” Chuckled Remus

“Oh, what a joy.” Sarcastically retort Snape still refusing to look at him. ”Dinner is on the table, we will eat here until my chambers are rearranged.”

“And where is the table?” The table, as well as few other things, were missing.

“In the other room, if you can call it that,” replied Snape, finally turning to face him.

“In the room where I transform?” Remus felt panic rising.

“Oh.” An eyebrow went up and Remus bit his thong not to vocalize his thoughts

“And did you by any chance stumble upon few wards on the entrance?” he asked, annoyed.

“Those feeble ones? Really Lupin, from DADA professor I expected more…challenge…or talent.” Smirked Snape.

“They are not feeble.” Growled back Remus, angry at Snape, at Dumbledore, at life,...

“For a full-grown wolf, out of his wits, they are almost not there.” Snape was annoyingly calm.

“I do take Wolfsbane, Severus, and they suffice.” Remus lowered his voice to an angry hiss.

“Why are you not using Shrieking Shack again? No wonder your skin is in shreds. Let us eat.” Snape was calm, he entered the other room and sit at the table. Seeing the disgusted look on Remus’ face, Snape added. ”Meat will make you sick. For now, and in the next few days, you will be on a vegetable diet. Do not worry it is only temporarily.”  

**A meal shared with the enemy**

Eating in silence across Lupin, dressed in a loose bathrobe, Severus was exposed to the view of Lupin’s bare chest riddled with scars. He forced himself not to take out his wand and simply jinx Lupin. Amusing his thoughts with a list of nasty jinxes that he would like to use. Lupin apparently amused himself by glaring at him.

“What do you want?” He asked when he couldn’t ignore the annoying stare anymore.

“From you or in life?” Chuckled Lupin and he snorted.

“For Christmas Lupin, I am planning to put you on my gift list.”

“I’m touched.” Retorted Lupin

“I have no patience for your mockery Lupin. State your business or let me finish my meal in peace.” Severus detested eating in Great Hall, but now he missed it keenly. Apparently, there were worse things than eating in the Great Hall.

“The conversation would be nice.” Politely smiled Lupin.

“We do not have any remotely interesting topic to start a conversation, little less to hold on to it.” He rejected the idea, he had no intention of socialising with Lupin.

“Well, we could get to know each other better.” Continued Lupin, ignoring his remark.

“Why would I want to know anything about you?” If he wasn’t aware until now how difficult task at hand will be, this conversation gave him pretty good insight. He almost grunted at the prospect of it.

“I don’t know, but we could try. I’ll ask the first question.” Lupin wasn't giving up.

“ **No**!” If Lupin continues like this, he might hex him.

“All right, then you ask me something.” Lupin was grinning widely, and Snape rolled his eyes.

 _I am in hell!_ He sighed. “You do not use salves for these.” He pointed at the scars on Lupin’s chest.

“No, no point in that” Replied Lupin with a grin.

He did not like that grin, not for a bit. Suddenly a thought came to the mind.

“Lupin, you…did you…?”

The brown-amber eyes looked at him with a twinkle, a huge grin spread across man’s face. “No, I believe I did not.”

His heart started to race again, fork banged loudly on the plate, chipping it slightly in the process, as he let it drop from his fingers. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“I think you are not far from that, but I am wondering why my nudity is so…exciting…for you” grinned Lupin, looking him straight in the eyes.

He frowned. _How…my heartbeat! Bloody mutt can hear my heartbeat!_ If he knew anything, he knew that his face and his voice or thoughts could not betray him.

But Lupin had an extremely sensitive hearing.

Every time he was annoyed his heart would race, but that was a private matter, no one ever knew that about Severus Snape. Lupin told him last night that he could hear his heartbeat. Snape relaxed, at least that problem was easy to solve.

His lips curled into something like a smile. “The tasks that old man gives me, going to be the death of me, one day.”

“They very well may be.” Lupin’s face suddenly turned serious. ”Severus, don’t be here tomorrow. Just don’t...”

“I am not planning to…” He replied.

“Thank you…” Lupin sounded relieved, and he smirked

“Neither will you.” Looking at the change on Lupin’s face with a small pang of satisfaction he summoned a cup of hissing liquid and handed it to Lupin, who was choking on a piece of carrot. ”Drink it.”

“And where am I supposed to be?” croaked Lupin once he managed to spit out the unsuccessfully murderous carrot.

“In the dungeon.” He gritted his teeth.

“Look, Snape…Severus…” started Lupin sounding concerned.

“The matter is settled. Drink your potion and put…some…clothes…on...” He growled.


	3. Why did you stay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.
> 
> A/N: Well I sort off - "fixed" the mistakes - as much as I can in this chapter.  
> Still, if someone wants to beta this story I won't say no :)

**How to rattle the Potion Master**

Downing a potion in one disgusting gulp, Lupin handed the cup back to Snape. 

He got up from the table and stood in front of Snape, letting his bathrobe to fall almost completely open. Snape’s heart rushed again. With a wide grin, Lupin walked to the bedroom. Behind his back, Snape mumbled something about  _ ‘decency’  _ and ‘ _ bloody Gryffindor’s _ ’. 

The room started to spin again and he collapsed on the bed, covering himself with a thin blanket and closing his eyes, moaning in pain.

Smells and sounds, even light was enhanced once again. He could smell and hear Snape entering the room. Heartbeats were calm and steady.

“Cheater” He whispered with a weak smile.

“Sleep now.” Snape’s voice was soft but even and emotionless. 

He wanted to protest, to argue, to throw another man out of balance and to hear those fast heartbeats once more. Instead, he sighed and slid into the blissful peace of slumber.

**Restless night**

Remus tossed and turn, moaning in sleep. Severus sat straight in his armchair, banishing most of the slumber haze with the sharp shake of the head. With a sigh, he approached the bed and tried to calm Lupin down - reassuring him and whispering in a soft voice. 

Lupin moaned again, his eyes opened slowly still foggy from a dream. “You are here.”

“Not by a choice, I have to be.” He replied the last thing he wanted was for Lupin to start thinking that he cared for him.

“Where do you sleep?” Asked Lupin drowsily, looking not quite awake. Sounding more like a little child than a grown man that he was. 

Measuring what answer would be the best to calm Lupin and send him back to sleep, he grumbled. “I don’t… In the armchair.”

“No, you are not.” Whispered Lupin and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him down on the bed. 

Losing balance, he slumped on to the bed. Lupin wrapped hands around him and fell back into deep slumber.

_ Merlin save me! _

His body stiffened. The grip was too strong for him to untangle without waking up Lupin again. He sighed. 

_ That old baboon is owning me now _ . 

Lupin snuggled next to him even more and his body gradually stiffened further - he felt trapped. His wand, was sitting on the table, but even if he were to call for it, what could he do? Hex Lupin? As summoned by his thoughts, Lupin snugged, even more, tossing one leg across him. 

Snape's mind started to panic, as he stretched his arm to call for the wand. 

_ I told that fleabag to dress up!  _ “Accio wand!“

**On the day of the full moon**

Lupin woke up rather late, with a yawn, stretched. His head was clear and thoughts coherent. He had a distinct feeling that he is not alone in the room. Remus glanced around and saw Snape dozing off in the armchair.

“There was plenty space in here you know.” He chuckled. 

“Yes.” Mumbled Snape sourly. ”You are still undressed I believe.”

“It is not …” He felt almost giddy at the prospect of teasing Snape.

“Do not even dare to finish that sentence. Not if you do not have a desire for particularly nasty hex, this early in the morning.” Hissed Snape angrily. ”I will, however, leave you to maybe … I don’t know … try and dress for a change.”

He chuckled, while Snape left the room. 

Getting up from the bed Remus noticed that the slight dizziness returned. He shook his head and with a small hint of panic, realized that he could feel the moon. Being what he is for so long, he was familiar with that feeling and yet - he did not feel it for years. 

The cacophony of sounds was now a constant murmur in the back of his head. 

The smells were the direct cause of nausea. 

He had those symptoms before - as a kid, but they were after-effect, they lasted for a day or two after the transformation, never before.

Lupin stumbled to the other room and frowned on a breakfast consisting of unappealing looking porridge.

“Yuck” He mumbled.

“Just eat” Came a terse reply from Snape. Severus had his head bowed over his porridge.  

Sitting at the table and trying to shove disgusting mush down his throat he carefully listened. Snape’s heart was still calm and even.

“What do the improvements do?” He asked. 

“Beg your pardon.” Severus’s head sharply snapped up.

“My senses - smell, hearing, even eyesight...they are all influenced. Too much, for my taste. But symptoms are mixed-up. It was like that, or at least something like that, at the beginning. I did not feel like that for a very long time.” Explained Remus. 

“This brew of Wolfsbane will draw your more…primal…nature close to the surface. Connect you with your…other nature.” Snape replied. 

It appeared to Remus that Snape had no problem talking if he was asked about potions. More shocking than having a chat with Snape were, however, were Snape’ words.

“You meant my wolf” Gasped Remus.

“If you like to call it like that. The more your conscious mind get a hold of those more … wild and primal … aspects of your personality, the transformation should be easier and your human consciousness easier to retain during transformation.” continued to explain Snape.

“But that…, I have heard about that. That is dangerous! What if I go feral…” He stuttered.

“You will not. The second potion will take care of that. Until… Well, I will help you to control your…urges… for the rest of the month, until you do not need me anymore.” Snape’ voice sounded bitter.

“Will I have to drink that other potion for the rest of my life?” Remus felt torn now, hopeful and scared in equal measures, not happy at the prospect of depending on two potions instead of one. 

_ And who is going to brew them once the experiment is done?  _

That was worrisome. The Wolfsbane potion was expensive on its own.

“No. The second potion will build up in your system over time. No more than 6 to 8 months. After that, you will not need the second potion at all.” Severus was still calm, oblivious to his predicament as it appeared.

“And how long are you going to breathe behind my neck?” He growled and Snape looked at him as if he lost his mind. ”How long will you…monitor…me?”

“6 to 8 months.” Came short reply. Apparently, Severus wasn’t too happy with this arrangement either. Remus had no doubt that Albus was behind all, he sighed. 

Deeming that he already ate as much of a breakfast as he could stomach, Remus pushed his plate and stood up. But, after only a few steps the dizziness hit him again. He wobbled to the bathroom and turned the water on the shower, crunching on the shower floor, fully dressed. 

He was shivering. 

Remus remembered this as well - the bite of chill in bones, freezing him from inside on the day of the moon. For all these years he fought so hard to progress. He fought this problem with more and more success. At this point, it felt like a major setback. 

He shivered again, water wasn’t hot enough. 

Strong arms pulled him off the ground and wrapped a towel around him.

“Take off that wet clothes, I placed dry one at the cabinet.” Snape's voice had more than little annoyance ”I should ask Albus for another paycheck, babysitting you is not in my job description.”

The sound of water stopped but the steam still lingered in the air. Opening his eyes, he could not stop chuckling. Snape was standing in the bathroom, in what appeared to be Muggle raincoat and Muggle fishing boots.

“Will you watch me undress?” The teasing smile appeared in the corner of his lips. Chuckles erupted into a heartfelt laughter when Snape frowned and silently turned on his heel, leaving the bathroom with the attempt of dignity. To him, Snape looked like an oversized penguin.

**Learning curve**

Placing Lupin in bed, Snape felt annoyed beyond measure. Even if he prepared himself that this would most likely happen, he still was disgruntled. It wasn’t he who supposed to watch over Lupin.

For the best part of the day, Lupin was in-and-out of conciseness. 

Severus realized that he can have a peaceful time, when the other man was sleeping and not dreaming, which wasn’t so often, to his dismay.

As the evening approached, Lupin started to feel better. They ate dinner and went to the dungeon. Snape showed to Lupin back room he fitted with cage wall, much bigger than Lupin’s small back room, with strong wards on bars. 

Lupin’s cheery disposition and constant need to laugh made his bad mood even worse. The time was near.

“I have to check something. You can leave your clothes here.” He told Lupin and went to check whether all his mail was delivered in a timely manner. 

When he returned Lupin was not in the room. Feeling anger and panic, Severus rushed to the Lupin’s quarters, only to find him trying to raise wards on the smaller room, shaking.

“You fool!” He growled, dragging resisting Lupin to the fireplace.

**Under the skin**

Itching beneath the skin told Lupin that transformation is near. 

Fighting the waves of panic he tried to shake of Snape who was dragging him to the room with the cage. Remus was still fighting while Snape tried to undress him.

Itching turned to pain and he raised his wand and screamed.

“Deprimo!!!” Forcing Snape out of the cage and slamming him hard into the opposite wall. 

Remus had just enough time to throw his wand on Snape before the searing pain hit, and he screamed. 

**The first transformation**

Tackling with Lupin to force him to stay put, using last ounces of strength to subdue the stubborn wizard, Severus silently cursed Albus. Suddenly, a strong wind blasted him out of the cell, slamming him into the wall, knocking out the air from his lungs. He murmured the activating spell for the wards as he was flying through the air. Lupin’s wand landed near him.

Screams filled the room. 

Severus was still gasping for air, panting heavily from exhaustion and the blow he received. Unable to move or to close his eyes or even cover his ears... He was looking in horror while Lupin screamed and contorted on the floor.

Loud cracking of the bones filled the room, while screams got higher. The skin split, drawing not blood but more horrifying screams. He was mesmerized by the view, petrified by the site. Carefully built protections failing him, allowing the fear and dread to show in his eyes.

_ This is a true curse. _

In his time Severus saw others broken by far less. . . Losing their minds. . .  Spilling secrets. . . He could not imagine someone going through this on a regular basis. 

How many times through the years he savoured the fact that Lupin was in pain? He never imagined this. As far as he was concerned, Severus didn’t want to witness the transformation never again, for as long as he lives.

Screams turned to howls and then subsided to painful, sorrowful whimpers. 

The wolf turned to him, whining, and locked a golden gaze full of pain to his eyes filled with fear. Shaking and whimpering wolf dragged himself near the cage door careful not to touch the wards. Half-howling, sorrowful sound and pawing movements echoed through the deaf space as wolf tried to call him close. 

Severus was scared, truly and honestly scared. Scared, even as he could recognize human eyes, in ugly wolf’s head.

He could bet his life that this transformation should have been less painful. Then again, for all he knew, maybe it was. Even so, he still wondered if he failed in his attempt. That was highly unsettling thought. 

With regret, Severus admitted to himself that he gained newly found respect for Lupin.

Wolf whimpered again and pawed, calling him. Carefully, he slowly crawled across the stone floor closer to the cage. Finally, Severus got as near to the bars as he could and seat in front of them. The wolf whined sadly. 

With fear, still lingering in his eyes, Severus slowly pushed one hand near the warded cage bars. The wolf tried to sniff it and touched the wards with his nose. He backed up when wolf started to howl and whine, scratching his nose in a frenzy, leaving huge gaps on the snout.

“Calm down Lupin, calm down.” He whispered in a trembling voice. But the wolf continued to claw his snout. ”I must be out of my wits.”

Once again, he approached the cage bars, making adjustments in the wards, leaving just a small space free - big enough for his hand to slide in.

_ Madam Pomfrey will have to grow me a new arm tomorrow. _

His mind complained while he focused to stop trembling. Holding his breath, Severus slid one arm through the gap in the wards and beneath the bars, under the cage door.

“Do not harm me, Lupin” He gasped, his voice shaking, unsteady. 

The wolf looked at him, his ears flapped back to the head. Kneeling down, wolf whimpered and carefully neared his hand. 

Fighting the notion to pull back the hand and run, Severus breathed slowly. Suppressing fear, he focused on the wolf’s eyes. A wet nose touched the hand, sniffed it and lay on it. Wolf’s eyes, full of sorrow, fixed on him. 

Severus tried to retract his hand, but the wolf whined sorrowfully and he gave up. Placing himself on the stone floor, lying with one hand in the cage and other beneath his head, he gradually managed to drift into a slumber.

**The morning after**

Remus woke up, surprised that he slept through change. 

His head rested on the Snape’s hand. 

Snape slept in front of the cage, his hair fell over the face rested on the bend of another hand. Standing up and stretching, he was pleasantly surprised with the absence of pain. With a yawn, Remus tried to find something to cover himself. Pieces of torn clothes laid all over the cell, his wand was across the room, near the opposite wall.

“Severus. Severus. Snape!” He called at first softly then sharply. The other man opened his eyes slowly.

Looking at Snape’s foggy eyes, Remus realized that the man probably wasn’t fully awake. Finally, Snape carefully pulled back his hand and sat, still sleepy, Snape took the wand and mumbled the spell to lower the wards.

“I will bring you some clothes” Snape’ voice was harsh from sleep and somewhat softer than usual. 

Remus’ ears filled with fast thumps of Snape’ heart, he nodded silently. 

Snape’ heartbeats were slow and steady when he returned with a house robe and two small phials. Snape cover his lower body with a robe and showed the phials into his hand. One was pain-numbing potion and he welcomed it, even if there was no need for it. The second potion tasted odd and unfamiliar, but he drank it anyway. 

In the meantime, Snape was spreading healing salve on wounds and bruises. First on his back, then on the torso - rubbing them in precise, gentle moves. Facing the Potion Master, Remus observed with wonder as Snape took a small amount of salve and spread it carefully over his fingers, then leaned and touched his face. He flinched, stiffening back, and Snape grabbed him by the chin firmly, touching his face again.  

“You mangled your face last night. Now stand still and let me help you.” Growled Snape.

Remus felt lost in face of this change. Snape’ behaviour was far from familiar. He was not sure, what was going on or how to react to this change. 

_ Why do you have to be so caring? I need you to spill your poison at me as you always do. _

Gentle touches stopped. “Can you stand?” Asked Snape softly

“Yes.” 

“Then we can go to the room, the food and clean clothes are waiting for you.” 

“Can, …can I take a shower?” He asked, confused, unused to this kind of treatment not only from Snape but after the transformation in general. Last time someone cared for him was when he was a student at Hogwarts.

“Later, yes. Salves need time to soak in.” Nodded Snape 

“All right, you go and I’ll come a bit later if you don’t mind?” He smiled, he needed time to process the change. 

“Are you sure you can?” Snape continued with his odd behaviour.

“I am not little kid anymore, Severus.” Remus answered, maybe more sharply than he wanted. ”Before you came to nanny me, I did all this by myself. I will be fine, just need few moments alone.”

“As you wish.” Coldly replied Snape and left the room. 

Shakingly he tightened the house robe. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he tried to remember when was the last time he was so confused by the situation. Testing the effects of this new potion, he tried to remember, something... anything from the last night. 

The image of Snape’ face during his transformation... the expression of shock on Snape’ face and horror in his eyes, came to mind. Fear, fear that almost had a taste. Fear that filled his nostrils for the good part of the night. Fear still present even after Snape fell asleep. 

_ Why did you stay? _

Suddenly, he felt sick and throw up before he could even try to stop it. And then everything went black. 

Surrounded by blackens, Lupin could feel two strong arms lifting him, pressing him to the chest like a small child and placing him on a soft bed. The smell of lavender underlined with chamomile and cedar filled his nostrils.

“I know who you are” He mumbled as the darkness overtook him.


	4. Don’t lie to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

###  **The time in-between**

Time blended for Remus. 

He drifted in and out of conciseness. The only constant in his hazy mind was the presence of Severus. 

Snape poured potions down his throat, whipped his sweaty forehead, or simply sat near - whenever he drifted briefly into conciseness. 

When Remus puked his guts out, soft and strong hands held him. 

Gentle whisper was floating in his foggy mind.

Finally, the fog lifted, still not fully awake but aware enough to hear and understand what is going around. The quiet whispers of Albus and Severus arguing, Snape’ voice sounded worried and tired.

“If he does not wake up soon I will stop administering the second potion to him.” Hissed Severus.

“You predicted this reaction if I remember correctly.” Albus was sharp, Remus realised that this kind of arguments probably was regular occurrence between those two. 

“No, not like this. He is puking blood, that was not my prediction. That is poisoning and I refuse...”  Growled Snape.

“That is why you teach Potions and not Divination.” Remus wasn’t sure if this light tone Albus used supposed to lighten the mood or enrage Snape.

“Do not mock me, Albus. I was, …I am a lot of things but I never will be a cold-blooded killer.” Hissed Snape.

“Do you really believe that this is killing him?” There was a hint of worry in Albus’ voice.

“I…I do not know. His mind is in shock, his body failing, he is… He is puking blood.” Snape sounded almost desperate.

“I have faith in you, Severus. He will be fine.” Softly said Albus.

“I cannot promise you that Albus. Not at this point, and not if I continue giving him that potion.” Sternly replied Severus.

“Did you give him the required dose this evening?” Asked Albus

“As requested.” Snape’ reply was a worried and disgruntled sigh.

“Then there is nothing we can do until tomorrow. Tomorrow, we will decide. Honestly, my boy, if I do not know you better I would say that you care for the man.” Albus chuckled, obviously pleased with the development of the conversation.

“That only proves how little you know me, Albus.” Hissed Severus.

“Maybe, and maybe not. Try to get some rest tonight, Severus.” Albus’ words were greeted with an annoyed groan.

Soft hands touched his forehead. 

Wet cloth replaced them. 

Bitter potion poured down his throat, and he drifted to sleep again.

**Awake again**

Lupin woke up covered with sweat, breathing rapidly. With the corner of the eye, noticed a trace of black clothing disappearing in the direction of the bathroom. Looking around noticed that he occupied the small single bed, placed near the cold fireplace, on the spot previously reserved for Snape’ secretary table. On a hand’s reach was a set of clean clothes, neatly folded. He was naked under the covers. 

_ Where could my wand be? _

Every muscle in his body was aching. Forcing himself to sit, he reached for the clothes. Dressing up turned out to be a challenging task, but he managed it somehow. Trying to fight off dizziness, Remus pulled his shirt on. 

Snape returned to the room, with still wet hair. Calm heartbeats and expressionless face did not match Snape’ wretched look. Skin colour even more pronounced, yellowish with dark bags under his eyes. Exhaustion was written all over his face. 

Snape approached fast, pushing him down. “You are not in a condition to sit, little less to get up”

“Why? How…how long I was out.” His throat hurt when he spoke

“10 days. You had a severe reaction to other potion, more severe than I anticipated.” Remus’s jaw dropped. 

_ I was unconscious for 10 days!  _ “You look same as I feel. What did you do in those 10 days?” Fighting the uncomfortable scratch in his throat he tried to joke.

Snape gave him a cold, long stare, not too friendly at all. “I did what I had to do...” answered Snape vaguely.

“Is it possible for me get up somehow? I think I am tired of lying.” he smiled a shy smile.

“If you are up to it. However, do not play a bloody hero. I will help you reach the chair.” Grumbled Snape.

The feeling of hotness rose in his cheeks, he nodded. Snape offered him hand and he accepted. Reluctantly, Lupin had to admit, Snape was correct in his assessment, he was not in a condition to stand up or walk alone. Half carrying him Snape walked slowly to the armchairs. 

Finally slumping into an armchair, he realised how tired he felt as if he had run a marathon. Remus frowned at the bowl of vegetable soup on the table.

“I was feeding you with soup for 10 days, and you could not hold inside even that. If you do not throw up that, there is a chamomile tea, for later.” Explained Snape in a low voice.  

The soup smelled pleasant and he savoured the aroma for a while until his stomach started it rumble loudly. Taking a gulp of warm liquid, almost saying from sensation, he drank the whole bowl. Snape was silent, eating his soup slowly and keeping a wary eye on him. Lupin felt sickness rising up, but not too strong, and he suppressed it.

“I am sorry, Severus.” He whispered.

“Did anyone ever told you, Lupin, that you apologize too much? What for are you apologizing now?”

“That night, last 10 days…just about anything I can remember. I owe you…” he tried, but Severus cut him off.

“You do not owe me anything, Lupin. I don’t do this out of the kindness of my heart.”

“But that night…” He tried again.

“What about that night? For what are you apologizing? Being bloody moron or for tearing half of your face off?” Snapped Snape

“For scaring you, making you remember…” He trailed off...

“One cannot remember something he never managed to forget.” Snape' voice was calm with a hint of annoyance in it.

“For that, I don't even know how to begin to apologize.”

“You do not.” Flatly replied Severus.

“Look, Severus, I know you do not believe me but I had nothing with that joke. I never, ever, in my life … I had so much to lose as well.”

“I know.” Snape was now openly annoyed. ”As I said, you are not the one who should be apologizing for that night. For so many other things, you do not even remember to apologize - yes. However, not for that night.”

“And what about the moon…?” 

“Moon, Lupin, is an object. A planet in the sky. Apologizing for its existence is … ridiculous… at best.” Sneered Severus.

“Don’t do that, you are very well aware what I want to say.”

“As I recall, nothing happened. I do not see the reason for apologizing.”

“I terrified you...” whispered Remus, letting that too much of a horror he felt sip into the words.

“I am not that timid,.Don’t give yourself too much credit, Lupin.” sneered Snape ”I will admit, however, that your magical blast was far from pleasant. May I ask…?”

“Anything.”

“Do not toss that word so easily.” A bitter smile curled Snape’s lips. ”The pain during transformation…how much…can you describe it?”

He blinked, of all the questions this one was least expected.

“I am not sure if there is a word to describe it. It is intense. It feels like many crushiatus curses landed on you at once. Multiple bones in the body break tearing through your muscles and shift. Your skin rips. All that is happening at the same time. I do not believe there is the word to describe that amount of pain. However, pain is brief, it does not last for long. Why do you want to know?”  

“New Wolfsbane, I was hoping that it would influence transformation. Make it less painful. Maybe I made mistake” Snape’ low voice faded gradually as he spoke.

“The potion worked, Severus. Maybe not in the direction you wished it to, but the potion worked. Transformation back to human form is equally painful. . . Was equally painful. My mind was clear in wolf form, and I slept through the second transformation. Potion worked.” Remus tried to reassure Snape.

Snape nodded. “You should be resting.”

“It feels nice to be conscious again. You look like you need to rest.”

“When the time comes.” Agreed Snape, but to Lupin this answer did not sound so reassuring. “Would you like something to read?”

“That would be nice, if you do not mind.”

“Not at all, but I am afraid that I have only potions books.” Snape frowned.

“I do not mind reading about potions.” 

Snape stood up and picked one book from the shelf, it was a book on rare plants found in exotic places, even if contained information about their use in potions book contained travelogues as well. They spent the morning in peaceful silence. Albus came in the afternoon, and Snape retired to his laboratory leaving them alone to talk.  

The following days were passing quickly. Remus was still feeling bit ill, and he would throw up on occasion. Still in Snape’s quarters and still not present at classes. Snape continued to take care of him, picking up the slack and teaching his part of classes as much as he could. 

On the verge of the new full moon, Remus finally started to feel like his old self. Even his reaction to wolfsbane and other potion improved.

On the night of the full moon, he begged Severus not to come to the transformation. And managed to convince him just in that, Snape was not in the room for the transformation. However, next morning Snape was sleeping next to his cage with one hand under the cage bars. Transformation back was, again, easy and painless. The second potion did not cause blackouts and vomiting, he was finally strong enough to start teaching again.

However, he was still in Snape’s quarters, sleeping on a small single bed.

~ SS ~ RL ~ SS ~ RL ~

Much to his own dismay, Snape had to admit to himself that sharing quarters with Lupin was not very bad. Lupin was mostly quiet and out of his way. Administering potions to Lupin was easier that way; the potions he alone was taking took a small amount of creativity. He did not want his ”guest” to know that he is taking them. All in all, his life was not disrupted too much, but the amount of work started to take the toll on him.

**Don’t lie to me**

Three days passed since last full moon. Heighten senses did not bother him anymore; he took full control over them. Well, the only scent, he still could not block out, was Severus’. However, even that did not bother Lupin that much. Lupin did his best to stay as far as possible from Snape.

Snape was a quiet companion. He never complained about anything, but as the time passed, Remus noticed that Snape looked more and more wretched. Dark bags under Snape’s eyes getting darker by the day. He was grateful for all Severus did for him, but still had no idea how to repay his debt.

That third day, he was waiting for the bathroom to get free. The least he could do for Severus was too neatly fold his robes while Snape was in the shower. As he picked up the black robe, two tiny phials fell on the floor. Picking them up, not intending anything but to place them back in the pocket, he sensed the smell. Carefully he sniffed one than the other.

_ That two-timing idiot!  _

His mood shifted to anger as he was thinking on the uses and consequences for prolonged usage of potions he smelled. Of course, Snape was a Potion Master, and even those phials would not mean much if he could not smell change in Snape’s own smell. For nearly two months, he could smell one of those potions in Snape’s sweat.

_ Why I did not think of it before!  _ Mad at himself as much as at Snape, he glared at the bathroom door.

Severus, unaware of his discovery, or build up anger finally came to the room. Lupin was seated on the edge of his bed, across Snape’ robe. Waiting for another man to approach his clothes.

“Did you slept well?” asked Remus, containing his anger.

“I did.”

“So it was a good night’s rest?”

“What is matter with you, Lupin?” Snape turned to face him, frowning.

“No dreams?” He persisted

“Not that I can think of. You are intruding, Lupin. I am aware that Gryff...”

Jumping from his seat, faster than Snape could react, Remus tackled Severus on the bed. With one hand, he scooped Snape’ hands, pinning them above Snape’ head. He pinned Severus to the bed with his own weight.

“ **Do not lie to me** !” Yelled Remus.

“Let me go,” Growled Snape dangerously.

“Don’t you dare lie to me!” He ignored the threat in Snape’s voice.

“What is wrong with you? Let me go.” Demanded Severus, wiggling around in an attempt to free himself.

“ **This** !!!” He shoved two small phials in Snape’s face. 

Snape stopped fighting, he sneered at Remus. “You play tackle on a count of me having phials.”

“They reek of potions.”

“And I am the Potion Master of the school. Let me go.”

“Don’t lie to me, Severus. I can smell them, on you.” He picked one phial up ”How long do you take this?”

“And what that might be?”

“Heart calming potion.”

“On occasion.” Calmly lied Snape, and Remus growled.

“DO NOT LIE!!! You taking this potion for at least two months without a break. A Heart calming potion, Severus! Do you want to kill yourself?” 

“Thought never crossed my mind.”

“Then why?”

“Necessity.” Flatly replied Snape.

“Oh! And this?” Snape blinked as he dangled the second phial in front of Severus’s eyes ”Pepper-me-up?  **How dare you, how dare you to combine it with. . . to. . .  How dare you** ?”

“How I dare what?”

“To do… that… to me?” He stuttered.

“As I recall you just accused me that I take those potions. In what way that can be doing anything to you?”

“I am not stupid.” Remus growled. 

The dark red coloured Snape’s cheeks and forehead, black eyes swirled with anger. “You are not rational Lupin. Let me go. I have no idea what are you screaming about, and I am getting tired of your childish behaviour.”

“ **Don’t you lie** ! You would rather kill yourself than…, ohhhhh, you are some piece of work. Then do it! Kill yourself! End you!” He screamed and jumped off, releasing Snape, he tottered few steps back and sat on his bed, burying face in his hands. Snape straighten up slowly with a sigh.

“Even if do want to - end myself, which I do not . . . I cannot. Not until we finish with your medication.” Snape’s voice sounded heavy and tired.

“Why?”

“The second medicine, it is tailored for you and you alone. I cannot give someone else to make it. It will keep you from turning feral.”

“You told me that already.”

“It will also build your immunity. Once we finish, you will be the only werewolf immune to silver.” Snape’s voice was just a barely a whisper.

“Beg your pardon.” The phials clinked on the floor and rolled, slipping from his hands.

“Silver will not be able to harm you. Well, at least not in a way it can now.”

“Is that why my reaction…”

“Yes.” Snape looked tired, he walked to the armchair and sunk in it. ”It is complicated brew, dangerous in wrong hands. It is, also, highly illegal.”

“And you are willing to risk your life, your career for me?” Remus couldn’t believe it.

“For the greater purpose. Do not give yourself too much credit.” Scoffed Snape bitterly.

They sat in silence for some time. Finally, he whispered. “Is it that hard?” 

Snape glanced at him with confusion.

”You would rather risk your life than…”

“What are you implying Lupin?”

“I’m not implying anything, Severus. I know.”

“Whatever you think you know - you are wrong.”

“DON’T LIE TO ME!!!” He screamed, losing his temper once again.

Snape just sunk back into his chair, ignoring his outburst. 

His head buzzed.  _ I will not be the reason for his demise. I refuse…! _

Suddenly he jumped from his seat and called Albus through the floo. Albus was there in a matter of seconds.

“What is going on?” Asked Albus, his eyes darting from him to Snape and back.

“You can have my resignation, Albus. I am giving up. I am giving up on my post as professor. I do not want to be your pet project as well. I am leaving Hogwarts tonight.” Before Albus managed to answer, Snape jumped out of his seat.

“You cannot!”

“And why that might be?” Hissed Remus.

“The second potion, if you do not take the full dose, it will kill you!”

“My life, I may do whatever I am pleased with it.”

“What is going on?” Tried Albus, but he was cut off by Snape’s reply to him, again.

“I will not let you…to...to destroy all my work. Not even if that means that I have to put the collar and a leash on you and chain you to the wall.” Hissed Snape.

“Oh, and when you kill yourself? Who is going to finish my medication then?” He hissed back.

“I am not trying to killing myself! And I have no obligation, whatsoever, to justify my actions to you, Lupin”

“My boys…” Tried Albus for the third time.

“ **Heart calming potion, Severus** !!! If my memory serves me well, you can’t take it more than three days in a row, and even then, it is a risk.”

“As I recall, Lupin, potions were not one of your stronger points.”

“I had time to catch up.”

“Oh, and now you know more about potions than me? Do you care to take my position in school then?”

“No, I won’t claim that I know more, but enough to know what is dangerous and in what dosages.”

“SILENCE!!!” Boomed Albus, his wand was in the air and he was mumbling something.”Now, the deed is done. I just cast a binding spell on you two. Severus, Remus will notify me if you continue to take  **any** potions while he is here. Remus if you try to leave you will find that you are not able to do so. You two are not to be separated more than few hours a day, which is enough to go true classes. No patrolling duty for either of you. If something is going on, you are under strict orders to stay confined in these quarters. Do you understand me?”

“Albus!” They called in the unison.

“My mind is made up. That would be all gentlemen...” Smiled Albus and diapered from the room, leaving him and Snape looking at each other in disbelief.

“You did not give me an answer to my question.” He grumbled.

“Which one? You were barraging them at me, it did not seem like you want answers at all.”

“Is so hard for you? That I know.”

“For you to know what?” there was a definite note of annoyance in Snape’s voice.

“To know that you are not a shell full of venom walking around, spiteful about everything and everyone. To know that you can be annoyed or even caring at rare occasions?” 

Snape sunk back to the chair. “How many more humiliations….”

“Is a trace of humanity that to you? A humiliation?”

“Lupin you are prying, I am not the one to explain myself to you or anyone else for that matter.”

“Then don’t. Don’t explain yourself. Do not say a word. Just, let me at least to try to be your friend.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Severus sounded tired now.

“Because I want to. I need to...”

“Why are you so sure I am even remotely interested in you being my friend? Interested in having friends at all?” Bitterly scoffed Severus. 

“No one can go through life alone. Would that be so hard?”

“What?”

“To have a friend? For us to be friends?”

“I told you, I do not need a friend, Lupin. We are not kids to play in the sandbox. Do try to calm yourself down, I would say that the second phase of your potion is starting to take on in full force.” Sighed Snape.


	5. I want to be your...friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**Proximity**

He’s broken, shattered, defeated. 

Worst of all, he’s discovered! 

In all his life, in all his year as a spy, he managed to preserve that hidden part of his soul - what left of his soul anyway. 

Staring at the fire, Snape wondered if he lost the ability to cover his tracks. How could he let his guard down? How could he let his control slip that much? On the other hand, maybe Remus had some ability to influence his actions. Did he…?

He knew the answer. 

He tried to suppress it. 

He struggled against it. 

Yet, somewhere deep inside - he knew. He always knew. He isolated himself, repressed all his needs. He did not need …did not deserve….

After all these time, someone was there. It was just that. Proximity. Echo of old childish dreams. Nothing more. Suddenly, he felt like all air left out of the room. Potion kept his heart still, but his eyes were burning. He started to gasp for air.

**Let me be here for you**

Sitting on the bed, the book opened in the lap, but Remus could not read. Every nerve in his body was on fire, aching. Snape needed time, and he was willing to provide it. Indecisiveness was nerve-racking. Snape was not as cold as he believed - he had compassion, hidden deep inside.

Suddenly, the gasping sounds came from the armchair. In two steps, he was next to Snape. Snape was pale, large specks of sweat on his forehead, gasping like fish out of the water. Not knowing what caused this, Lupin froze for a moment. Is it a medicine, maybe argument caused his heart to fail? He scooped Snape’s face in his arms.  

“Relax, stop fighting, and just breathe. Do you need Poppy or Albus?” 

Still gasping Snape shook his head. 

”Is it a potion?” 

Another shaky shook of a head, so miniscule that he wouldn’t catch it if he didn't have his hands on Snape. 

”Breathe slowly.”

Snape was in a state of shock, Remus finally realised.

“Trust me.” He whispered. ”I know you wouldn’t believe me, but… I never hated you. . .  Never thought badly about you. However, you were my rival, you had better grades. Everything seemed to come easily to you. Grades, chess, duelling,… I was jealous of you. Never tried hard enough to stop my friends. Nevertheless, after . . . after what happened I tried, I really tried to get near to you, to be your friend. I was wrong. I should have done that before.”  

Gasping subsided into small, shallow breaths. Snape’s eyes looking at him in disbelief.

“We were kids then, not very smart. I did not know much about you then. Is it too late? I know a thing or two about loneliness Severus. I know about the inability to trust, fear even. No one can go alone through life. We all need at least one person we can trust.”

He pulled back, Snape’s breathing returned to normal. 

Kneeling next to the armchair Lupin sat on his heels, carefully observing Snape. This was a unique opportunity, looking as the swirl of emotions pulling back behind a cold mask.

“Why are you so convinced that I do not have that …one, was it,... person? More to the point, why are you so convinced that I have the desire to have YOU as my friend? You are not of any use to me.”

“Friend is not useful, they are just there when we need them, Severus.”

“Maybe from Gryffindor's point of view, Slytherin’s however, have no use of useless attachments, like friendship.” Snape was defensive now and looking at him Remus realized that at this moment continuation of conversation was pointless.

“Very well, Severus, but I am warning you - I won’t give up on this. I do believe that you are in dire need of a true friend.”

“And YOU are that friend?” Snarled Snape. ”What am I in dire need of is some peace and quiet. If your concept of … friendship … can provide me with that. . .”

Without a word, Remus stood up and walked away.   

**Tentative beginning**

Snape softly sighed. Sadness lingered in his eyes resting on roaring flames. 

Remus was sometimes childishly naive, but Severus knew better. Caring about needs of others was not in nature of circles he was frequenting. Slowly, Snape regained his calmness. Years of self-control made imperative in his head, some emotions had to be buried deep inside.

Now, as his head cleared, he started to think. It was too soon, change in Remus’ was faster than he predicted.

_ I did not take into account regenerative powers of a werewolf. They affect even his brain patterns and emotional responses, how interesting. _

With a sigh he turned to sulking Lupin, his real task starts now.

“Lupin,” no response . . . 

_ Merlin help me! _

Carefully measuring emotions called again ”Remus, I do believe we have to talk.”

Lupin looked at him, with a pouting expression he walked and slumped in the other armchair.

“I know that this is at the moment hard for you to accept, and trust me when I say that I am doing both of us a favour, your …feral side starting to surface.”

“Severus, I do not have the desire to rip you to shreds, I just want to try to be your friend.”

“I know,” He sighed. “I will not pretend that I am not baffled with that. Nevertheless, we will have to start working on your self-control. These…urges…will not just go away, they are here to stay. I am confident enough that your, more aggressive side, will start to show fast enough. In that stage, you may be a danger, to yourself and your surroundings. “

“What’s the plan?”

“For a start, conversation, a lot of it. I will try to explain to you your needs and urges, their origin, from a physiological point of view, as much as I can.”

Remus looked at him, reminding him of a student wanting to ask a question but too shy or scared to try. Maybe a joke will reach him better than lecture if I can muster some.     

“You may ask now Mr Lupin,” He said with his ‘professor's’ voice and Remus snickered

“I what to set some rules, if that is alright with you.”

“That depends on a rule.” Severus sighed, he was tackling a teenager now. 

Looking carefully at Lupin, wondering if potions did do some damage to his brain after all. Albus would not be pleased if that were the case.  “Let me hear them.”

“I will be allowed to try befriending you...” stated Remus

“Is that all?”

“And you will, at least, make an effort to accept those attempts.”

“I can …live… with that, but I do not make any promises.” Sighed Severus ”But Lu…Remus, I have to warn you. This...us...no one can know - ever. Not even Albus.  **No one.** I...I dance on the edge of a very sharp blade, and weakness, any weakness is a death. Mine, but if you persist in this...yours. No one can know, or we are both doomed.”

“I understand that all too well, and I promise I will growl and argue, be mean to you in front of the others, but don’t take away my attempts when we are alone. In addition, I will be allowed to ask questions, to get to know you.” Lupin had a stubborn look on his face.

“I will do my best to answer them, within the boundaries of what I think, what my …friends… should know about me.” This was a very slippery field, still tired from the days of taking care for Lupin, he was not even remotely ready for this.   

“Then let me ask you, what did you mean, that morning after I spent my first night here? What did you mean with that sentence?” Snape looked at him in confusion; he had no clue about what Remus was talking ” _ I was considering it, but then again you might enjoy it, really unsettling thought. _ “

“Wolfs and their hearing, there should be a law against that” Severus rolled his eyes and Remus chuckled.

“And?”

“And, nothing.” Evenly replied Snape, teasing Lupin’s curiosity amused him.

Lupin looked frustrated by the reply at first but then he just smiled.

“I really thought that you might, after that night in my office.” Remus suddenly kneeled in front of his chair again. ”Yes . . . about that night - what happened that night exactly?”  

Kneeling in front of him, head tilted to one side, Remus reminded him of a puppy.

“All I did . . .  is to . . . perform a bit of magic on you. I just watched. It could be anything really. I could see myself jinxing you, pouring some nasty acid on you. You have a very peculiar mind, Remus. And too high of an opinion of my skills. All I did was to let you decide your own punishment.”

“But…”

“I simply put you in the same position you put me.”

“And I wanted to be under cruciatus?” mumbled Remus  ”No, not wanted, but I did think it is ample punishment. I had to take into account not only what happened in the classroom, but for as long as we know each other. That punishment was a reflection of my personal feelings of my actions towards you!” Remus looked troubled.

“I would award points to Gryffindor for that.”

“We cleared that out.” Nodded Remus. ”What do you like?”

“I beg your pardon.”

“What do you like, save from potions and Dark Arts. I see those decorations on your walls and yet, that is not you. You do not have a need or use of those. In addition, if I take into consideration all I know about you and that isn’t much at this point . . . You have either too much control in your life or no control at all.”

Severus blinked at maybe the most accurate summarization of his life he ever heard, warmth spreading through his chest as elevating giddy feeling that scared him.  _ At least, one person in this world who understand, and that is Lupin of all.  _

”What  **do you** like? What do you want from your life?” Lupin persisted in his question.

“That is for me know, and for you to discover if you can.” Smiled Severus secretively. 

In all honesty, he had no answer to that question, not even to save his own life. No one in his entire life even asked him what he wants. Expectations, from his parents, from Lilly, from Dark Lord, from Dumbledore - expectations were all he knew. 

He had desires, but he also always wondered how much they were directed by actions of others. As a true Slytherin he acted upon those desires, on hatred, even despair - but never in his life he paused for a moment to ask himself ‘what he likes’. 

_ What do I like? What do I need? _

There was the answer, he was sure of it but buried so deep, hidden even from him.

”If nothing else, Gryffindor really deserves 10 points, for having at least one smart student in its mites. Even if that  _ student _ is a teacher now.” Sneered Severus finally. ”Stubborn but smart.”

“Miss Granger is smart.” Lupin was quick to notice.

“Yes, yes she is. Maybe too much for her own good.” Grumbled Severus.

“You know, you just awarded points to my house.” Grinned Lupin.

“I know what I did.” Scoffed Severus. ”Merlin knows you need them. Rest now, we will start working on that paper Albus gave us shortly.” 

He needed time, tired as he was, realizing that he was opening, too much for his liking. Remus just nodded and walked to his bed.

**To know thy Slytherin**

Remus dwelled on the conversation they just had, trying to sort through the turbulence of fillings. This was what he wanted, and yet all happened so fast or too slow, depending on point of view. 

He felt happy and scared at the same time.

Him and Snape, werewolf and former Death Eater - how for all hairs in Merlin’s beard that can work out. How long can secrecy last? Snape told him, he might be a factor of damnation for both of them.

Closing his eyes, banishing unhappy thoughts from his mind, Remus smiled. He will take what he can, as long as it is possible. 

_ How in Merlin’s name does he know all that? _

“Does Slytherin has private classes about Muggle psychology in their dorms?” The question flew out of his mouth before his brain managed to think it through.

“No.” Snape laughed taking him by surprise, he never even thought that’s possible. Not wanting to alarm Severus at his slip he just asked.

“Then how do you know all that?”

“There is plenty of literature...” replied Severus vaguely. 

“Were? In the restricted section?” His question caused another eruption of laughter.

Remus realized that before today he never heard Snape laughing. Remus enjoyed the unusual site, wanting to remember the glimmer in onyx eyes and softness of otherwise harsh features, brightened with a smile. 

Usually sharp and mask-like face was, now, live and even attractive.

“No,” Finally gasped Snape. ”In Muggle literature.”

“Never took you for someone who read Muggle literature.”

“There is a lot you do not know about me,” replied Severus evenly. 

Remus flinched - that was true, he barely knew anything about Snape. What made him the way he was? Shure, some of it was clear, he even added to it, but that could not be all. Truth was, he did not know sullen Potion Master at all.

“Give me some time.” Remus finally winked.

“I believe that we should start working.” Reminded him Snape and he agreed. Next few hours they spent in setting the basis for their research paper. 

In afternoon Snape ordered lunch for them and then went to the bathroom to take a shower. Remus returned to ponder on their conversation. 

_ What does he like? If I figure that out, I have a fair chance to become his friend. _

Going in his head once more through the entire conversation he looked for clues. It seemed like Severus did not leave any. Approaching a problem from different angle thought crept into his mind. 

_ What if we are more alike than either of us know? _

Looking around the room carefully, Remus discarded the wall with torture devices, it simply didn’t fit. Books and scrolls about plants, beasts and potions. Snape’s room was revealing as much as his words. He inhaled deeply.

Lavender and hint of chamomile…

“Bloody hell! That is it!” Whispered Remus.

The room had no portraits, no photographs. In school, there were no owls with private mail, even when Severus was a kid. Snape’s clothes were dark and strict. Everything about Severus - from this room to his appearance and demeanour was carefully designed to repel. However, this smell . . . his scent . . . they were mild and gentle.

Snape kept the unappealing presentation of his persona with care. . . 

His hair always appeared greasy, but he spent enough time in Severus’s presence to noticed - Severus’s hair was just heavy. Snape’s eyes were deep and brilliant like black jewels when he allowed emotions to surface. 

Everything about Severus Snape was either hard like stone or soft like clouds. There was no middle, but Remus had a feeling that he knew where the true nature of Snape lay. He believed he found the perfect solution.

**Dobby**

This Saturday Snape had to sit through 3h of almost full class with students that he gave detention. When Snape was gone, he set his plan into motion. Remus busied himself wondering how to summon a house-elf when one bold head appeared in front of him with a soft POP.

“How Dobby can help Mr Lupin, sir?” Gasping in surprise, he looked at the oddly dressed elf, his name was familiar enough to him

“You can call me Remus.”

“Thank you, sir, for honouring Dobby with the name. What Dobby can do for Remus, Mr Lupin, sir?”

“Dobby, how well do you know professor Snape?”

“Dobby knows professor Snape, Dobby is the only elf who want to go to Professor Snape, sir.”

“Can you tell me what professor Snape likes?” 

Dobby looked at the floor but remained silent. 

”Do you know what professor Snape favourite meal is?” 

Elf smirked, looking half worried and half like an angry mother. “Professor Snape avoids food. Dobby has to nag professor Snape to eat. Yes, Dobby knows. Professor Snape loves red meat with cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes, and a glass of elven vine with it.”

“Is it possible to get that for dinner here tonight?”

“Yes, Dobby will bring professors Snape favourite dish.” Said elf happily, and lingered, he looked elf with curiosity.

“Sir, can Dobby ask something, sir?”

“What do you want to know Dobby? Ask away.”

“Will Mr Lupin, Remus, help Dobby to take care of Professor Snape?”

“You Dobby taking care of Professor Snape?”

“Sometimes, yes.” Elf wobbled his head. ”Professor Snape is nice to Dobby, giving Dobby clothes and sickles, and he is a good man, sir. Professor Snape doesn’t take care of himself, Dobby is worried, sir.”

“How do you know that professor Snape is god man, Dobby?”

“He makes medicine, like the one you drink sir, for some poor families. He sends them every month, by owl or Dobby, and he never wants money for it, sir. When Remus, Mr Lupin, was sick professor Snape barely slept or eat. He was sleeping in a chair next to the bed, you sir, you were in professor’s bed. He put you in your bed only one day before you woke up. He didn’t even allow Dobby to take care of you so he could rest. And…”

“Yes, Dobby.”

“When you started to throw-up blood, sir, he was…he cried, sir. Dobby never before saw Professor Snape cry, and he argued with Dumbledore, he never argues with him. Dumbledore is like a father to Professor Snape, sir.” Dobby sighed ”Professor Snape is still weak sir, Dobby is worried.”

“Professor Snape cried in front of you?”

“No sir, Dobby was worrying and watching from where he could not be seen.”

“I will help you Dobby, but it might be smart not to tell professor Snape about this conversation.”

“Oh no, sir! Professor Snape would be mad at Dobby. He would not allow Dobby to take care of him!” The elf looked honestly scared in the prospect of that idea. 

He took two sickles from the pocket and offered them to the elf, but the elf refused

“Mr Lupin, Remus, sir won’t give Dobby money. He will help Dobby take care of professor Snape and Dobby is happy. Dobby will bring dinner at right time sir.”  exclaimed elf and disappeared with a POP.

Looking at empty space Remus was still for a while. Finally, he walked to the armchair and slumped in it. 

The little elf told him, maybe, more than he realized. Certainly, more than Snape would like to. Remus shook his head. 

_ Why in Godric’s name would he cry? _

Feeling torn between content and sensation of pure undiluted guilt, he could not decide what emotion was dominant. Reluctantly he returned to their research.

Around dinnertime, food appeared on the table. It was time for Severus to show up. 


	6. True gentleman never ‘kiss and tell’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**The git**

 

Remus could hear Snape approach down the corridor. He smiled and stood up from table to greet him, he made a breakthrough in their research.

However, smile erupted into belly shaking laughter the moment Snape entered the room. Severus was covered, head to toe, in lime green and pink ooze that was hissing, still bubbling, and releasing puffs of smoke.

“Wha…Merlin…I do not…”

Snape gave him one of his angry glares, marching next to him towards the bathroom. He followed still laughing.

“What happened?”

“That buffoon! If I could - I would ban him from potions for good!”

“Who?”

“Seamus Finnegan!” Squeezed Snape through clenched teeth

“What did you give them to make?”

“Nothing of this sort, and colour.” Hissed Snape. ”That dunderhead is capable of nothing but blowing things up. He has no skill in potion making! He is a disaster in the laboratory!” 

Lupin started to laugh again when blotch of ooze hissed and released another pink puff of smoke. Snape sighed. 

”I’ll be here for dinner soon, I just need to scrub this off.”

“You know, I never met anyone who takes more baths than you do in one day.”

“You mean for a ‘greasy git’ as Weasley nicely pointed out” smirked Snape with a half-smile

“For any kind of  _ git _ ” grinned Remus ”I’m waiting for you.”

 

**The dinner**

 

Washing his hair for the third time Severus tried to calm himself down. He could not bet that all the steam in bathroom originated from hot water. 

Closing eyes he took a long breath, Remus was waiting for him at the dinner table. Surprised with the notion to join Remus in the room, he tossed bathrobe on himself and hurried out of the bathroom. 

_ No need for formalities, mutt might interpret this as the small success of his attempts and stop nagging me. _

Upon his return to the living chamber, only then, he took notice of the dinner table and a set of chess on the small table in front of the fireplace. He inhaled deeply to prevent himself from saying something scratching to Lupin and noticed that the air was sweetly sentenced. Remus waited for him at the table.

“Stop rubbing your hair, it will become fluffy” Smiled Lupin.

“It won’t” He grumbled. 

“Sit down, the meal is suitable for your pallet, I believe.”

“It is, it is my favourite… yes...” He gasped. ”How did you…”

“I have my ways.” Mysteriously smiled Remus

“Remus, what is this? All of this?” He waved his hand in a wide circle, suspicion digging through his brain.  

“I believe that is a dinner. …, Friends usually do take meals together and engage in common activities such as a game of chess. Not that this is as it should be…but I believe that we should not be picky in present situation.”

Snape gawked at Lupin. 

_ What am I supposed to do now? _

This was a new territory for him and Severus felt uncomfortable in his skin. 

_ To hell with this mutt, what am I supposed to do?  _ “Well then….let’s eat.” He cleared his throat

Food was good and they ate in silence. Taste of his favourite meal improved his mood slightly. Munching down last bits from his plate, Severus took a sip of wine, savouring the taste. After they finished their meal Remus insisted that they move to the small table for a game of chess.

Later that night Severus had to admit to himself, this was a pleasant evening. He managed to relax, even enjoy the game of chess. 

It was a long time since Severus Snape enjoyed anything.

 

**The morning after**

 

Waking up next morning, Remus smiled, reminiscing about the evening before. Severus looked relaxed, with a glimmer in his eyes and even a grin when he beat him at chess. 

His heart started to sing, but his soul was icy cold. He realized that this friendship he needed as much if not even more than Severus did. But, how long this is going to last? 6-8 months? No, 6 months at the most, the plenty of time passed already. What will be after that, after their time passes? Most important of all, what then?

_ Will I be able to go back to my old life? To the solitude? Will I be able to let go, and be alone again? _

He sighed and jumped out of the bed. Snape’ calm voice reached him from the armchair.

“We do have to work on that idiocy of an assignment if we are to appear at the staff meeting tomorrow.”

“Do we have to? I did make some breakthrough last night.”

“You will show me, and … yes, we do have to.”

“There is no fun with you, no lazy Sunday over a game of chess?” Remus teased with a hint of true disappointment.

“No, I have no such inclinations.”

As the day progressed, Remus gained a deep understanding of why students disliked Severus. Snape was meticulous, harsh, a true slave driver. But in all honesty, Snape was like that to himself as well as to the others. 

Lupin found himself surprised at first with Snape’ knowledge, but then he remembered - in school, Severus was on the top of the class through all years. He was above Ravenclaw students in grades, excelling in all subjects. What happened later as well as his rare and extraordinary aptitude for potions made people forget how smart he really was.

Of course, the sole topic decided by Dumbledore was not up to the alley with either one of them, which severely influenced Snape’ mood. Remus almost bit his lip to the blood not to laugh when Severus mumbled that evening.

“ _The_ _magical ways to permanently get rid of garden gnomes_ . . . What magical ways? Just whack them hard enough with a bloody stick, that will suffice.”

Severus gave him one of his looks, which caused Remus to erupt in laughter. 

Until the end of the evening, he had to face the fact that laughing at Severus Snape was a crime with the severe punishment. Severus refused to say a word to him if it were not about gardening gnomes.

 

**A gentleman never ‘kiss and tell’**

 

Sitting on the staff meeting, Severus was bored out of his mind, the only remotely interesting thing was that he had to explain how he gave 10 points to Hermione on Saturday due to a fact that only she had semi-decent paper. Shooting darts of poison through his eyes at widely grinning Lupin.

After the meeting was finished, staff separated into the groups. This was the least favourite part of the day for him - unnecessary socialization. At the beginning, he would leave the room immediately, but Dumbledore insisted that he stay. So, he would stay, secluding himself in the corner and look grim. Grim enough for others to carefully avoid him. However, today…

Today looking grim didn’t do him much good. 

He tossed one swift, envious look at Madam Hooch, she was dozing off in her chair. Flitwick, on the other hand, cornered him. 

As it turned out, Flitwick had a passion for garden gnomes. Beaming excitedly about Snape’ participation in new magical developments and blabbing about gnomes. Flitwick didn’t want to budge, even after Severus gave him only monosyllabic answers. 

Giving up and pretending that he listens, he tossed a glance around the room. Minerva and Pomona talked with Lupin. He caught a part of the conversation and felt like all the hair on his body is standing straight.   

“Remus is work all you do?”

“What else could it be Pomona?”

“Well, a bit of romance wouldn’t hurt…” Squealed Pomona ”If you don’t mind me saying so, Remus.”

“Pomona!” Shrieked Minerva ”What are you babbling about?” 

Severus wholeheartedly agreed with Minerva, while he choked on his tea. Remus looked at him.

“Why not?! I’m sorry my boy but I know about you.” Mildly smiled Pomona, patting Lupin’s arm.

“No problem Pomona, it is not a secret.” Smiled Lupin politely. 

“And anyway,” Continued Pomona stubbornly. ”Severus is our youngest member of staff, but he is so alone. It is not good for the boy. I don’t know if he likes men, but if he does… In addition, you Remus, you are such gentlemen. These old walls would not see any harm to see a bit of romance.”

“Oh, Pomona! Shush… poppycock …” Hissed Minerva.

To Severus’ horror, Remus stepped towards Pomona with a very sensitive smile and gently pushed Pomona’s chin up with his finger, looking her straight in the eyes. Pomona blushed. Snape focused his attention on them, pretending still to listen to Flitwick’s babbling. 

He felt a chill running down his spine. 

_ What is going to do now? That fool of a mutt. _

Much to his dismay, even Hooch stopped snoozing and approach two women and Remus.

“Pomona, do you really think that I am a gentleman?” asked Lupin and Pomona nodded, blushing even harder. ”Then why would you expect me to reveal that kind of information? As you are very well aware that true gentleman never ‘kiss and tell’.”

Pomona’s eyes widened. 

Minerva stopped in an attempt to form a sentence and just stood with her mouth open.

Hooch’s eyes darted from him to Remus and back. 

Severus’ mind worked fast, thinking of an excuse to meddle in and stop that nonsense before Remus had any chance to mess things up even worse.

“But, but,…” shuddered Pomona. 

Remus, obviously had a good time, because he grinned and glanced around the room.

“Severus!” called him Lupin. 

_ By my name! I am going to strangle this mutt! _

“Can you please join the conversation, we need your expertise? I am so sorry Filius.” continued Lupin, giving him much needed excuse. 

“No problem, no problem.” Sang Flitwick and with a polite greeting, Severus finally excused himself. 

Forcing himself to walk slowly he approached the group. “My expertise in potions is needed?” He asked calmly.

“No, not in potions. Do you care to explain to these lovely ladies what are we doing in your dungeon…love.” Remus grinned even wider, emphasizing word ‘love’. 

Pomona squealed excitedly, Minerva was still frozen, jaw now fully open. Suppressing the desire to hex Lupin on the spot, he looked at him like he would look a bug on the ground and coldly turned to Minerva.

“I am afraid that proper social etiquette is severely neglected in Gryffindor. I do hope that at least you Minerva doing all you can to change that. As much as it is possible, of course.” Then turned to Lupin ”Professor Lupin, I was under impression that you are at least capable of explaining the basics of our research work, am I wrong?”

“But Severus…” squeaked Pomona.

“Yes?” He raised an eyebrow.  _ Play dumb, and maybe this nightmare will be over soon. _

“He, he called you love!” Pomona’s voice grated on his nerves.

“And he’s looking like he is going to kiss you Pomona,” he replied evenly.

“But, but,…are you?” Stuttered Pomona stubbornly

“Are we…what?” Severus forced himself to sound aloof

“Are you a couple?” Exhaled Pomona, stepping back from Remus suddenly. 

He raised his eyebrows giving her the coldest glare he could muster. “And how exactly is that your problem, Pomona? I do not appreciate this intrusion in my personal affairs, they are not the matter of discussion among school walls. To answer your question, Pomona - I would rather date a garden gnome.”  

Madam Hooch wandered back to her chair. Pomona looked him as if he had suddenly grown another head. Minerva finally managed to snap out of the shock.

“What got into you Pomona?!!” Exclaimed Minerva ”I am honestly sorry Severus, this would not repeat I can promise you that.” 

He nodded in her direction, Minerva paused just for a moment to acknowledge him and then continued. 

”Remus, please, do take care of your behaviour, this was not a funny joke. Consider yourself warned. Come Pomona.” She dragged a smaller witch along as she walked away, blushing. Remus was chuckling.

“Continue with this Lupin and our cooperation will encounter sudden and, for you, very unpleasant end...” He growled suppressing notion to simply strangle Lupin on the spot.

“My sincere apologies professor Snape, this was supposed to be just an innocent joke.”

“Find another target for your jokes Lupin, or suffer the consequences.” He sneered and turned on heel to leave. 

_ To hell with all, I am putting end to all of it. To hell with it! At this point, Azkaban IS a better option.  _

His mind boiled. Marching down the corridor he almost did not hear the footsteps following him. Remus nearly knocked him to the ground in an attempt to stop him.

“Oh common Severus, it was a joke.” Panted Remus grabbing him by the hand, Severus jerked his hand almost losing his footing again.

“Back off, Lupin.” He growled. ”Back off, and save yourself from a hex.”

Lupin ran in front of him and stopped him from progressing. Remus had a silly, almost childish grin. 

“Oh Severus, just enjoy the joke.”

“Funny Lupin, how people who are told that they should enjoy a joke are the one that is humiliated by the said joke. Much like some other jokes, performed by those we both know.” He hissed. Lupin’s face lost a grin, he was serious now.

“I would never do that to someone I consider my friend.”

“No, I presume you would not.”

“I am not as they were” frowned Lupin

“Spending so much time in their company must rub off on you.” He replied icily 

“You are not the ONLY one that could get hurt by that joke, you know. I placed myself well in the middle of it.”

“We are in a hallway Lupin, and I will not discuss that matter here.” Spat Severus and stepped around Lupin, only to be shoved into one of the alcoves. Lupin was casting notice me not, mufilato and few more wards.

“We  **will** discuss this, right now, Severus!” Lupin jerked his head, his eyes burning with anger, uncontrollable anger ”I do not know what ticked you off so…”

“Tell me something Lupin, am I the only person in this school who does not know about your preferences? Did Albus just slip his mind to warn me, or …” He hissed, it wasn’t smart to argue with Lupin at that moment, but his temper got the best of him. 

“Merlin Severus, don’t tell me you are prejudicial!” Suddenly laughed Remus, his facial expression, his whole demeanour changed again. Severus began to worry. ”My … preferences … has nothing to do with you.”

“They bloody are! If you are to reside in my quarters.” He hissed again trying hard not to yell at Lupin.

“Is that what ticked you off?” Lupin looked like he is going to burst into laughter. ”Do not worry, you are not in any danger. You or your reputation. As for my … preferences… I am known to keep my options open.”

“Then you can go and pack your things, the floo is open and you do not…”

“No, I will not! It didn’t seem to bother you, to barge in my bathroom. It was you who wanted to put a collar and a leash and chain me to the wall, was it, just a mere days ago.”

“That was another matter altogether,” Grumbled Snape, Lupin was drifting to anger again.

“I told you I want to be your friend, and we agreed on it. I will not move out. I will not back off.”

“I told you I do not need or seek your friendship, Lupin.”

“It is… REMUS!!!” Suddenly yelled Lupin.

Before Severus had time to realize what is going to happen, Lupin’s fist collided with his left cheek, launching him back to the wall. He raised his wand but Lupin was already storming down the corridor. He mumbled a hex, childish one, rubbing his burning cheek. 

_ What got into him, crazy mutt? He is no better than our students are! No better than our…students? POTION! I have to talk to Albus. _

His mind worked fast, Severus rushed through corridors, this time straight to the Dumbledore’s office. The potion had some nasty side effects.

 

**Punishment to fit the crime**

 

Remus was sitting on the bed, pouting. His hair changing colours from brilliant pink to dark purple to orange, green, lemony yellow and back to pink again. He had to teach classes today, while students giggled looking at his hair. No matter how he tried, he could not remove the hex. He even went to Flitwick, but even Flitwick wasn’t able to help. 

Remus tried to glamour it, but the hex was glamour-proof.

Now, he was sitting on the bed and waiting for Snape, it was his hex - he has to know how to remove it. This did not make Remus happy, for the first time in his life, he got a taste of a very bitter medicine - he was the one on the receiving end of a practical joke.

Anger built up inside him like a roaring avalanche. Snape’s footsteps neared and at this point, Remus was ready to attack. The second Snape entered the room he jumped, growling.

“Turn it back!”

“Merlin, Remus! What did you do with your hair?” Remus noticed with horror that Snape was about to start laughing. Severus’s left cheek was swollen, blue with yellowish border.

“Whatever you did, undo it, Snape, now!”

“Oh, so we are back to last names.” Sneered Snape at him. ”You should have decided on that before you did this.” Snape pointed at his bruised cheek.

“This …this…” Remus tried to choke out, pointing at his hair.

“That . . . is not my doing.” Replied Severus calmly ”I can remove the hiccup if you want.”

“You are the cause of a hiccup too?” He grunted. 

“Only that. Did you hit anyone else lately, Lupin? I suggest you look for him or her and apologize.” Snape raised an eyebrow.

“No, I wasn’t.” 

“Then say thank you to the Weasley twins from me. This does look like one of their pranks.”

“I WANT THIS OFF!!!”

“Not so fond of jokes now, are we? What did you tell me today? - _ Just enjoy the joke _ .” There was a tinge of impatience in Snape’ voice. ”Now if you can stop acting like one of our students for a while we have to talk. Your reaction to potion…”

“I WHAT THIS OFF” Screamed Remus ignoring Severus’s attempt to talk.

“Did you try to wash it off?”

“I did, it started to sparkle” He grumbled.

Snape started to laugh again. Rage pulled like a drape behind Lupin’s eyes. Before he was able to think, he hurled toward Snape and stopped. Tip of the Snape’s wand was leaning on his chest.

“You would not…”

“Try me, Lupin. I’m no mood for your fits today. I will be in the lab.” Coldly replied Snape and turned around.

Lupin looked at departing Severus, confused. 

_ What is going on? _

He didn’t feel like himself. Insane amounts of anger clouded his thoughts, his hands clenched into fists. The rage..., the rage was the same as the one wolf would feel. He could almost taste a bloodlust on the tip of his tongue. 

Breathing deeply he tried to remember what Severus told him about talking, about the second potion. The panic grabbed him. 

_ I’m turning feral!!! _

That evening they did not talk.

**The rumor mill**

In following days, Severus’s mood turned to worse. 

The school was full of drawings circulating around, showing Snape and garden gnome kissing. By the middle of the week, more than half of the students earned detention in Potions.

However, Snape’s foul mood did not influence just their cohabitation but disturbed staff meetings and other Professors as well. Even other staff members started to give detention for those drawings. That week more than a half of school students was in detention. In hourglasses, the number of jewels reduced drastically, the majority of them chunked by Snape himself.

Lupin had a turmoil of his own, his hair was still changing colours, and even Dumbledore did not manage to break the spell. 

Nevertheless, for Remus most memorable thing was that he could hear again fast thumps of Snape’s heart. Fast, so long lastingly fast that he started to ponder on an idea of actually suggesting to Snape to take a potion.


	7. The Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**Passing of the time**

By the end of the week, Lupin’s mood could match Snape’s, and even students started to avoid him. Fits of anger replaced on occasion with uncontrollable outbursts of unfamiliar feeling that ended up with some of not so funny pranks. 

As the moon grew larger, his outburst became more violent, and finally, Albus gave him a week off from classes.

On the night of the full moon, Remus had an easy change, easier than all of them before, not painless but less violent. Much to his surprise, Snape came in the cage room with a book. Placed a blanket on the floor next to bars and seat down. 

Remus felt more like himself. Still, this time Snape did not make adjustments in the wards or pushed his hand.

“I thought you might enjoy this one” Severus waved a book ”It is a Muggle book, the novel as they call them.”

Wolf raised his eyes, silently asking.

“It is called ‘Crime and Punishment’ by Muggle named Fyodor Dostoevsky.” Remus placed his head next to the wards as Snape begun to read. 

He did like the story.

 

**The wolf**

It was the week after the last full moon. Remus regained much of control, even some of his old behaviour in a first two days. Life somehow settled in, at least by appearance, to an old pattern. However, that was not long lasting. 

Severus was in the foul mood. He held a raw piece of meat pressed to his right eye. Tossed one uneasy look with his good eye to stupefied Remus.  

He took a glass and bring it to the lips, tried to take a sip but the cracked lip tinged, he hurled a glass into a roaring fireplace. With a deep sigh, he reflected on the past seven days. Lupin was highly aggressive which culminated tonight during the game of chess. He did not want to ponder on how he grew accustomed to playing chess at evening with Lupin, accompanied by a conversation about change the Lupin’s mind will undergo.

Tonight, however, Lupin did not take, defeat or Snape’s words, in a good way. He launched himself over the chess table with a wild expression on his face and started to pound on Snape with his fists. Strength, agility and glare in the eyes that had the colour of liquid gold scared Snape. 

He tried to reason with Lupin, he tried to push him away. Finally, he used his wand to stupefy him. 

By close examination, Severus deduced that he has a broken rib, decent amount of bruises on his upper body. His face was full of swollen blotches. Levitating Lupin to the bed and casting a binding spell just in case, managed to drag himself to the laboratory and drink the right potions. Of course, Poppy would do a much better job, but Severus did not want to answer questions. 

Finally, he summoned an elf to bring him raw meat, knowing that his bruises will at least lessen the swell a bit.

Disgruntled, he took the bottle, raised it half way true and changed his mind, then hurled bottle to the fire as well. 

_ Crazy old man, he put me in a yet another trouble and disappear.  _

Contemplating on the fact what to do next, he nearly jumped when he heard a gruff voice. The voice that sounded like Lupin’ but not quite…

“Good drink, too bad.” 

Snape looked at Lupin, he was still bound. However,  **what** was on the bed was not Lupin, even if it looked like him.

“Lupin?” he whispered wand in his hand.

“ No, not the boy. Me ” Grumbled creature.

“Who are you?”

“No wand, no hurt, you hurt me - hurt the boy too. Boy calls me a wolf.” The voice was calm but body twitched to release itself. 

Severus was in awe, the second personality... 

_ I had never even suspected that! _

Measuring how strong the holds on the creature are, not really knowing what abilities it possesses.

“So you are the aggressive one?” Finally, he asked.

“No, and yes. Need to talk.” Grumbled the ‘wolf’

“Then talk. I’m not releasing you from the binds.”

“Not gonna hurt again.” Sighed the wolf. ”Needed boy unconscious.”

“Not that I do not trust you, and I do not. However, mangling me once is all I care to experience. Talk or be gone.”

“Hmh, sit?” The wolf asked and Severus used magic to place Lupin into the sitting position. The wolf nodded. ”Talk now?”

“I am listening.”

“You, boy’s friend.” This was a statement.

“No, I am not …boys….friend. I do not care or want to be his friend. My task is to help ‘the boy’, and get rid of him.” Severus was baffled, still pointing his wand at Lupin, he sat down finally.

“Boy think you are a friend.”

“Does … the boy…think at all?” Scoffed Snape.

“Boy think you are a friend. You lie, boy is a friend.” Repeated the wolf. ”You fix boy.”

“Yes. Yes, I have the  _ joy _ of fixing the boy, as you put so eloquently.”

“Boy is scared, scared of me.” Grumbled the wolf, Snape nodded, he could understand that ”You help boy talk to me.”

“He doesn't want to? He should have learned how to do that a long time ago.”

“No host talk to a wolf, the boy is first.” explained the wolf and Severus gasped. ”You help, I help.”

“Let me see if I understand, a werewolf cannot talk to its other personality. Moreover, you want to help me to convince Lupin, erm…the boy…to do so.”

“Yes. Boy trust his friend.”

“I am not his friend. Albus is.” Severus corrected the wolf  _ They are both delusional.  _

“The grey wise one? Not a friend.” Growled the wolf.

“Albus is not a friend?” Severus was almost amused.

“No, not to you, not to the boy.” The wolf was calm.

_ It seems that the second personality has a vocabulary of a caveman but it is also much more perceptive than Lupin ever was. The question is, how cunning the wolf truly is?  _ “This is getting better and better. So what are you suggest to do with Albus?”

“Nothing. Gray wise one, not a friend. He gets the job done.” Snape grinned, he started to like a wolf. Crude but he did seem intelligent enough.

“You know. It is not easy to have two personalities, by our, by boys standards that is not considered normal.”

“I know. I just whisper. I help. Help boy be happy, be alive.” Nodded wolf again. ”We agree?”

“We do. Can I ask...?” Snape waited for the nod and continued. ”Will, the boy, stay this aggressive?”

“No, he stops fighting, he grows up, and he doesn't hurt anymore.”

“You want to tell me this was Lupin…the boy?”

“No, that be me. Needed boy unconscious. Sorry.” 

Snape nodded. “If I want to talk to you, how can I …. summon you?”

“Hurt the boy, hit the boy, not hard, I come”

“I think I’m going to like this.” Grinned Snape

“When boy talks to me, we talk easily.” The wolf frowned. ”Boy wake up soon, I go. Teach the boy, or I come.”

Lupin’ head fell down like a head of the rag-doll. Severus put him down and released his bonds. Picking up the steak and pressing it again on his now fully closed eye, feeling sorry he doesn't have more Firewhiskey.

 

**Do not approach near me**

Remus slowly regained consciousness, familiar tingle in the limbs and throbbing of the head told him what happened. He groaned and mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Did you have to use the spell?”

“You tell me.” Snape’s voice was a growl.

He opened his eyes and turned his head then jumped from the bed, eyes wide in disbelief. Swayed a bit on his feet, the hex was strong, leaving him to feel groggy and unstable. 

“Did... Did I do that?”

“Nooooooooo, Albus did.” Hissed Snape ”He popped up just to mangle me and went on his merry way. Do not dare approach me, Lupin.” Snape pointed his wand at Remus when he tried to get close to him.

“I…I’m sorry, Severus, I never desired…”

“You did, otherwise you would not do it.” Snape sighed ”Why you did not tell me?”

“Tell you what?” Remus sat down on his bed, looking at Snape. The hold of the spell begun to fade away and he felt the rage and fear mixing, shortening his breath.

“Second personality. The wolf. Why you did not tell me about that.” Remus’ hands started to shake, he felt fear pressing at his lungs.

“I…I….”

“So, the ‘brave’ Gryffindor was afraid. Of what, Remus? Did I not tell you to tell me all the changes no matter how insignificant you think they are?”

“I did not want…” Remus flinched as Snape rose from his seat, wand still pointed at him. The sudden jerk of Snape’s body told him that injuries did not end with his face. 

_ Bloody idiot, what did I do to him? _

With firm determination, he stood up and started to approach Snape who stretched his arm with the wand.

“Do not come near me.”

“Then you will have to hex me again. Now, stop being so stubborn and let me help you.”

“You helped enough. I can take care of myself.” Snape tried to back off but his shoulders hunched. 

He nearly jumped to get a hold of Severus. Snape’s breathing was irregular, sounding like hissing. Muscles flinched at the touch.

”What potions do you need?”

“I drank all potions I needed.” Replied Severus through ragged breaths.

“Pain numbing potion too.”

“No, not that one. I do not need it.”

“The hell you don’t.” Growled Remus and gently pushed Snape to the bed. ”Sit there and wait, I’ll bring you the potion and the healing salve. You can ask whatever you want and I’ll answer, but I will help you.”

When he returned to the room, Snape was sitting on the bed, angry, glaring at him. He gave a phial to Snape, who drank half of it.

“Take off your shirt.”

“Did you lost your mind completely?” Snape raised his wand up with shaking hand. Suppressing need to punch Severus once again he snatched the wand and tossed it.

“Take that bloody shirt off, and let me help you. Or I’ll rip it off.” His voice had a sharpness so unfamiliar to him, taking a deep breath he tried to reason his demand, ”I think that you are hurt more than just your face.”

“Do not think that I did not check that myself. I know how to hurt I am.” Snape was still arguing ”I have broken ribs and few more bruises. Nothing I cannot handle.”

“Did you put a binder on those ribs?”

“Are you a medi-witch now?” Growled Severus irritably. 

“Do not argue with me, do not force me…” wolf inside his head was nudging him to use force, and he fisted his hands. ”Well, did you?”

“No.” Sighed Snape ”How on earth do you expect me to? You cannot use magic for bandages.”

“Severus, just let me help you.” 

Snape looked at him for a long moment, the wall in his eyes made out of steel. He inhaled deeply and grinned, a vile grin. One that Remus did not see for a long time.

“What Lupin? You want me out of my shirt. Out of my trousers too?”

“Do not play with my patience, Snape. I have a hard time controlling anger as it is. Just take the bloody shirt off and let me put bandages on those ribs.”

“You have a problem controlling your anger and I should let you near me? I fail to see the reason or logic in your words.”

“Just do it.”  _ Do it before I lose my temper again. _ ”I promise I won’t bother you anymore if you let me help you.”

“I hold you to your word Lupin.” it was a small victory. 

He watched as Snape unbuttoned his shirt. Snape removed his shirt from one shoulder, with a soft hiss, but left it hanging on his left shoulder not even attempting to remove it further.

One look at Snape’s torso, he felt his eyesight blurring. Snape looked like a herd of centaurs stomped over him. 

_ They should lock me up and throw away the key. _

At the lower right side of Snape’s rib cage, there is a ghastly bruised, swollen and deep purple.

“Poppy should look at this.”

“Is it before or after I land you to Azkaban, werewolf?” growled Snape. He flinched. ”Just, be over with and be gone.”

He took a roll of bandage cloth, put as gently as he could salve around the bruise and started to roll bandage around Snape's chest. Snape was silent, not letting a sound even if his muscles contracted on touch.

“Is it too tight?” Snape just waved his head, wordlessly. ”It’s done. Now, try to sleep.” Snape just nodded again and climbed to his bed, placing pillows high. He leaned on the pillows, almost in sitting position and closed his eyes. ”I won’t bother you but wake me up if you need anything.”

“I am not too keen on another round of beating up Lupin, be sure I will not call you at all.” hissed Snape and fell asleep.

 

**Anger**

Remus felt as blind rage is building up again, choking him. He ran to the other room, into the cage, closing the cage door behind and raising a sound ward. Then he started to scream, he screamed until his throat and lungs felt like they were on fire, and he had no more voice.

Tired, he slid next to the wall in silent sobs. He could feel the wolf shifting beneath his skin.

“Damn you.”

_ He’ll live _ whispered the voice in his head

“You hurt him.”

_ He’ll live _ repeated the voice

“I will fight you.”

_ You’ll lose. Listen to your friend. A friend is smart. Friend helps the boy _ The voice was stern and detached.

“I won’t let you hurt him again, anyone. Not if it costs me my life.”

_ Friend won’t allow that. _ Whispered the voice matter-of-factly.  _ You lucky. Friend knows. Friend teach you. _

“You destroyed everything. He hates me again.”

_ No. _

“What do you know?”

_ I know. I see. I smell. Friend protects _ .

Remus closed his eyes. The wolf was right, Snape was protecting him, and he did not go to Poppy because of him. He gritted his teeth.

_ You see, now you know. Listen to friend _ . The voice was gone, leaving him alone with that realization. He clenched his eyes tight and suppress the scream. 

_ I am a danger, danger to Severus, to students, to all around me. All I wanted is to be his friend… _

 

**Albus, your pet werewolf is broken**

Severus woke up slowly, every intake of breath burning as if he is breathing fire. He reached for the phial and drank the other half of the potion. Concentrating for a while, battling the pain. Finally, his mind overpowered his body. At least he could breathe and move more freely now.

He got up carefully, glancing around the room. Lupin’s bed was empty. 

_ That flea-riddled mutt, where is he? _

His ears picked up a faint sound in other room. As much as his condition allowed him, he rushed into the other room. Remus was crumbled in one corner of the cage, face pressed against the wall.

“Lupin. Remus!” He called softly but the other man did not react. He approached him carefully ”Lupin, are you alright?”

Lupin just shrunk more, curling on himself. He tried to pick him up, but the pain was too intense. Lupin still did not show any desire to move. With a sigh, he used his wand to levitate the limp body to the small bed in the other room. As soon as he was in bed, Lupin tucked his head under the pillow. He tried to get near him but Lupin just whimpered and retracted more to the wall, head still stuck under the pillow.

With a sigh, he approached the fireplace and called tossing a floo powder in it.

“Albus, I do not care what you do, just come as soon as you can. Your pet werewolf is broken.” 

He didn’t have to wait long, Albus showed up in a swirl of green light. “What happened to Lupin? Severus! What did you do to him?”

“Thank you for your vote of confidence Albus,” Sneered Severus ”It really warms my heart.”

“What happened?”

“We made a progress. Then he regressed,” Grumbled Severus pointing at the whimpering body on the bed. Albus looked at Lupin than at him.

“He attacked you?”

“I provoked. And no,…Lupin did not attack me. However, the wolf did.”

“It is still far from the moon….” Gasped Albus

“No, Albus, he did not transform. If he did, I would look much better now. The wolf is, well to put it simply, another personality. One that, I wager, Lupin suppressing most of his life. Potion and my provocation drew it out on the surface.”

“Really? Is it…”

“Really.” Retort Snape snarling, he did not call Albus for a chit-chat. ”I can tell you later about my observations, that is not why I called you. He is out of his mind, he does not let me approach him and he does not talk to me. Continuation of things is impossible, and impractical if he continues like this. Talk to him, I will be in my laboratory.”

Turning on a heel he walked away. He did not want to be present for the conversation. Neither for whatever else Albus was planning to do. Leaning heavily on the table, he pinched root of his nose. Closed his eyes and concentrated to fight physical weakness. After some time, Dumbledore walked in.

“Are you alright Severus?” His voice was worried.

“Yes. Did you managed to talk some sense in the stupid mutt?”

“Severus.” Sighed Albus ”I did what I could. Some things he has to work out on his own.”  

“I appreciate your assistance.”

“How are you, Severus?”

“I have been worse on occasions. Nothing I cannot handle. However, I will use some potions in the next few days.”

“How serious are your injuries?”

“Nothing to concern yourself with it.”

“Not even about that bandage around your ribs?” Asked Albus and he winced, noticing only now that he did not button up his shirt, he slept in it and wanted to change it before he was distracted.

“They are broken and they will heal in time.”

“Why didn’t you look for Poppy?”

“And how do you suggest I explain my condition? Albus, I look like a full herd of angry Centaurs stomped over me.”

“You are protecting, Remus now.”

“No, not Lupin. My discovery. I had a nice talk to the second personality last night after I knocked out Lupin. ‘ _ No host talk to wolf, boy is first. _ ’, crude, limited verbal skills, but the wolf can communicate. He wants me to force Lupin to cooperate. Imagine Albus, I am the first to unlock a new chapter about werewolf traits. However, I need Lupin willing to continue, to cooperate.”

“It looks like there is, at least, a part of Remus Lupin that you approve off.”

“Albus imagine the possibilities!”

“Severus…” Albus lowered his voice.

“I have to if you want me to help Lupin. As I recall our conversation from the beginning of this year, you told me that you do not have much use from the feral wolf.”

“If you are sure that you can…but Severus, if you estimate that you are in too much danger…”

“More than I was before, Albus?” He purred ironically.

“All right, I trust your judgement.” Sighed Albus ”Call me if you need more assistance.”

“You will be the first to know.” He watched Albus leaving. Then he took few potions from one shelf, and few from the other. Walking down the corridor to a room, he tossed a look at Lupin. He was lying on the bed, his back turned so he can face the wall, but his head was on the pillow.

_ At least he won’t suffocate himself. _

“I am going to take a bath Lupin, and then I am going to teach. Something you have to do as well. I will not fill in for you this time. When I get out of the bathroom you better let me know so I can notify Minerva to find you a fill in.”

He was in pain and had no desire to play leaning shoulder. If there were, something he could not stand that would be self-pity.

 

**Signature prank**

Remus waited until he heard the water running, then jumped out of bed, dressed in the least wrinkled clothes he could find and found a piece of parchment. Scribbled a note and darted out of the room. He did not want to face… 

_ What I can’t face? Severus or bruises? _

He could not decide.

Stopping in the first-floor student’s toilet to wash his face. Looking at the mirror and his hair, still changing colours, he smacked at the mirror hard, breaking it.

“That is seven years of bad luck. Kekekekekeke….” Sang the thin. eery voice.

“Not in a mood Myrtle.” He growled.

“You never are anymore.” Sniffled Myrtle. ”What are we going to do today?”

“Nothing….wait. Can you go to the Professor's bathrooms?”

“I can go wherever I want.”

“Fine, flood all bathrooms of all professors. Can you do that?”

“If I try very hard.” Sang Myrtle giggling and disappeared. 

Remus looked at his reflection in the broken mirror and grinned. Half an hour later, he was sitting in staff room drinking tea. 

Minerva marched in, her hair dripping, still wet, she huffed greeting and slumped in a chair with a cup of strong tea. Next was Madam Hooch, Flitwick, Charity,... However, when Sybil crept into the room, murmuring shy greeting and sat with a cup of tea, Remus started to giggle openly.

Minerva gave him one stern look then, rose from the chair.

“Remus Lupin! I should have known! If you were, still my student you would be earning a month of detention.”

“I’m sorry Minerva, I just couldn’t ….”

“I do not know what got into you! This hair! Your improper behaviour. Pranks! On the staff!!! I swear, it’s like you are a student all over again.”

“Minerva….”

“And look at your hand, to the infirmary, right now. I’ll inform Dumbledore.” with a stern look she sent him to Poppy. 

Poppy was not so gentle either, grumbling about ”signature work” and ”didn’t miss that type of pranks”. For the rest of the day, most of his colleagues avoided him or glared at him.


	8. Gryffindors’ and guilt do not go together well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**Drastic measures**

Five more days passed. Lupin became masterful at avoiding him. In any other situation, he would be glad to admit that he got his peace back. Only now, that was not the case. He wanted to proceed, he desired to see wolf again, to talk to him.

Severus sipped his tea, looking at Albus over the teacup edge. They were at Albus's’ office, and Snape wondered  _ Do we understand each other? _ Albus was annoyingly calm about the whole situation, giving him advice that led nowhere.

“Give him more time Severus, he will come around and come back to you…”

“Albus you are not a marriage counsellor, and we are not a married couple in trouble. I am a scientist and my guinea pig just run under the cupboard where I can’t reach him.”

“He is not a pet Severus, he is a human, with human feelings.”

“That is a matter of opinion, Albus. Even if he was a human, now he is just a mouse, not even the beast he used to be. Let me ask you Albus, is your precious house magnet for those without a brain?”

“Now, now Severus, who is acting like deserted spouse at the moment?”

“As I recall, I told you that I am not a pet owner. You insisted. Now your precious pet, placed under my care, against my will, run away.”

“Did you tried to reach to him?”

“I might try to put a bowl of water and some kibble if you stop feeding him.” Snorted  Severus

“My dear boy….”

“I am not in a mood Albus. We are running out of time. There are much bigger things I need to do instead of walking on eggshells, trying not to shatter his sensitive feelings.”

“What did he do that so annoyed you, my boy?” Snape glared at Albus, his glares never worked on the old wizard but he could not help himself. 

He placed teacup on the table, reached into his robe pocket and tossed a handful of parchment pieces at the table.

“This bloody notes. I keep finding them everywhere. The last one was at my desk, in my classroom.  **My classroom** Albus. Let me read it to you.” He hissed and picked one scrap out of the pile. ” I am sorry Severus, I still can’t talk to you. I still can’t forgive myself for hurting you. I am not asking you to forgive me either. We will talk, but later. Thank you for all your understanding.  ”

“I do not see anything wrong with it.”

“You do not. What if one of my students found that note?” He felt anger choking him.  _ Annoying old man and his soft spot for idiots and dunderheads. _

“I am sure that he did not think…” Tried Albus.

“He never does, does he?” He croaked. ”At any rate, this is not why I wanted to talk to you. As I stated before, we are running out of time, there is, however, the way…”

“I am listening.”

“You may not like it, but it is something recommended by old documents. We could speed up the … ah, healing…the process, by surrounding him with stones. Specific crystals…”

“That is an old and archaic thing, Severus. I know that medicine still uses it but…this is a different matter altogether.”

“Albus, on this full moon…you know what I plan to do. I would rather not endanger myself more than I need to.”

“How can I assist you?”

“Just, be there, at least at the beginning. I cannot take my wand and I am not too fond of that prospect.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“It is needed. Do you see any other candidates? If you do, let me know and I will gladly step down.”

“All right. Then, the matter is settled. I would ask you, however, to wait just a little bit longer with crystals. I cannot agree to that at this point.”

“As you wish, for now. I am certain that we would have to use that method in the end. Gryffindors’ and guilt do not go together well; they tend to crumble under pressure.”

“Come now Severus, no need for insults.” Chuckled Albus and Severus took his teacup again.

“Day or two would not make much difference, but you talk to him again. If for nothing else, than to stop making the entire staff angry at him. He is worse than Peeves.” Grunted Severus and Albus chuckled again.

 

**Do you want him tame or pregnant?**

Four days later, walking out of the bathroom Snape noticed empty single bed and yet another note. He picked it up and read it, grunting:

“  Leave the potion on the desk, do not wait for me I’ll be late tonight  ”

He took parchment and scribbled something on it.

“Dobby!” Called Severus and elf appeared. ”Can you please bring me these stones? In addition, ask Albus if he can join me.”

“Right away professor Snape.” Smiled Dobby and disappeared. 

With a sigh, he pinched a root of his nose.  _ I told him this would be necessary, now he has to listen. _ Dobby appeared again, handing him a velvet bag

“Mr Dumbledore will be here soon, professor Snape. Shall I bring breakfast here?”

“Thank you, Dobby. No, no breakfast today.”

“Professor Snape must eat, Professor Snape is going to pass if he’s not eating. Dobby will bring breakfast.” Squeaked Dobby and Snape looked at him.

“All right Dobby, but not too much, something light.”

“Right away professor Snape.” Grinned elf and disappeared. When he was alone he allowed himself a moment of slip, looking with fondness at the place where Dobby was standing. That little elf was more like an overprotective mother hen than a servant, and he was grateful for that.

He charmed off linens from Lupin’s bed and placed 10 stones on a bare mattress. Just as he finished the work Albus came through the corridor entrance.

“Severus?”

“Your talk did not do the trick.” He replied instead of the greeting.

“Are you sure about this?” Albus looked at the bed. ”This is not common practice.”

“Nothing is common in this situation. You know as well as I that stones have much more use than just to be additions to potions.”  

“But to use them like this…”

“I’ve told you, Albus, we might come to this. Moreover, to all honesty, I have no time nor will to go slow.”

“If you are sure.”

“Albus,” Severus turned to the old wizard, a stern look in his eyes. ”Do you want your pet werewolf functional or not. If you want him broken than there is no need for him to linger in my quarters. I would welcome return to solitude and privacy.”

“I trust that you know what you are doing, Severus. In addition, from now on you have full freedom to do so.”

“Indeed.” He observed the order of stones once more.

“Are you sure you don’t want to place moonstone on an abdomen position?”

“Do you want him to get pregnant or balanced?”

“Isn’t that Amethyst bit large and too dark? That could knock out a troll.”

“I need sleep and healing Albus, and I am losing my patience with that whining flea-bag that infest my space. Weaker stone and I will jinx him every night only so that I could rest. The choice is yours.”

“And you are sure…some stones do not look in correct order.”

“Albus I am not following that Muggle nonsense you like so much. If this is how ‘full freedom’ looks like - our deal is off. You can hand me to Azkaban, I will go there myself, willingly.” He sneered.

“All right, I trust that you know what you are doing. No need to confirm with me but I would appreciate if you keep me informed.”

“Of course. You just make sure he cannot go back to his quarters and that he has to come back here.” He nodded curtly, Albus left, and he checked order one more time: moonstone, thulite, amethyst, sapphire, variscite, spinel, pyrolusite, rhodonite, vanadinite, and onyx. He nodded to himself and began chanting, seating stones deep into the mattresses. Charmed the linens back on, sighing in relief.

He could not but smile at Dobby’s definition of ‘light’ breakfast. On a small table in front of the fireplace was a full tray. He took a bowl of chopped fruit.

 

**Empas**

Lupin sneaks up in the room, it was late at night. He drank the potion left for him in the laboratory and crept toward his bed looking at the floor. He nearly fell when Snape rose from an armchair.

“You idiotic, fleabag! Sit down we need to talk.” Startled, he looked around like he was searching the way out. ”I have no patience for your childish fits. Sit…down…now.”

Reluctantly, still not raising his eyes from the floor, he sat on the edge of the other chair. Noticing that Snape has a rigid posture as he sat, not leaning but still holding his back straight curtly. He winced.

“Lu…Remus. Look at me.” Snape asked he shook his head. ”So, is this Gryffindor bravery? You can do the damage as long as you do not face it. I said look. At. Me.”

He raised his eyes and looked at Snape’s face. Snape was calm.  _ How does he manage to do this all the time? _

“You can relax Remus I will not hurt you. In addition, there is a way, which can assure that you will not hurt me, anymore. However, you have to agree to it, both of you have to agree.” Snape’s voice was a bit softer than he expected. However, on the mentioning of his other personality, he hunched his shoulders. ”Remus what I am about to do, If you agree, is….”

Remus finally lifted his head. Snape looked almost bored. He felt tense, Snape was not the one to stop sentence in the middle. 

_ Listen, friend, he helps. _ Whispered voice in his head. 

His throat was clenched and dry but he nodded, Snape relaxed a bit.

“It is an old and relatively unexplored branch of Legilimency. I would have to create a … link… between your mind and mine. It is like…trigger word… that would stop you in case you start to act violently again.”

“And you are good in Legilimency?” Asked Remus sheepishly, Snape just smirked, “Did you done that before?”

“No.”

“Is it ever done before?”

“Yes,…with more or less success. Albeit not that often. If done improperly, consequences are…disastrous for both sides.”

“Are you sure….”

“You are a true image of bravery, Lupin.” Smirked Snape ”Do you believe that I would suggest something like that if I am not sure that I can do it?”

“Yes, yes you are …” He mumbled, more so he would say anything than to give a reply.

“That is why I need your consent, both of your consents. Entering one’s mind in this way is not…” Snape paused as if he is considering what phrase to use which made him nervous ”…it is just different. It is not common Legilimency practice, in fact, I am sure that no one tried these for a very long time. To create a permanent link, I need to have free accesses, and you have to agree. Both of you have to agree. I will not be able to read or influence your thoughts, nor do you mine.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Whispered Remus.  _ I allow, trust friend. _ ” I…we agree, both of us.” He squeezed out, feeling as if he is losing his mind. 

Constant whispers and persistent, nagging voice in his head created pressure and forced him to feel angry.

“I swear to Salazar, Lupin, even Potter has more backbone than you do!” Hissed Snape ”You are what you are, be honest at least with yourself, and accept it. Gryffindor’s and double standards.” Spat Snape, disapproval and scorn written clearly all over his face.

Lupin looked at him, blinking, not understanding fully why Severus is so angry with him.  _ Friend is smart _ , whispered wolf. He sighed

“When we are going to this?”

“Tonight, in short time, I need to prepare myself.” Snape stood up and walked from the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

 

**My mind - your mind**

Walking into his laboratory Snape tossed one swift glance to a calendar, counting how much longer he will have to endure all this. Lupin’s erratic, almost childish behaviour annoyed him. He almost longed for days when they played chess having semi-intelligent conversations.

_ The fleabag mutt was much more bearable then. _

With a sigh, he picked up old, almost ancient, parchment and started to read. When he read through it a couple of times, he placed a parchment on the table and leaned on the wall, closing his eyes. 

Excitement filled him up. 

What he was about to do was not done in more than 500 years. Taking a few deep breaths, wincing slightly when broken ribs started to sting, he moved away from the wall. Clearing his mind from all thoughts he walked back in the room.

Lupin was still in the armchair, staring into the fire.

“Remus, it is time.” Lupin jerked his head towards him. Indecisive and stern look in his eyes, at the same time.

“Tell me what to do.”

“Do not resist.” Lupin nodded and he pointed his wand at him mumbling softly ”Legilimency”. 

Once he was in Lupin’s mind, he felt slightly dizzy. Two sets of thoughts and memories were not easy to overcome. He pushed them away, this time he did not want to see or know. 

HE searched through layers until he found what he was looking for - a light silvery line, no thicker than a strand of hair. He began to build link connected to the silver strand. He took his time, careful not to disturb anything else. 

Severus could feel the wolf, observing but not interfering. 

Half an hour later he pulled back and weakly stumbled to the chair, slumping in it. Severus could feel the sweat dripping between his shoulder blades. He looked at Lupin, who was still breathing heavy.

“How do you feel?” He asked.

“Same.” Blinked Lupin. ”Should I feel any different?”

“Only if I made a mistake. Let us rest ” He grumbled and walked to the bathroom, picking up his nightshirt and a house robe.

Severus turned the water on the shower and stand beneath it, letting the water wash away the feeling of weakness. He closed his eyes, inside his mind, he could feel the link, he had a need to fiddle with it, much like a tooth that is in pain. He wondered what the full potentials of the link were, scroll just hinted more. He was anxious to explore it, but still uncertain of the consequences.

“Severus?” he turned around, pain cut him in half. He pressed his left hand on his ribs and stretched a right hand toward Lupin. Lupin was in the bathroom, looking confused and not sure whether to help or not.

“ **Lupin! What are you doing here!?!** ”

“I just wanted….”

“GET OUT!”

“Do you need help?” Lupin made a step toward him.

“ **Don’t you dare come near me, get OUUUUUUUUUUT** !!!!”

Lupin just looked at him, with hurt in his eyes and walked out. He slides against the wall, sitting on the shower floor, panting heavily from pain and anger. He slowly got up and turned off the water. Dried himself and dressed. Severus conjured a phial of pain-numbing potion and drank half of it, waiting to take an effect.

When he entered the room, Lupin was on his bed, looking like he is sleeping. With a heavy sigh, he lied down and mumbled  _ Nox _ .

“Severus…”

“What is it Lupin…ermmm…Remus?” He grumbled fighting a notion to get up and strangle Lupin.

“What is the word?”

“The word?”

“Yes, the word that will stop me.”

“Why? Does it matter?”

“I have to know if someone…”

“Lupin…” He sat in bed. ”Lumos. Lupin, the link is between you and me, not you and the whole wizarding community.”

“Oh! I see. Thank you, Severus.”

“Can we sleep now?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, Severus.”

“Just, sleep. Nox.” He was on the end of his nerves. ”Lupin.”

“Yes?”

“ _ Prohibere _ , that is the word.”

“Thank you, Severus.”

“Yes. And, Remus….”

“Mhm.”

“If I see you in the bathroom once more, while I am in there, you are dead. Did I made myself clear?”

“Perfectly.” Snickered Lupin.

Room was quiet now. 

He closed his eyes and focused on the link. He could sense vibrations from crystals through the link. Soon he sunk into a slumber.


	9. I will survive this as well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

###  **Angry elf and grumpy wolf**

###  A few days later Remus could honestly say that he was feeling better. 

###  Severus managed to persuade him to make a truce with his other personality. 

###  He did not have a problem with controlling outbursts of anger. In addition, he even on few occasions allowed Severus to talk to the ‘wolf’. He felt almost jealous - Severus was much more pleasant and polite towards the wolf, to the point where two of them reached a sort of a mutual understanding.

Today he had classes only in the morning, upon a return to dungeon he decided to work on their research. He was surprised how much of it Snape already did. Reading through Snape’s crumpet handwriting, he felt thirsty.

“Dobby… Dobby”

“What Mr Lupin need?” Asked elf popping out of thin air.

“Can I have some lemonade, please?”

“Yes.” Elf disappeared, but moments later he appeared again. A full pitcher of lemonade levitated for a second above his head, before all contents poured on his head. ”Your lemonade, Mr Lupin, sir.”

“Dobby!” He yelled, jumping away from the table. ”Bloody hell!”

“Do, Mr Lupin, wants something else?”

“What did I do to deserve this Dobby?” He asked but elf disappeared. ”Dobby, come back here and explain yourself.”

“You lied to Dobby.” Squeaked elf, appearing again. ”You promised, and then you hurt Professor Snape. You are a bad man, Mr Lupin.”

“Dobby did you do this to my hair?”

“Yes.” Big eyes of the elf were angry and spiteful.

“Can you turn it back?”

“Yes, Dobby can.”

“Will you turn it back?”

“No!” Shrieked Dobby and disappeared again.

He started to laugh. Changed his clothes to dry ones and sat in a chair.  _ Well, I did deserve that.   _

_ Maybe _ , whispered voice in his head.

“What do you know?”

_ Friend don’t hit friend,  _ stated voice.

“It was yours doing.”

_ No. I protect friend. _

“You beat him up!”

_ I needed to talk.  _

“I hate you.” Squeezed Remus

“Remus, my boy…” He jumped on a sound of Albus’s voice. ”Are you alright?”

“Yes, I was,… just talking to myself.”

“With a ‘wolf’? Yes, Severus informed me. It is all good.”

“Yes. Sit down Albus, I’ll make us some tea.”

“You can call for a house elf.” Offered Albus taking the other armchair.

“I’d rather not. Dobby is angry with me.”

“Ah, yes. Dobby developed quite a soft spot for Severus.”

“I can tell, he did this with my hair and he refuses to turn it back. I’m afraid I will be forced to go through my life like this.”

“Not necessarily,” Chuckled Albus. ”Did you try to ask Severus to talk with Dobby?”

“No, no, I did not.”

“You should. You should consider yourself lucky, better Dobby than Severus’ family.”

“His family?”

“Not that they care about him much, but they would use him as an excuse to bring you down.”

“What do you know about his family, I was not sure that he has it.”

“We all have family Remus. People do not just appear out of thin air.”

“I know but he never talks about them.”

“No, I imagine he does not. Did you ever asked him.”

“I did not. I am asking you now.”

“My dear boy, it is not my story to tell.” Albus dismissed further conversation about Severus and switched to more mundane, and less interesting, topic.

 

**You are staying with me**

His back cracked as he straightened them. He and Remus were crunched over the table covered with books and scrolls since dinner. Their paper, as idiotic as it washes had to be done. Remus was frowning, reading one of the books lent to them by Professor Flitwick. Suddenly, the sound of bells chimed through the corridors and filled the room.

With a silent look, they run to the hallway, where almost entire professor’s body gathered. Students poured from all the sides too. Between echoing bells and the babble, the noise was almost stunning. They pushed through the mass of students. Dumbledore’s voice, enhanced by spell boomed.

“Prefects lead all students to their dorms and stay there. Your Heads of the house will inform you when students can leave their houses again. No students in the hallways. Professors follow me.”

The crowd exploded in motion. Students started to dissipate, hoarded and nudged by their house Prefect. He and Lupin moved with professors, waiting for Dumbledore to join them. Old wizard approached and cast a glance at them.

“Professors break into pairs and search the hallways. You two, follow me.” He turned to them. 

They followed him back to the dungeons, Albus looked angry. When they entered Snape’s quarters, he turned to them.

“I believe I told you two if something is going on you are about to stay in here.”   

“What is going on Albus?” Cut him off Snape, he did not have the patience for the lectures. Dumbledore looked at him and sighed.

“Sirius Black is on the school grounds” Before either of them managed to react Remus darted out of the room. 

He moved to follow but Albus placed a hand on his shoulder and mumbled something. Suddenly, sharp pain in his stomach forced him to bend, nearly knocking him to the ground.

“Bloody hell Albus.” Groaned Severus angrily. ”Did you have to make me an anchor?”

“I believe he is at the end of the hallway.” Smiled Albus ”I…”

“No!” He straightened ”I will bring him. You go, find him, Albus, find him and save me a seat for the Kiss”

With the long strides, fighting the waves of pain ripping from his stomach through the whole body he hurried down the hallway. Remus was near the staircase, curled in a ball, wailing in pain. None too gently, he grabbed Remus by his collar and dragged him on the feet.

“You are coming back, and staying in a room with me.” He growled through clenched teeth ”I’m sick of the humiliation, sick of  the pain and most certainly sick of you.” Severus hissed tugging pale Remus back to his quarters. Albus was nowhere to be seen. He slammed Remus in the chair ”Just try to go again, and it will be the last thing you will do.”

“So what, are we just going to sit here?”

“Obviously.”

“Severus I have to…”

“Have to what?” He snapped at Lupin ”Save him?”

“Save?” Remus jumped on his feet ”He  _ killed _ my best friends! I lost all in one night! Do you honestly believe I want to save him?”

“I. Do not. Trust. You.” Hissed Severus. 

The remnants of pain still ripped through his body. He would sell what's left of his soul to be able and find Black himself and deliver him to Dementors personally. Instead, he sat confined to his quarters with Remus.

“So what are you suggesting we do?”

“Play chess.” He pointed at the chess set on the table. 

They moved to the armchairs, he was still fighting pain, keeping his demeanour as calm as it was possible. Remus was still groaning at every move, clenching in pain. ”You are Withe.”

“Ok I can’t go without you, but why are we here? Why are we not out? Looking?”

“Because I do not trust you.”

“He betrayed my friend. They are dead because he sided with Dark Lord. I am the one who should distrust you.”

“Me?” he raised an eyebrow ”Siding with Black?”

“No, that is not what I meant.”

“Then,  _ please _ , explain.” Hissed Severus poured all the poison he felt into word please, turning it into its opposite. ”Just what are you trying to say Lupin?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think I know what I’m trying to say.” Sighed Remus

“At least you admit. Your move.” Coldly replied Severus, pushing the anger and the humiliation in the far corner of his mind. Not willing to admit even to himself how hurtful distrust of others was to him. 

_ You made your choices; you live with them, _ he thought sourly.  

Time melted. 

He could barely concentrate on the game. The moon was high when loud knocks echoed through the room. Door bang loudly and call echoed through his workroom.

“Professor Lupin!” Before either one of them managed to get up Potter boy barged into the room. He swiftly stepped in front of him.

“Mr Potter, did anyone thought you the basics of a proper behaviour? What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to Professor Lupin!”

“Potter, you are outside your dorm during curfew. I believe that is 50 points from Gryffindor. You entered private quarters of a professor without an invitation. I believe that is another 70 points. Let me see... That is 120 points in one go. Must be the new personal best, Potter.”

“But you don’t understand!”

“Leave.” He hissed.

“Professor Lupin he is innocent, he didn’t betray them! Peter Pettigrew was the secret keeper. Professor, you have to go with me…”

He grabbed the boy’s shoulder tossing a warning look at Lupin that seemed stunned.

“You are not going anywhere Potter, not until I find someone to escort you to your Common room. Lupin, call Filch or whoever you find available.”

“But professor, we have to help…”

“Help Potter? Aiding an escaped convict now? That would be a reason for your expulsion for sure.” He snarled at the boy. Lupin finally moved to call someone when Dumbledore burst into the room.

“Harry is missing …” He stopped looking at him still holding a little menace. ”Oh, I see you found him.”

“I do hope that you will punish him accordingly Headmaster.” Squeezed Severus through clenched teeth, pushing Potter towards Dumbledore.

“Yes,..”

“See that you do. Oh, and Potter…that is two weeks of detention in Potions as well.  **If** you stay a student that is.” He curled his lips into a cruel smile. 

_ I am probably stuck with him in detention,  _ he thought somberly, knowing that Albus won’t lift a finger to punish little brat.

Finally, Albus left his room, Potter tailing behind, looking at Remus still pinned at the spot, silent as a statue.

“Lupin…” he called and another man flinched, suddenly darting towards the door ”Prohibere !” Lupin froze on the spot for the second time this evening ”And what do you think you’re going?”

“If it’s true …” Started Lupin and he turned to him, shooting all the poison he felt in his glare.

“It is not! And the only time you are going to see your…” He stopped raising an eyebrow, pouring all disdain he felt in the next question ”… what was he exactly to you?”

“That is a question I won’t even answer to.” Lupin sounded discussed and he croaked a short laugh drawing at least small amount of satisfaction from his reaction.

“Well, one is never too sure with you. Now, are you going to run or did you change your mind? I can just leave you like this until the fuss is over.”

“You are a cruel man, Severus.”

“I like to think that I am pragmatic. For DADA professor you are quite a thick Lupin if you did not by now figured out what type of spell Albus used on us. I am in no particular mood for more pain. Are you?”   

“But if you come with me…”

“It would not do any good. We are space-bound as well. Now, do you want to be a decoration or finish the game, it is up to you.”

“I’ll finish the game.” Sighed Lupin

“Liberate” he mumbled, carefully keeping an eye on Lupin, and positioning himself between the exit and Remus. 

When he was sure that Lupin would not run again, he sat in his armchair. Focusing more on the link than on the game. He could detect small vibrations through the link, faint echo of emotions not his own. Making a mental note for further research, he tried not to think about Black, Potter and his current situation. 

_ I survived the war and trials, bloody hell I survived this school I will survive this. _

 

**Curiosity killed the cat**

Two days passed since that night. 

Even if the question about Snape’s family nagged him, he didn’t press the matter, trying to figure out the best approach to ask Severus about them. 

Snape was in the class and he was just reading a book waiting to continue the game of chess from last night. Trying not to think about the argument, they had about Sirius. With Snape some topics were like stepping on a minefield, his explosive temper did aid to it. Sirius was still at large and he hoped that Snape would not manage to find him first. However, in all honesty, life did back to what it was before. 

_ We argued, and I did not attack him, that is a progress. _

He almost congratulates himself. Not wanting to think about the moment when Snape had to use the link for the first time, an unpleasant feeling of instantly freezing in motion. Remus still had a hard time understanding why Severus could not forgive Sirius if he could overcome his hostility towards him.

Snape turned out late, grumbly and moody.

“We can finish our game tonight” he offered

“Later, I have to look at the potions.” snapped Snape at him

“May I ask you something?”

“What? If it is…”

“No.” He cut Snape’s sentence.”Why are you making so much Wolfsbane?”

“I make as much as I need to...”

“You are making a batch for me, and at least three more batches of plain one. Why?”

“Mind your own business Lupin.” Snarled Severus at him.

“Do you sell it?”

“That is not of your concern.”

“Maybe I want to know if you are available if I need it later in life.” He replied quickly.

“You could not afford my rates.” Hissed Snape.

“Most of us can’t.” He replied, listening to fastening heartbeats. ”Liar. I live here long enough to know, no money ever changed hands.”

“And…” Snape finally turned to him and raised one brow.

“I’m just wondering, are you that rich, to give away Wolfsbane? Ingredients alone cost a fortune, not to mention the work.”

“Why are you so convinced that I am the one who pays for ingredients, or that I am not compensated for my time and skill?”

“I am sure that you are not. So, are you that rich?”

“I am better off than you are.” Taunted Snape.

“Albus told me not to cross your family.” He decided to take a new approach. 

“Albus talks too much.” Growled Snape. 

“I want to know about your family.”

“That is a private matter. Stop prowling, Lupin.” Hissed Snape

“That is something a friend would know.”

“And when did we became friends, Lupin? When you hit me, or when you broke my ribs?”

“I…I…” He stuttered, Snape was right, even Dobby was angry at him ”I am truly sorry, Severus.”

“As you should be. At least you learned how to apologize for the right things. In half an hour I will be here, try not to move my figures again Lupin, I placed a hex on a chessboard.” Coldly answered Snape leaving the room. 

Severus stopped at the door for a second and then disappeared into a hallway. On the bookshelf one of few rare drawers clicked open, slightly popping out. He was looking at it for some time trying to decide if this was an accident or not.

_ Curiosity killed the cat, it may as well kill the wolf.  _

He decided and hastily approached the drawer. It was full of papers and documents. He Touched it carefully, as if it might snap at him and bit him, but nothing happened. With a curiosity, he opened it completely and plunged in its content.

On the top of the pile were documents from the trials after the war, he discarded them, most of it was public anyway. 

Few children drawings and in one transparent plastic case few dried leaves and flowers, preserved with a strong spell, along with Hogwarts invitation letter. He carefully placed them aside, they looked important to his host. 

The next documents were a bunch of Muggle police and medical reports, dating from before they even started school and going almost all through their school days. The majority of them was proof of domestic violence. Eileen’s and Snape's names repeatedly mentioned in them. 

Few Muggle photos of a woman with jet-black hair, her features reminded Lupin at Snape. 

_ His mother. _

One ripped photo, Snape was on it, no more than five years old, and the woman was standing next to him, holding his shoulder. More than few bruises in different stages of healing visible even on black and white photo. Someone was removed, ripped from the photo. 

_ His father, _ he realized. 

Next were the documents dated nearly to the end of their time at Hogwarts, 6th year, Muggle mortuary report on deaths of Eileen and Tobias Snape. Remus put off those documents as well. 

On the bottom was a letter from a solicitor, informing Snape that he could take his place and name with his mother’s family if he accepts conditions. Frantically he read the document. 

_ Merlin! Prince! Snape’s mother was a Prince! _

Attached to it was polite but cold refusal letter from young Severus. He could use all the benefits of the old and respected pureblood family name. He had no love for his father that is obvious. 

_ Why would he deny himself of protection from his mother’s family as well? _

In addition, one short note that both of his last names were written into family books in the secrecy even against his wishes, dated years later, near the end of the First War. 

_ After he became a Death Eater, beneficial yet undetectable connection. _

This was never mentioned in trials. He detached himself completely from his Muggle and wizarding heritage.        

Remus returned all the papers in the order he found them. Closed the drawer, walked to the armchair and sat looking into the fire. He remembered wanting to ask Snape about the scars, now he was not so sure he wanted to know. Even if his childhood was far from perfect, bits and pieces he just saw… 

_ And we made a living hell out of school for him too! _

Lupin closed his eyes, reflecting on his actions from the moment he meets Snape, until now.

“Are you going to sleep or we are playing chess?” Remus nearly jumped at the sound of Snape's’ voice. Once again, he felt like screaming looking at bruises on Snape’s face. ”Well? Look, Remus, I do not have all night. Some of us still teach.”

“Yes, we are playing.” Mumbled Remus, ignoring the insult, Snape sat in his armchair and looked at the chessboard, making his move. Remus cleared his throat ”I figured out who did this to my hair”

“Which house deserves points from me?” Asked Snape sounding almost amused.

“Dobby.” He grinned, Snape looked at him then started to laugh but suddenly laugh turned into a cough as he grimaced.

“I have to buy him a set of tea cosies. Since you are still with the same problem, I take it that he refused to remove the spell.”

“That he did.”

“Dobby is the kindest natured elf I ever met, what did you do to cross him?” Snape was amused.

“Apparently, I hit you.” Smiled Lupin sheepishly, and Snape looked as he was fighting to suppress laughter.

“I have to make up to Dobby. I am guessing now Remus, you want me to talk to him and ask him to turn your hair back to normal?”

“If it’s not too much trouble for you.”

“I will think about it. Your move.” Grinned Snape. 

Lupin looked at him, Snape seemed to be in a good mood, as much as Snape could be in a good mood. 

_ At least he is laughing again. _ He wondered if Snape ever figured out that, he is doing that?  _ And if he does, what does that mean? _

They played a nice game of chess in silence.


	10. In cage with a werewolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**Love potion mishap**

His head was pounding. Classes were a disaster. 

A second-year Hufflepuffs smuggled food that fell into a cauldron causing a volatile reaction. The sixth-year Slytherin tried to brew Amortentia in secrecy while working on potion he gave them as a task, resulting in absolute disaster and puff of smoke that caused unlikely couplings among Advanced Potions students. 

The whole class was sent to the Infirmary, and he was happy that he did not do anything inappropriate considering that he inhaled fumes as well.

He smirked, at least one good thing happened today. He entered his quarters, longing for a long soak and maybe a game of chess or a good book. All his hopes dispersed when he nearly stumbled on Remus, looking grim. He sighed. 

_ Today I really cannot catch a break, _ thought when Remus shoved him to the nearest bookshelf blocking his way.

“Remus, I am in no mood today.” 

Remus gave a deep intake of breath and he started to worry.

“You. Lied. To. Me.” Growled Remus, sniffing the air. 

Snape looked at him, he felt tired. With a hint of panic, he realized that his clothes are probably soaked in fumes. Sliding a wand in his hand, he checked the link, even if he could not read thoughts, the link did provide him with an echo of emotions. He relaxed a bit, sliding back his wand, Remus was just angry - he could handle angry.

“You repeat yourself, Remus. Found more phials in my workroom?”

“I found part of your wall missing. I found this letter on your desk.” Remus angrily stepped away and waved a parchment in the air, then sniffed air again. 

Snape hastily stepped away from Remus putting as much space between them as possible without raising a suspicion. He stared at Lupin with an angry glare.

“Who gave you permission to rummage through my personal correspondence?” Snape felt murderous, he was truly annoyed. In all honesty, annoyed at himself for forgetting to put wards on his table than at Remus ”You violated my trust and went through my personal things. Or is this your idea of ‘friendship’ you try to inflict on me. You are angry at me!? You flea riddled filthy mutt.”

Forgetting why he backed away, with each word, he made a step closer towards, now backing Remus, wand in hand. Remus was retreating still wearing stubborn look on his face.

“You lied again, you told me that you don’t have friends.”

“I told you I do not need friends, you mutt.” hissed Severus

“But you have friends, at least one!” shouted Remus.

“You think Macnair is my friend?” He suddenly started to laugh. 

_ This day is just too long _ . 

He summoned Firewhiskey and a glass, poured a half of the glass and sit in the armchair. 

_ If I stay standing I will curse this mutt to oblivion. _

“You told me that ‘decorations’ were yours!” protested Remus

“I did no such thing.”

“Not in so many words, but…”

“As usually Remus, you assumed. That is what you do - you assume and you jump to conclusions.” He retorted coldly.

“You have correspondence with your friends.”

“I have no need nor desire to justify to you what I do or not do. That is my private matter.”

“A friend would know.”

“As I told you before, I have no use of friends, Remus, stop insisting on impossible.”

“ _ Severus, thank you for safe keeping my collection. I am in debt to you. Your faithfully Walden _ . What do you call this?”

“A letter.  **Mine** letter, one that you had no business reading.” Remus sighed, poured himself a drink and occupied the second armchair. 

Snape gave him a swift glance wondering  _ Why I am sitting here? Why I do not hex into oblivion his miserable scruffy… _

“I don’t understand.” Remus sounded broken.

“What is so incomprehensible to you? Besides the concept of privacy, that is.”

“If you were not his friend, why would you keep his collection?”

“He owes me a favour now.” He shrugged  _ Why he is incapable of understanding such simple things as this? _

“And you are certain that you can…collect?”

“Most presumably so. Why would I otherwise did such a thing?”

“‘Most presumably so”? If he owes you, why would not fulfil his obligation?”

“That depends, what I ask and when. He will go for the most beneficial request, of course.”

“Most beneficial request?”

“Lupin you are turning into an echo. Will you get to the point anytime soon?”

“How can you claim that you do not have a need for friends when you don’t know what true friendship is?”

“Oh! Then you must be claiming that you do know?” Snape regarded him with the sarcastic look and a smirk.

“As a matter of fact, I do. I had friends, good ones’.”

“If you want to name Potter, Black and Pettigrew do not even bother. They were your friends same as I am. I retract that, I would even go as far as to claim that I am a better friend to you than they ever were. And I am  **not** your friend at all.”

“You base your opinion on…?” Grumbled Remus through gritted teeth.

“On facts.” He hissed ”Was Black your friend when he sent me into your den? Was Potter your friend when he chose Black and Pettigrew (as we now know) over you as a Secret Keeper? Was that excuse of a human being when he sold all of you out? If that is what you call ‘true friendship’ than I do not see how anyone would want friends at all. Admit at least to yourself Lupin, you never had them as ‘true friends’. You were just new, exciting and dangerous toy.”

“Do you consider Macnair, Avery, Malfoy and all the lot a ‘true friends’.”

“Unlike you, I never dawdled myself on illusions. Macnair works at the Ministry, it is a low position but useful one nonetheless. He is useful.”

“But that is…how can you be even in contact with him? He’s so…Slytherin.”

“ **I am a Slytherin** !” Snape rose from the armchair, towering Remus threateningly ”A Head of Slytherin House. And you are  **my** … ah, let’s call you an unwanted guest… in  **my dungeon** .”

“I know that…”

“Do you? I wonder.” He paced to the bookshelf, his head was throbbing. He gripped one board in an attempt to prevent himself from seriously injuring Lupin. His heart racing, threatening to collapse him any moment.

“I’m sorry for upsetting you this much Severus. Yes, you are right, I do tend to forget that you are Slytherin.” Murmured Lupin, Snape snapped his head at him.

“That is a mistake you out not to make, not if you want to keep your life.” He hissed. Remus was rubbing his forehead tentatively.

“I have a headache.”

“Oh, joy! We are sharing now!” He stated, curling his lips into a disgusted smile. He approached the small table and downed his drink. ”I am going to take a bath Remus, try not to touch anything that arrived. Not if you value your life.”

“Another batch of hexed things?”

“No, this time the pleasure will be all mine.” He gritted his teeth and walked away.

In the bathroom, he summoned a pain-numbing potion and drank the whole phial. Severus just started to remove his clothes pondering on the idea to incinerate them, when suddenly he became aware that he is not alone. Turning around he saw Remus standing on the bathroom door sniffing the air.

“You smell…funny.”

“What did I told you Lupin. GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM!!!” he bellowed, but to his horror, Remus stepped in.

“You do smell funny, not your usual self.”

“It is disturbing enough that you know how I … smell. Leave the bathroom. Lupin. Now!” 

But Lupin was advancing slowly sniffing the air, annoyed he mumbled ”Prohibere”. 

Lupin froze on the spot.

“You suppose to use the link to stop me from harming you, you know.” Purred Lupin and Snape growled, levitating Lupin outside the bathroom

“As I am. I am preventing you from permanently damaging my mind. Image of you making advances to me is not a nightmare I am looking forward too.”

“I’m not making advances to you. You just smell…”

“ENOUGH!!!” He yelled and closed the bathroom door, warding them. 

He leaned heavily to the door. Angrily removed the rest of the clothes and mumbled  _ Incendio _ watching them burn.  _ This is why Potion Masters do not have roommates _ , he sighed,  _ Two more full moons, just two more. _

Standing under the shower, he released Lupin of the links holds. While Lupin banged on the door, he leaned a forehead on the stone, banging it softly against a hard surface, certain that no amount of potion could help him with his headache now. 

Disgruntled, suddenly realizing that tonight he would have to sleep in the bathroom. Tossing a glance at his left forearm he sighed. 

_ I should've used this smartly, like finding myself nice quiet cell in Azkaban. Choosing ‘the right side’ my eye, it only landed me in this predicament _ , he lamented while hammering in his temples increased.   

 

**I refuse**

Few more day passed. 

Standing in the laboratory Remus was darting his eyes from Snape to Dumbledore and back. He could feel the shivers, but he could not tell if it is fear or anger. Snape was adamant in his decision and Dumbledore seemed to support it. 

_ Are they both gone insane?  _ “No, I refuse. Severus if anything,  **anything** goes wrong,…are you aware of the consequences?”

“Since, I was in the sixth grade.” Replied Snape calmly and Remus winced.

“Yes, and since that went so well for you, what? You want to repeat the experience.”

“Remus, I would not repeat the experience. You are under the influence of two strong potions, that I brew myself. I am quite confident in my potions and my skill. Besides, I would not be alone Albus will be with us.”

“If I attack you…”

“I am in no bigger danger than when I was putting my hand in your cage. One bite, one scratch would suffice.”

“My boy…” Tried Albus but he cut him off….

“Severus, I know we became friends,…”

“Wishful thinking does not make it so Remus.” Sighed Snape ”More to the point, your agreement is not needed. There is no need for your agreement. Honestly. Albus, we  will proceed as planned.”

“I refuse…”

“Remus, you can save yourself a trouble and agree. Alternatively, I can force you to it. It is up to you to decide, given the options. If you are going to excuse me, gentlemen, I have some preparations to make.”

Severus turned on the heel and walked out of the room. Remus looked at Albus, hoping that at least old wizard is going to see the reason.

“Albus, if I… if you don’t react on time…”

“My boy, I trust Severus without any doubt. You should too.”

“I trust him,” he exclaimed irritably, Albus looked at him half-amused ”I do not trust myself.”

“I believe that Severus has a way of … controlling you. He would not put himself in danger…”

“But don’t you see Albus? He would! He would do exactly that.”

“Let me rephrase that, Severus is not a man who would put himself in danger without having an escape plan.”

“Couple a months ago I’d agree with you but now…, if I learned anything about Snape is one thing…for him danger is an invitation, not a barrier.” he signed. This was a lost battle but he still had a need to fight.

“He does have more of Gryffindor traits than one would presume.” chuckled Albus ”Don’t dismiss the fact that Severus is still Slytherin, first and foremost.”

Voice in Remus’s head whispered.  _ Trust a friend. We won’t hurt a friend. _ Remus sighed.

“I refuse to go through this.” Exclaimed Remus much to the voice in his head as to Albus.

“That is no longer your choice.” The cold voice behind his back retort. He turned around to face stern looking Snape. In two agile steps, Snape was next to him ”You brought this upon yourself remember that.” Growled Snape and hit him hard on his jaw.

Remus stumbled few steps clenching his jaw. Before he managed to react, the wolf part of him took over.

_ You hit _ . Grumbled the wolf, Albus looked genuinely surprised.

“I did, I need your help.”

_ I help a friend _

“Take him to the cage and keep him there.” 

Wolf nodded and Lupin’s features changed. With horror, Remus discovered that his body is moving without his control. In a fit of sheer panic, he glanced at Albus.

“Don’t make me do this.” He called almost pleadingly. 

His body took him to the cage. No matter how much he fought, it was as if he pinned himself to the floor.

 

**In the cage with the wolf**

Snape followed Lupin with Dumbledore at his heel. Charming one armchair along the way to place it for the old wizard in the front part of cage room.

“Albus you just sit here and try to react as fast as you can if something goes wrong.”

The old wizard nodded silently. 

Severus took off his cloak and neatly folded it placing it on the ground. Unbuttoning his right sleeve, he removed wand holster with his wand still in it and hand it to the Albus. Fixing his sleeve back he looked at old wizard.

“Wards will let me move through them, but I still have to open the cage door. I do not know if the link will work, be ready.”

“Do you expect trouble?” Asked Albus

“No, if nothing I expect him to be more … human … then he was in past weeks. But this is all theory. If my assumption proves to be correct, you may retreat to your quarters.”

“Are you sure?”

“If I am not in the danger in a first half an hour, I will not be in danger at all.” He stepped to the cage entrance and turned ”Albus, did you ever witnessed the transformation?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“It is…disturbing…sight. Even for me. If you do not think, you can handle it…” he stopped as Albus raised his hand.

“I am grateful for your concern my dear boy, but I will be alright. I witnessed transformation with and without potion before. I presume that this one will be less violent.”

“I would not bet on that.” Sighed Snape, he was still taken aback by the fact that his potion did not relieve most of the painful and violent aspects of transformation. Silently he nodded and entered the cage, closing the door behind.

Remus, still frozen on the spot, did not move. He was looking at Snape with pleading eyes. Suppressing the fear, Snape snapped at him.

“Nothing you do or say would change this, Remus. Grow a spine already. If I were you, I would remove my clothes, that is if you do not want it in shreds. I believe that there is no need to tell you how little precious time you have for that.”

His words had an impact on the frozen man in front of him. With apology and sadness in his eyes, wearing a look of the condemned man, Lupin started to remove his clothes. His back turned to Snape. 

_ He chose this moment when to develop at least some notion of modesty, _ though Snape still fighting the desire to run from the cage. 

_ This is not the time for wavering. _ He sternly reminded himself. Lupin curled in the furthest corner of the cage, as far away from him as possible.

Soon Lupin started to shake, falling to the side. Snape could see his jaw tightly clenched in an attempt to hold of screams. Lupin’s body started to contort violently accompanied by a loud, and familiar, crackling of the bones. 

Severus forced himself to keep a calm expression on his face, detached look in his eyes. Feeling torn between notion to flee and the notion to approach Lupin and at least attempt to help. Using all that he could conjure up of his will to stay motionless.

As transformation approached the final stage, Lupin abandoned his valiant attempt to remain silent and screamed. Screams filled the room and Snape's face grimaced, he could bear the sight but that scream was a reminder of his own personal failure. Looking at the twisted form in front, not human but still not an animal, he was certain that long list of thing that haunted his nightmares was now even longer.

Finally, screams turned to whimpers and howls. The werewolf was lying on the floor, still facing the wall. Snape moved, praying that his feet carrying him toward the transformed Lupin and not to the cage’s exit.

“Lupin. Remus,” he called softly in a low voice. Animal’s ears turned towards him but body retracted to the wall. Gaining a bit of confidence from that movement, he proceeded toward the wolf “Remus, are you alright?”

He was now only a few steps away. Suddenly werewolf stood up, straightening to its full height. Severus Snape was by no means a small man, but werewolf was higher than he was. 

Suddenly, beast exploded in a blur of a motion scrambling against the wall than rushing past him, nearly knocking him down, toward the opposite end of the cage. Snape jerked, and then spun around, turning his back to the animal and facing Albus, stretching one arm in motion that should signal Albus not to react.

He turned to face a wolf again, werewolf had the appearance of the terrified animal. He made one careful step, holding his arm stretched in front, palm facing down. He slowly advanced, as if he is trying to approach an untrusting dog.

_ I do hope that you do not hold this against me Lupin. _ “Remus, I know you are here. I would not harm you, and I know you would not harm me. Let me prove it to you. Let me come near to you.” He whispered in a calm voice. 

Lupin was still fixating him, eyes full of terror. 

”You will not harm me. I have trust in you. You did not bite my hand, and you will not bite me.”

Beast crouched then made one small slow motion toward him. He nodded approvingly and made another step forward.

“Just, let me touch you. Remember how you fell asleep on my hand. This is no different. Just prove to Albus that you will not harm me. He will go and I can read you a book. I took a liberty of choosing another book for us, another great Muggle novel.”  The werewolf looked at him with curiosity and made another step forward.

With a corner of an eye, he noticed Albus standing up, wand at ready. Fighting a need to warn Albus, hoping that old wizard will not disturb the beast or force it to the scared reaction he continued to talk.

“Just relax Remus, I know you are with us, I can see it in your eyes.”

Werewolf twitched his ears and cautiously stepped toward him, outstretching his snout to sniff the offered hand. Snape felt that his breath is hitched in his chest, the rush of blood humming in his ears as heart pumped insanely. Pushing through the rising and now almost overwhelming panic and fear, he made another step forward. He reached a link in his mind, hoping that link would suffice if anything goes unplanned his first line of defence.

Beast was close now, close enough. He froze as wet snout touched his hand. It was a familiar feeling. Then unexpected emotion of reassurance and safety washed over him, emanating from the link. His eyes widened. The link did not work that way, he could feel the faint echo of strong emotions, but this was different. A direct message and somehow Wolf or Lupin did send him those feelings. 

_ So this is the one of those ‘others possibilities’ scroll hinted.  _ “I understand. I am not afraid of you. Now, let me touch you, Remus.” He whispered.

Beast slowly slid its huge head beneath his hand, nuzzling it. 

Severus was fascinated, the fur was sharp and he could feel skin beneath it. He stroked werewolf’s head, one low growl escaped but tail waggle.  _ Just like a dog. _ He continued petting the beast.

“Do you want us to read now Remus?” He asked and the beast nuzzled his head against him, bumping at his chest ”Alright, then let me get it.”

Snape did not even notice that he was smiling, grinning, would be a better description. Fear that he felt all these years alleviated. He walked to the place where Remus left his clothes, signalling Albus that he can go. With the slight discomfort, Snape noticed that Albus have an odd smile and twinkle in his eyes, but Albus's eyes were twinkling every so often and he decided to dismiss it. 

He pulled a book and duvet from the hideout and walked back to the place where werewolf lied down. He placed the duvet on the ground and sit on it. Remus/wolf snuggled next to him, placing a head on the duvet, pawing on the ground for him to continue with stroking fur. Just like a dog.

“All right, all right. This is one of my favourite Muggle books. Written by Franz Kafka ‘The Trial’.” The wolf settled comfortably next to him. Placing one hand on the beast's back, he began to read. 


	11. Insight to one Severus Snape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**Albus knows**

Somewhere in the middle of the night, both Snape and Remus were in a deep slumber, unaware that Albus crept into the room again. 

Severus was sleeping with his back leaned on the wall, book in one hand, the other hand was resting on werewolf’s back, tucked into the fur. 

Remus was lying half on the duvet and half on the stone floor, sleeping soundly. 

The old wizard smiled, raised his wand and remove the binding spell. Quietly he left the room again.

 

**Silver ring**

Remus woke up feeling uncomfortably cold from the waist down, something heavy pressing on his back. Looking around he noticed that his head is near someone’s leg, not moving, not fully realizing what‘s going on he slowly backed away. The hand that lied on his back, slid to the ground. Straightening in the sitting position, his mind still foggy, Remus tried to remember. 

Suddenly, his back stiffened as he started to recall bits and pieces from last night.

Spinning around to see if Snape was still alive. A sigh of relief escaped his lips when he noticed that the other man was merely sleeping. He stood up and walked to the place where his clothes were, dressed and sit on the ground, looking at the slumbering Snape. He could wake him up but he needed time to think, wondering if he should feel angry or happy. 

Angry at Severus and Dumbledore for pulling this insane stunt. 

Happy that Severus was unharmed. 

Remus wondered if anyone else in Snape’s place could say the same.

“Nothing happened, as I knew it would not.” Snape’s voice echoed through the room, startling him. Severus was awake and he stretched as he stood up.

“What you did…if you were wrong…” whispered Remus, the thingle of horror in his voice

“I am rarely wrong Lupin…”

“And last night I was Remus.”

“…as I said, before you interrupted me, I am rarely wrong. I was in no danger from you.” Snapped Snape at him.

“Wouldn’t bet on being in no danger from me now.” Growled Remus, annoyed by Severus’s attitude. ”I do not appreciate you playing with my skin like that. If I have bit you... If I attacked you…” 

“I would survive. I had Albus as protection and the link.”

“You would still be cursed and I’d be in Azkaban.”

“I stuck my hand in your cage for past 4 full moons, if you were out to bite me I’d be joining you in that cage a long time ago” Snape was cold, with an annoyed look on his face. He walked out of the cage, took his wand and lowered the wards. “How do you feel?”

“I can walk. Bit of sleep and I can hold my afternoon classes. Whatever you did with the potion, I don’t feel so tired after transformation anymore.” He stood up following Snape to his laboratory and gulped the potions that Snape placed on the table.

“Yes, in many aspects I am satisfied how potion worked. No more tears and scarring. You are not dangerous, to me at least. In addition, you do not react to silver.”

“You cannot know that!” He protested, it was one to state the obvious but another to claim something based on the theory. 

Snape looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“And when did I claimed something like that?” Voice was a low hiss, Snape stepped toward him and suddenly Remus felt the urge to back away. 

Severus was still fixating his eyes, he slowly raised a left hand. Remus gasped, on Snape’s middle finger was a silver ring.

“Did you completely lost your mind!!? To enter in my cage, that alone was insane enough, but that…that…. How Albus even agreed to that?”

“Albus gave me a certain amount of autonomy. This was my decision.”

“You…you…”

“Me? Go to bed Remus. What was done - is done.” Snape turned his back and walked to the table covered with books and scrolls.

Remus sighed, feeling slightly dizzy he went to his bed but sleep didn’t come to him. His mind was rushing, still panicking at the prospect what could happen last night.

_ Friend was safe _ , reassured him the voice in his head.

“Was he?” He mumbled under his breath.

_ Not going to harm friend. _

“I know. But…”

_ I knew he had a ring. Seen the ring. Allowed the ring. _ Remus gasped.  _ Rest now. _

Finally, he closed his eyes and dozed off.

 

**A day of Severus’s life**

“I do not believe I approved that Severus. In fact, I most certainly would not agree to it. If I only knew…”

“If you knew Albus, you would overreact. You would startle him and place me in a real danger.” Sighed Severus, he did expect reaction but Albus was downright angry. ”Would you prefer me strolling in the cage with a silver knife, not knowing…”

“Silver knife? Severus!”

“Albus if your assumptions are correct, and somehow they always are, what do you think would happen? If he really would need protection as much as you think… No one will pet him with silver, be sure of that.”

“But to harm him…” Albus shook his head. ”Do you think that is smart?”

“It is necessary. And I have a month to convince Lupin in the same. Provided I get your support.”

“Do you have any more test?”

“No, that is the last one. If things go as planned, I will be free from his presence.” He almost smiled at the thought. ”For over a month, he is using pure silver when we dine. Not that he is aware.”

“Don’t you think he should know?” Albus sounded sharp but the undertone was pure approval, Severus suppressed the urge to smirk.

“Why would he?” He looked at the old man. ”If you decided to stick to  **my** plan, he would not know, not even half what he knows now.”

“Why do you think I changed your plans, Severus?” Albus smiled, offering him more tea. He refused, standing up.

“I have no idea, besides annoying me, placing me in the position of discomfort.” He sighed. ”I do not desire to be inside your head Albus, too many intrigues, even for an ex-Death Eater.”

“Always, so honest in face of others Severus, yet full of secrets.”

“No one ever believes in truth Albus, you taught me that. Most of the times the easiest way to lie is simply to tell a truth.” He was near the door when Albus called him again.

“Severus, did you manage to become friends?”

“No, but he does try to force that notion to me.”

“Why?”

“I have no knowledge of what is going on in his head, no more than I know what is going on in yours.”

“Why are you so against forming a friendship with him?”

“He is a beast and I have no use of friends.”

“Is that a truth Severus?” He turned his head to looked at the old wizard.

“What do you think?” He asked and not waiting for a reply he walked through the door.

_ Let him draw his own conclusions, he would do that anyway. _

He strode along the corridors, frowning at students. He did lie to Dumbledore, there was one more test - the final test before he put his head in a bag one more time. Entering his classroom, he saw few Slytherin’s waiting for him. Arranging the times when they can come and talk to him, Severus finally reached his quarters. 

He pinched a root of his nose at the sight of essays, he had to go through. 

He tossed a look at another table with a research paper and groaned. 

Balancing between teaching, schools schedules, obligatory staff meetings, weekly essay assignments, brewing and now pointless research, and the constant presence of Lupin on the top of his own private research started to take its toll on him. With no potions to keep him going, he felt tired.

Sorting and prioritizing his tasks, he grumbled, with such a busy schedule he had to cut down his own research in potions. Along with some commissions. 

_ Not that old man would find anything wrong with that.  _

Severus sighed, he had his heart set on few of the rare tomes - a few more commissions he could obtain them. Instead, he was stuck with the vast and borrowed collection of books on Garden gnomes. 

He finally managed to go through all essays and he was just going through one of the boring scrolls when Blaise Zabini run into his workroom. Blood was gushing from his nose. With a sigh, he stepped behind his desk to meet the boy.

“What happened?”

“My bose is bowken.” Mumbled the boy. 

Severus removed his hand from the face and observed the damage.

“It is not broken. Who did that to you?” He asked, the boy just looked at the ground. He grunted when Lupin chose that moment to barge in.

“Severus, where is the….” Lupin stopped talking seeing the student.

“Not now, Lupin.”

“Can I help?”

“Yes, find something to entertain yourself while I handle this.”

“If I may be of any assistance…”

“Blaise, did student from other house did this to you?” He asked and boy shook his head, still looking at the floor. ”No, Lupin you may not assist. This is a House problem.”

Lupin lingered for a short while and he closed his eyes counting. 

_ If he does not get lost soon I will hex him out. _

As soon as Lupin left the room, he turned to the boy.

“So, who did it? Now, Zabini, I don’t have the whole day.”

“Pansy, Sir.” Muffed the boy.

“What hex did she used?”

“…” The boy mumbled something.

“Repeat, so I can hear you this time.”

“Her brist” Coughed the boy and he had to struggle not to laugh.

“All right, go to Madam Pomfrey, she will stop the bleeding.” The boy nodded and walked off.

“Zabini!” He called when the boy was near the door. ”Do not engage in an open fist fight if you are not sure you can win. And, do not attack the girls just because you think they are weaker. I hope you learned your lesson.” 

The boy nodded and run out. He waited for a while before he started to laugh. Then as abruptly as he started the stopped and walked to the common room.  

Murmur in the room stopped, students fell silent looking at him. They were the only students that did not look at him with fear but respect. He cleared his throat.

“Miss. Parkinson, my office. Now.” He felt almost proud as the girl stood up, looking at him with determination, sticking her chin out proudly.

“I have nothing to say or hear that can’t be said here, Sir.”

“What happened?” He pinched the root of his nose as the room exploded in a cacophony of noise. 

”I ASKED MISS. PARKINSON!” He bellowed and the room fell silent once more. ”I am waiting.”

“He insulted me, Sir.” The girl answered.

“Did he attack you?”

“No, he said that I should consider myself lucky if any boy asks me out, Sir.”

“And you hit him?” He gasped.

“No, I hit him when he told me that my options are diminished to Potter or Weasley, Sir.” For the second time today he started to count, calming himself down he nodded. ”That is a strong insult, understandable. Miss. Parkinson, I advise you that next time to use your brain instead of your fists. Do not embarrass our house anymore with mindless violence.”

The girl nodded and muttered ”Yes, sir” but her chin quivered. 

He turned on his heel and left the room before he lost his nerve and actually consoled the girl. He walked through workroom and into his quarters.

“You wanted something Lupin.” He asked.

“I think that you are not interested in working on our paper anymore.” Smiled Lupin

“No, indeed I am not.”

“Chess?”

“Yes, I would prefer a game of chess.” He smiled.

 

**Getting to know Severus...**

Remus sighed - their research was at the full stop. Somehow, it was obvious that they cannot find the solution, that solution lied in Pomona and Filius respective fields. But for some reason, they still keep up with pretences and continued. 

He sighed again.  _ Where is that scroll? Severus must have it in his workroom. _

He walked into the room only to find Snape and one of his students. The boy had a bloody nose. After his offer for help was refused by Snape in a rude fashion, he lingered a bit wondering. Seeing Snape with his students, after all this time he spent in Snape’s quarters, he remembered how many times calls echoed from workroom in all times day and night. 

Severus seemed so out of his usual self with these kids. He would jump and meet every call. He would give advice or comfort them. Knowing a surly Potion Master better now, he could notice the small twitches of self-control. He blinked away the image, vividly played in his mind, of Severus actually hugging a student in a fatherly manner. 

Snape growled and he left the room.

Walking back in the living area, he banished the mess from the worktable. He would love to go out and take a stroll by the lake but that was impossible. Trying to find something to amuse himself, he turned his attention to items that replaced a collection of torturing devices on the wall. The majority were books and more scrolls, some of them looking ancient and rare. 

An expensive antique chess set with still ongoing game draw his attention. He stared at the pieces playing the game to the finish in his mind. Reluctant to touch the chess board, partially because it was placed under the strong protective charm. 

_ With whom do you play this game?  _

He walked to the armchair and sat in it, looking at the fire. As much as he now knew about Snape, the man was still a mystery to him. A nagging voice in his head sounded repetitive in its mantra  _ trust friend _ and nothing more. Feeling much like his old self lately Remus started to question his inclination to befriend Snape. He nearly jumped when Snape’s voice rumbled.

“You wanted something Lupin.”

“I think that you are not interested in working on our paper anymore.” He smiled.

“No, indeed I am not.”

“Chess?”

“Yes, I would prefer a game of chess.”

Snape looked tired beyond reason. Listening, he could hear slow and suffocated heartbeats, as if the man was carrying some heavy load. Remus started to worry. Snape did not take any potions save from those to heal himself and for the first time he wondered, did he denied him of something he used in days like this. Snape slumped in the armchair, tossing out his robe and coat.

“Do you want us to play a new game or we could finish this one.” He suggested, aching to play at least once with the antique set.

“Do not even dare to touch that chess set” Snape was suddenly standing with a wand in his hand ”Touch it and I will turn you into a pile of ashes.”

Snape's demeanour was treating, sucking up all warmth from the room. So much so that he felt a need to cast a Patronus charm. Pulling back from the antique set, he raised his hands defensively.

“I didn’t touch it. Just a suggestion.”

“Bring the old set here and do not even dare to touch that one.” Hissed Snape and sat back. 

With a sigh, he took the old chess set lost in thoughts. 

_ One more mystery to crack, there is not enough time in this lifetime. Why is that game so important? _

They sat the game and his sullen companion played half-heartedly in silence.

It was the second game that evening, when other fireplace erupted in flames, head of Lucius Malfoy emerged.

“Severus,” Called Malfoy’s voice, Snape nearly jumped from his chair, giving him a signal to be quiet and stay put.

“Lucius, what pleasant surprise. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Replied Severus

“We are having a party at the Manor, I thought you might want to join us, Severus.”

“I would love to. Sadly, I will not be able to, Lucius. You know as well as I do that I cannot socialize with you. Not for another four years.”

“Nonsense, Severus, I am a member of the board.”

“And are the other professors invited?” Smirked Snape. ”As long as I am a professor and your sons Head of House, I am afraid that I am not able to indulge in social pleasantries.”

“Such a shame.” Sighed Malfoy ”I’ve heard of your…predicament, Severus”

“Then you know how busy my schedule is.”

“Yes. I will send you another bottle of Ogden’s, the new batch just arrived.”

“I would not go that far, you know I do not like to drink more than a glass of vine.”

“Alright, then I’ll choose one of the bottles from my cellar. I take it that Draco is doing fine.”

“He is a true Malfoy,” Replied Snape cruelty

“Always a stickler for rules Severus.”

“Thank you for the invitation Lucius, I have to return to my project now, I am sorry for cutting this conversation short.”

“I understand. Then, another time perhaps?”

“Most certainly. Do convey my regards to Narcissa.”

“I will.” With that Malfoy’s head disappeared. 

Snape was still standing in front of the fireplace as if he was suspecting that he would reappear again. Remus looked at the fire, feeling uncomfortable. Snape’s demeanour was completely different from what he would expect. The tone was light, friendly and distant. From what he just heard, it sounded as Snape and Malfoy were close, and yet, Snape was distant. Never even cracking a notion of a smile. 

Severus returned to the game, but until the end of the evening, he wore a frown wedged between his brows. 


	12. Did you totally lose your mind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**The list**

Days seemed to fly by, for him. They were still working on that silly research paper, and he remained silent, even when he figured out that their fields would not find the solution.

 _To keep up the pretences,_ he thought bitterly.

He was feeling restless and annoyed, and most dissatisfying part was - he could not figure out why.

Tossing aside the last 4th-year essay, Severus sighed. He Pinched the root of the nose and closed his eyes, the headaches became more frequent.

 _Two more weeks_.

Counting time became his litany. Taking a clear parchment, he made a list of things he needed to do in these two weeks

**Test reaction to cuts with silver in human form.**

**Talk to Doddy**

**Finish the paper; make sure to cut off Albus and his future meddling!**

**Break the Link**

**Stop administering the second potion**

Looking at the paper he sighed again.

Setting parchment aside, he conjured a notebook and started to scribble on it. Albus was right - Remus was one of his most important researchers now. Taking notes about his observations as well as a hypothesis for further development was now his daily habit. After filling almost three full pages he took a small curved silver blade, used for precise cutting of leaves and strands from plants and he looked at it.

_Tonight._

Sitting back in his chair, he reached for the Link. In rare times, he indulged himself in the exploration of the possibilities of the Link. He discovered that link could be used to communicate emotions and general notion in near proximity. Focusing on the slight trembling of the link. Annoyance he felt was not his, it was mixed with frustration, insecurity and fuzz of double set of emotions so opposite that caused him to feel dizzy.

“Dobby, Dobby.” He called, in short time elf popped in.

“Yes professor Snape, you called Dobby?”

“I did. Thank you for coming so fast.” He smiled at the elf. ”I want to thank you for all your help in past few months.”

“Dobby will help professor Snape.” Blinked elf happily.

“I think it is time to lift the jinx from Professor Lupin’s hair.”

“Mr Lupin is very unhappy with that.” Agreed Dobby. ”Professor Snape, are we going to stop telling Mr Lupin things that are not happening too?”

“No Dobby, he has to believe in all that was said.” He replied curtly.

“Mr Lupin was sad thinking that you cried, sir.”

“I know Dobby, but some things are necessary. Dobby, you can move through barriers and wards?”

“Dobby can, elf magic”

“If you remain next to me but hidden during the professor Lupin last transformation, can you get me out before wolf manage to bite me if something goes wrong?”

“Dobby can. Sir, Dobby is scared for you.” Elves ears flopped to the side, the little elf was looking sad.

“There are things I have to do Dobby. In addition, makes me feel safe to know I can count on you.” He softened his voice, feeling a sting of guilt for making elf so sad, he handed 2 galleons to the elf. ”This is for your service and help in these past months.”

“This is too much.” Shrieked Dobby looking at the gold coins, not reaching to take them ”Dobby didn’t deserve that much sir.”

“Yes, you did. On my next trip to Hogsmeade, I will bring you socks and a set of tea cosies. Now, take it.” He nudged the elf. ”Just lift the jinx.”

“Dobby will do that right away.” Grinned elf taking the coins, he looked at them as he was just received full vault of gold. He smiled.

“Thank you, Dobby that would be all. We will need dinner at the usual time, no glamour on the silverware this time for Lupin.” The elf nodded and despaired.

He took the parchment and crossed one thing on it, wondering how many tasks he can cross over by the end of the day.

**Test reaction to cuts with silver in human form.**

~~**Talk to Doddy** ~~

**Finish the paper; make sure to cut off Albus and his future meddling!**

**Break the Link**

~~**Stop administering the second potion** ~~

 

**Should I hug you or kill you?**

Remus literally busted through the door that evening after his last class. Snape was in the workroom, hunched over the cauldron. Without even uttering a word, he ran to him and hugged Snape, who dropped steering rod and nearly tipped the cauldron.

“Get off me you mutt!” Hissed Snape pushing him away. ”You just managed to destroy 4 hours of labour! Go and find a chair leg to ….”

“Thank you.” He grinned at the steaming Snape who was looking as he is preparing to hex him any second.

“Lupin, I am not amused by this.” Hissed Snape. ”If I recall you asked me to talk to Dobby. I did. All the thank I get for it is the destruction of my potion. If I knew…”

Remus just grinned and tried to hug Snape again, but yelped in pain looking at his hand. His palm was bleeding from a small cut. Snape was sneering at him holding a small silver knife.

“Are you lost your mind!?” He growled. ”Did you cut me with that?”

His hand was stinging as if he dipped it in the acid. Snape had a vindictive look as he nodded his head.

“I was planning to talk to you about final stage, but considering all that you did tonight…”

“So you cut me with silver?”

“Yes. How do you feel?”

“It stings! Hurts like an acid burn. Do you realize that this won’t heal?” His mood was changing fast from happy to angry.

Without a word, Snape took one small bottle. “Give me your hand. This will sting…a lot.”

“Dittany does not work on silver cuts.” He grumbled but gave a hand to Snape who applied the liquid on the cut.

He hissed as liquid started to sting adding to already existing pain. Soon enough, pain reduced, and with awe, he watched as cut begun to close up.

”How?”

“The second potion. I think it is time for you to stop taking it. Just to see how you will react.”

“Do you think it is safe?”

“Yes.” Replied Snape after a small pause and Remus looked at him, not sure if he should place trust in the answer. Snape frowned. ”Do not look so petrified. After all, you are using silverware at dinner for over a month.”

“You,… I, …. When did you planning to tell me that?”

“I did not.”

He looked at Snape, words choking him as he uttered. “You didn’t plan to tell me that I use silverware for dining, but you planned on asking me if you can cut me with a silver knife?”

“Yes.” Calmly replied Snape, with the same tone if he asked him if he wants milk in his tea ”Honestly Lupin, I do not see the problem.”

“You don’t..... What if I had a reaction!”

“Then we would know that the potion did not work.”

“What if I refuse to use knife and fork at dinner from now on.” He hissed at Snape.

The cold and calm demeanour of other man forced him to fight the aggression that was building inside his chest.

“I see no problem in that. I can always ask Dobby to bring you a bowl, be sure that bowl will be made of silver too.” Snape narrowed his eyes, voice silky smooth. Remus had the desire to smack him on the nose.

“Before I seriously damage you, Severus,… is there anything else I should know about?” He growled through the clenched teeth.

“As a matter of fact, yes, there is. I was planning to discuss this with you later, but I do tend to forget - Gryffindors need more time to process information. For your next transformation, I need your… what I am saying. I **do not** need your permission, but it would be mutually beneficial if you go along with my plan.”

Snape paused, and Remus started to worry. Snape was never talkative, the longest he ever heard him speak was during the transformation when he read to him. Any lengthy explanation could lead only to one goal - he will hear something that is not to his liking.

“Do continue.” he nudged Snape

“On the next full moon, it is necessary to go a step further. I would have to injure you.”

“Can you repeat that?” Gasped Remus, his head was filling with the buzz.

“Your reaction to silver in human form is more than satisfactory; however, I have to be sure how you will react to the silver cut in a werewolf form and off the potion.” Calmly explained Snape, smug tilt lingering around his eyes.

 _The bloody fool enjoying himself tormenting me._ “Did you totally lost your mind?” Hissed Remus. ”You are suggesting that you enter into the cage of a werewolf and cut him with a silver knife?”

“I believe I just said that, no need to repeat the obvious.”

“Pray, tell me, Severus, do you honestly believe that you will be able to **live** and tell a tale after that little neat idea of yours? I assure you that Albus won’t agree to that.”

“He already did.” Smugly grinned Snape.

“And what if I refuse?”

“Do I need to repeat myself?” Snape raised an eyebrow and he suppressed the desire to hex it right of Snape’s face. ”To appease your mind I can inform you that I already took all measures of precaution. The chances of you hurting me successfully are minimal.”

“Do you hear yourself? The _chances are minimal_! Did you ever stop to reconsider the consequences if those minimal chance prove to be not so minimal?”

“I did.”

“And? Did you already made reservations for me in Azkaban?” He hissed.

“No. I made a contract. You will sign it as well as Dumbledore. That will relieve you of any possible guilt if the occasion arises.” Snape was still calm and he had a desire to grab him by the shoulders and shake him hard.

 _Does he even know what he is suggesting?_ “Just out of curiosity Severus, does that little contract of yours has a spell that will relieve me from my personal feeling of guilt?”

“Would you feel any less guilty if I did not inform of my plan?”

“Yes, and that is not even a question.”

“Then I do not see the problem.”

“Do you even know how it feels to live with the guilt?” He snapped at Snape, now he was feeling desperate.

Suddenly, an emotion so strong washed over him - pain, regret, and anger. Anger so powerful that made his outburst of aggression look feeble. Emotions were pulled back so fast leaving nothing but the cold emptiness, making him feel like he slammed into the hard wall at full speed. He gasped. Snape's face turned to stone, eyes looking dead and cold. When Snape spoke, his voice was a low dangerous hiss.

“I have to finish potion that you ruined by tomorrow. Leave. Now.”

Remus blinked. _What just happened?_ He was staring at Snape in confusion.

“I said LEAVE!!!” Bellowed Snape, the feeling of emptiness turned to the icy cold notion.

Still stunned by an unexplainable occurrence he turned and walked into the other room. He tossed himself on the bead as strange emotion slowly withdrew.

“What was that?” mumbled

 _The link._ A familiar voice in his head whispered.

“I cannot read his thoughts. The link doesn’t work that way.”

 _Not the thoughts. Emotions._ Stated the voice.

“What do you know?”

_Friend suffers._

“It doesn’t seem like it. I would know, I would see something.”

_You ignore the link. I listen to link. The friend is in pain._

“Let’s make something clear - he was pretty determined that he does not want to be my friend. Even I am not sure if I want him as a friend.”

 _He is friend._ The voice was stern. _You are friend. Both stubborn._

“Were you present just now? The whole time? Did you hear him what he’s planning to do?”

 _Friend helps. Let him help. Rest now._ The voice dimmed and he sighed. Lately, his life spiralled out of control so severely that it was frightening. Remus closed his eyes and sighed again, measuring his options.

 

**The contract**

For the longest of time, Severus was standing still, staring at one point, barely breathing. Hands clenched into fists so tightly that his wrists turned white. Minutes passed but he did not move.

Finally, after more than a quarter of the hour, he leaned on the table.

Almost as if he was in trans, he started to prepare ingredients for a potion, working automatically. The first stage of simmering started and only then, he walked at the armchair at corner tossing himself in it, burying his face in his hands.

_Damn you old man, release my bind or let me die._

Breathing heavily he pushed all the fillings at the back of his mind, going through series of breathing and concentration exercises. Finally, he stood up and approached the simmering cauldron, focusing on his work. Before leaving his laboratory, he summoned a parchment and crossed another written line

~~**Test reaction to cuts with silver in human form.** ~~

~~**Talk to Doddy** ~~

**Finish the paper; make sure to cut off Albus and his future meddling!**

**Break the Link**

~~**Stop administering the second potion** ~~

It was well past midnight when he managed to retreat to the room. He had enough time to steal a couple of hours of sleep. Next morning he found a parchment rolled on his pillow and grunted.

“Not this again.” He sat straight snatching a parchment and looking at it as it was done something nasty to him. Scowling at himself for his lack of alertness around Lupin he rolled parchment open.

I will sing your bloody contract. Arrange it with Dumbledore for this afternoon. R.

He smiled, his mind worked furiously as he jumped from the bed and strode to the bathroom. Finally, the plan he devised was set in motion.

Later that day, he entered into Dumbledore’s cabinet. Remus was already there, swaying nervously back and forth on his feet. Dumbledore was annoyingly cheerful as he always was when things progressed the way he wanted them to.

“Albus, Lupin.” He greeted them curtly and placed 3 scrolls on the table. ”I already put my signature on them.”

“Remus are you absolutely sure, you want to agree to this?”

“Yes. Not that I have much of a choice, I would rather have at least some measure of comfort in this ordeal.” Lupin reached for the first scroll, taking a quill from the inkpot on the desk.

Snape raised his hand, gracing a Lupin with the look he usually reserved for his most dense of his students.

“I suggest that you read the contract first, before signing it.”

“No need. I trust you.” Blurted Lupin placing his signature on the parchment, Albus followed his example he waved his head but stay silent.

_Gryffindors and their trusting nature._

When all scrolls had all 3 signatures on them and each of them took his copy, he nodded his head.

“If this is all…”

“Severus this is truly the final stage?” Asked Albus interrupting him, he frowned.

“At present conditions, yes.”

“What conditions?” Asked Lupin.

“Should there be more tests?” Spoke Albus at the same time.

“Given more time, there would be some additional testing. However, our research paper is due to submission in 3 weeks’ time, and by the next full moon, the term will be over. In the prospect of that, time is limited for future research.”

“And what would further research include?” Asked Albus suddenly serious, he glanced at him and sat on the nearest chair folding his hands on the knee. Waiting for them to follow his example.

“Well, first, I would test reactions by denying a Wolfsbane Potion to Lupin for a couple of months to test how he reacts without it and to see how permanent the effect of altered Wolfsbane he is taking now is. I would also test the reaction to regular Wolfsbane vs altered one, to see if there is any difference.”

“And how much time would that demand?”

“Considering the time of withdrawal effects and building up of the potion in the system, and the fact that we are bound by the lunar cycles…A year, maybe two.”

“That is a long time indeed.” Agreed Albus. ”Is all that testing necessary?”

“No. It is prudent but not necessary. I cannot guarantee what will happen in those situations at this point.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“At the present, Lupin should continue with altered Wolfsbane Potion.”

“My contract with Hogwarts ends with the end of this term. Gringotts Goblins, already employ me to another task.” Sighed Remus.

“That is of no consequence,” Albus turned to Lupin. ”Your contract clearly states that you will be provided with the Potion as long as you need it. Terms of contract extend beyond your actual employment as a professor.”

Lupin raised his head looking at Albus with his mouth open and he could not but smirk.

“You signed another contract without reading it. As expected from you Lupin. One day you are going to sign away your soul.” Lupin looked at him smiling sheepishly. ”If this is all, I would like to retreat. Poppy asked for restocking of certain potions.”

“Yes, this is all Severus. Thank you.” Albus smiled at him, Remus just nodded and he walked away.

_Soon the life will return to normality, I will be free of Lupin. Who would have thought that I would miss Henry this much?_


	13. Who is Henry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**Voyeuristic tendencies**

The following days passed uneventfully as two of them fell into the routine. 

Suddenly, Remus snapped out of the sleep. He listened carefully. It was the same sound; he thought he dreamt for past few weeks. 

Already accustomed to life in dungeons, he could judge with an ease that it was early morning, an hour before sunrise. He slowly pulled his wand underneath the pillow and rise. Snape’s bed was empty. 

Heavy panting with sharp expels of air was coming from the room with the cage. He crept out of the bed and sneaked to the doorway, peeking from what he perceived as a safe spot. 

His jaw fell down. Whatever he expected - what he saw was not it. He quickly covered his mouth with a hand, crouching in a more comfortable position. He knew that a smart thing to do would be to just get to bed and forget about it all, but he was too curious. 

Snape was in the cage, dimly lighted with only one candle, naked from the waist up and barefooted. He just finished with the push-ups and now he was doing sit-ups, breathing heavily, exhaling sharply with every upward thrust. 

Remus looked at his muscles flexing. 

Snape never looked much, he was slim on the verge of starvation. Even now, he could see the lines of his ribs. One thing Remus could not say about Snape was that he is physically weak. He remembered how strong his hand were. At least he understood now where that strength came from.

Snape finished with sit-ups and took a glass of water, drinking it fully. As he placed the glass on the floor, she filled with water instantly. Remus could not but marvel his skills. 

Snape stood up and started to breathe deeply and calmly, and then he moved. 

Remus watched in amazement. Snape’s movements were slow, fluid and almost poetic, many demanded a strong sense of balance. Remus was sure that he would stumble and fall if he was to do that, not to mention his muscles could not withhold that intensity of training. 

Snape was moving in the radius of one square meter, and now he was looking at man’s back. The contour of every muscle visible as he continued through the motions, focused on breathing. 

Watching him move was like watching a highly skilled dancer performing a mesmerizing dance. Time passed by, Remus could feel icy tingles of cramps numbing his legs, but he refused to move. 

It was almost sunrise, suddenly Snape exploded into a blur of motion, still using same movements but with such speed that made him almost gasp loudly. The fuzz of a speed that maintained the elegance of movements came to an abrupt end, the same way that started. He could see Snape's’ chest moving rapidly, but heartbeats were only slightly elevated. He watched as Snape drank another glass of water, placing it back in the same spot to refill.

Remus bit his lip when seemingly out of nowhere appeared large trunk of wood, high almost as Snape. Trunk laced with wooden bars scattered in irregular pattern sticking out. The Large base provided support or strange contraption, on the top of the trunk was a round shape that reminded him of a neck with a head. 

Snape flexed his neck muscles and inhaled a couple of times before approached it. Remus could see that Snape added a wand holster with a wand to his right arm. He watched with curiosity what is going to happen next, holding his breath. 

Snape slightly hit one bar setting a trunk in motion to rotate. Snape, started with slow movements, blocking bars then backed away rubbing his hand against injured ribs. 

He took a couple of breaths, flexed his muscles to relieve the tension and approached contraption again. This time he speeded up his movements, blocking, dodging and jumping the bars, taking good care to protect his wand. As Remus could see, his goal was to block the potential hits of bars and at the same time to hit the alleged head, neck or body of the trunk. 

As the time passed the speed of motions increased, but Snape still managed to maintain his stand, not once allowed bars to hit him. All of a sudden, Snape jumped back rolling on the ground and springing up kicking the ”head” with his foot as he flew through the air. Landing on the ground behind a contraption at safe distance. Remus could hear the heavy breathing, leaning slightly up front with hands on thighs. 

Finally, Snape walked to take another glass of water, loosening his wand at the same time and sending trunk back to wherever he came from. He placed the empty glass on another spot and the glass disappeared, soon soft towel appeared. He was watching Snape as he leaned to take a towel and wipe sweat from his body.

Feeling as if he is doing something inappropriate, he continued watching Snape's muscles glistened with sweat. Snape dabbed his face than growled, he noticed a reason for frustration. Snape's hair, dampened from sweat started to curl up in rich locks. With a growl, Snape conjured a jar with some cream, took a swat of it on his fingers and rubbed it over hands. He applied the cream on his hair, instantly forcing it to fall down in lank, greasy looking limp form. 

Remus nearly chuckled, slight movement reminded him that he spent almost 2 hours in the same position. Still observing Snape, he tried to move, but his legs were painfully numb. Trying to stand up he fumbled, making noise. Snape looked at his direction approaching, a gleam in his eyes was bordering between annoyance and malice, malice spilt in his voice when he spoke.

“Seeing something you like, Lupin?” Remus flinched, more from the sound than from pain in his legs. He gazed at Snape with spite.

“What if I am?” He replied with a smile.

“Too bad, I am not interested.” Retort Snape passing against him.

“May I ask you something?” Snape stopped and turned to him.

“You may ask…” He trailed off. Remus was studying Snape, his gaze fell on Snape's arms and he noticed that Severus draped a towel over his left forearm.

“What was that?”

“It is called keeping your body fit, you may try and exercising it sometimes. If that is all I would like to take a shower.”

Snape turned and walked toward the bathroom, not bothering to dress up. Suddenly Remus tried to reach him and stop before he entered, but his numb legs gave up halfway through and he dived head on towards the floor. With surprise, he landed in Snape's hands. Roughly, Snape pulled him upward and nearly dragged him in an armchair.

“Do not kill yourself Lupin, I do not desire to explain to Albus how you died trying to stalk and ogle at me.” Snape’s voice was poisonous. 

However, Remus was focusing on Snape's arm, in all the fumbling the towel slipped off exposing his left forearm. Snape hissed and took the fallen towel wrapping it around his hand again.

“I do not see the reason for your reaction Severus. It is well-known fact…” He stopped mid-sentence facing an ice-cold stare in Snape's eyes. Snape's voice was barely audible when he spoke.

“Do try to find some other object of your attraction, Lupin. As I told you before  **I. Am. Not. Interested** .” Snape turned on the heel and strolled into the bathroom. 

Remus blinked at the closed door trying to sort out what just happened. One moment Snape was…well just Snape, in the next he was an inch away from killing him with a look. He sighed, rubbing his numb legs. 

_ Maybe it is time to come clean with him, the joke went too far. _

Fighting the needles in his legs he stood up and slowly walked to the bathroom door, taking a long breath he banged his fist on the door.

“Do not even attempt to enter Lupin or you will die for sure!”

“I won’t, but I do have a confession to make.” He yelled as the sound of water started to rush.

“Oh, and that could not wait? By all means, do tell.” Snape growled loud enough and grumbled more quietly. ”With a bit of luck, maybe I will not hear.”

“You know how I told Pomona that my …preferences are well-known. It turns out that they are in fact well-known or known at all, only in this school. It is a funny story.” He yelled loud enough for Snape to hear him through the sound of water. ”In our 5th year, me and Jimmy, the Ravenclaw fellow, one with funny coloured hair. Well, we were stealing some funny herbs from Greenhouse, and Pomona walked in. We panicked and Jimmy had that idea, we told her we are hiding so that no one would know we are a couple. You know how Pomona is a sucker for love stories; she gave us an invitation to use her Greenhouses whenever we want.” 

He stopped talking.

From the bathroom, he could hear a thump. Severus was swearing which was shocking enough, never before he heard him use a foul language. Now Snape's vocabulary could make bottom feeders from Knockturn Alley blush. The sound of water stopped and the door suddenly opened. Snape was in pants, unbuttoned shirt, barefooted, his soaking hair was wetting the shirt. Snape advanced slowly wand pointed at him, with a murderous look on his face.

“Are you telling me that I am exposed to the school gossips based on the stupid prank?” Snape's voice was low, dangerous hiss. 

He swallowed hard this was not anticipated reaction. He raised his wand pointing it at Snape.

“Are you telling me that you put me through the hell of a guilt when all this time you could defend yourself?” He growled back, hoping that attack is going to prove as good defensive tactic against Snape's cold anger.

“Do not tempt my patience, Lupin.”

“I was under the impression you would be relieved hearing that.”

“As usual, you are wrong.” Coldly replied Snape, his voice dangerously low.

“You are as bad as I am.” He tried again.

“O, I can assure you, I am much worse Lupin. The things I could do to you, you don’t even dare to think about them.”

“Then why didn’t you? Why didn’t you stop me then, you are obviously more than capable.” He almost screamed.

“Believe me, Lupin, I would, gladly, if I could.” Hissed Snape, an expression of pure annoyance spilt all over Snape’s face.

“What stopped you?”

“…” Snape mumbled something, the man turned in resignation from him, placed his wand on the table and removed the soaked shirt, turning to look for new one.

“What did you say?”

“Albus.” Snape turned to him, eyes narrowed sardonically. ”Albus bloody Dumbledore made me swear on a wand oath to him. I cannot hurt or damage you in any way. Physical or psychological damage to your person is not an option for me. Why do you think you are still breathing to annoy me?”

“Albus, but…he must of… “

“Yes,” The bitter tone coloured Snape’s voice. ”He knew. I warned him. He just wanted to be sure that his pet werewolf would not be harmed in any way. So, consider yourself lucky.”

Snape finally managed to find a dry shirt, casting a drying spell on his hair he dressed and turning to his heal headed to the hallway.

“Where are you going?”

“What are you? My wife?” Snapped Snape and left the room. 

Remus felt lost, he sat in the armchair. Emotions overflow him. He knew how dangerous he could be, with all what was planned to, and obviously, Albus was aware of dangers. 

_ How could he? _

The feral werewolf was unpredictable and dangerous, Fenrir was a perfect example. What if the second potion didn’t work, Snape would be in imminent danger with no option to defend himself. 

_ Snape was in danger, and he didn’t defend himself, _ reminded him a thin voice of his conciseness. Looking dully into the fire he wondered how many times in his life he is going to damage that man, how big his debt to Snape will be when he draws his last breath.

 

**Henry**

Snape was pacing, finally alone in his room, he was pacing wearing a hole in the stone floor. He remembered, once in his early childhood when he was still attending Muggle school they took them to the zoo. He remembered seeing a tiger pacing in his cage, he could not understand it, and he could sense animal’s raw energy and frustration. At the time, he thought that in tiger’s place he would be still and wait his opportunity to escape. 

However, he could understand tiger now. He was pacing trying to subdue the feeling of frustration, the rage that compels him to destroy something, anything. The need to tear off the bars of the cage he was in and run. However, he was unable, the same way that tiger was unable to escape, trapped. Snorting at his own reluctance to gaze deep inside him and look for the source of his discomfort.

He stopped pacing and summoned a parchment; he crossed another line of text on it.

~~**Test reaction to cuts with silver in human form.** ~~

~~**Talk to Doddy** ~~

**Finish the paper; make sure to cut off Albus and his future meddling!**

**Break the Link**

~~**Stop administering the second potion** ~~

Two more things to do, only two more, and he’ll be free. At least as free as he could be. Closing his eyes he sighed, he was in dire need of potion, a Dreamless sleep - he would sell his soul for a night of rest. The words of a Shakespeare came to his mind. Agitation was still crawling beneath his skin. Soft pop snapped him to reality he looked at Dobby.

“Yes?”

“Dobby is sorry to interrupt you Sir, but Henry…”

“Is he giving you a trouble?”

“No Sir, but Henry is missing his Professor Snape, Sir.”

“Just for a little while, Dobby.” He softly smiled.

“All right Sir, Dobby will do his best to calm Henry down.” Squeaked elf and disappeared.

“Henry. Who is Henry?” Lupin’s voice made him spin. Lupin was standing, leaning at the doorway with a wide grin.

“None of your business, Lupin.” He bit back feeling anger filling him again.

“If you told me,…”

“What?”

“I am imposing on your hospitality too much.” Whispered Lupin. ”But, you could, we…”

“There is no ‘we’, Lupin.”

“That is not what I meant. I could,…”

“You could what? Do you suggest that I am fickle as you are? I believe I did inform you that I am not interested before you revealed your hand too early, Lupin. You would be a lousy card player.” He raised his eyebrows, suddenly realizing what was Lupin aiming at and grinned. Lupin’s face became wary, his own heart was racing like crazy.

“Severus if you need…”

“What I need Lupin is to hand that damned research paper and after tomorrow night not to set my eyes on you. Ever again would be a too soon.”

“We can hand the paper now.” Smiled Lupin. 

He was observing another man for a while, and then he picked up his teaching robe, dressing it as fast as he could. He summoned the stack of parchments and looked at Lupin.

“Shall we?”

“Lead the way.” Smiled Lupin, he had the strong desire to pound that smile out of Lupin’s face. They walked through the hallways in silence, students were smiling at Lupin bus scattering out of their way.

“You are scaring them” Sighed Lupin.

“Good.” He mumbled.

“You know, they would pay more attention if you soften up to them a bit.” Suggested Lupin and he just snorted, he had no will to be a nurturing and soft toward students. Caring was a luxury he was not willing to grant.

Suddenly, a student rusher between them, knocking hard at both of them.

“Longbottom!” He called sharply and student froze in the motion, they approached him.

“I…I’m….” Stuttered the boy.

“Running in the hallways is against school rules.” He drawled. ”That will be 10 points from Gryffindor.”

“Severus….”

“No one asked you for your opinion Lupin. Mr Longbottom, why are you still here?” He hissed at the boy who winced and then paced hastily, shivering.

“And you are wondering why you are his boggart.”

“I am not wondering I know why.”

“Does that bother you?”

“Your ridiculous stunt bothers me; I have no problem being his boggart at all.”

“I do not understand you sometimes, Severus.”

“ _ I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace, and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any. In this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking. In the meantime, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. _ ” He muttered

“What?”

“You really need to brush up your Muggle literature Lupin, it is shameful how little you know.”

They reached Albus’s office and he murmured the password. Albus looked at them over his glasses.

“Severus, Remus?”

“Our research paper.” He hissed slamming the parchments in front of Albus. ”You will find that our ‘research’ was pointless as much as the sole topic of research.”

“Is everything ready for tomorrow?”

“It is.” He nodded as Remus winced.

“Anything else?”

“That will be all.” He turned on his heel and stride out, leaving Remus to entertain Albus.

Entering his private laboratory, he took a parchment from the desk and crossed another line

~~**Test reaction to cuts with silver in human form.** ~~

~~**Talk to Doddy** ~~

~~**Finish the paper; make sure to cut off Albus and his future meddling!** ~~

**Break the Link**

~~**Stop administering the second potion** ~~


	14. Let him lick his wounds and let me help him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**Silver Dagger**

He was reading and Remus was nervously pacing. They were standing in his laboratory waiting for Dumbledore to make his appearance.

“Lupin you will give me a dizzy spell, stop pacing.” He drawled. 

Severus was reading his notes, toying with a silver dagger in his hands. Suddenly, the door burst open and Sirius Black barged in before he even realized what he doing his wand was in his other hand, pointed at crazy and scruffy looking man. Snape was frozen, controlling his urge to attack, torn between the desire to simply kill the man or to slowly torture him.

“Well, well, look what fly into my web” He hissed.

“Stay away, Snivellus” Growled Sirius

“Or what?”

“So it is true. You hold him prisoner. You despicable excuse of a human being.” Snarled Black.

“And now I have two prisoners.” Purred Snape menacingly.

“You don’t have anything Snape, never had and you never will.”

“Severus, please.” Meek voice of Lupin was barely a whisper.

“You want to take Lupin with you? How chivalrous of you Black, you forgot to bring flowers. Then go on, take him away. However, I do believe that Lupin will stay with me on his own volition.”

“Remus, let’s go.” Black turned to Remus growling ”I came for you. Back off Snivelly.”  

Remus was standing pinned to his spot, looking at him with pleading eyes.

“Remus!” Called Black, but Lupin’s eyes were glued to him. Twitching his hand around his wand, suppressing a curse to spill through his lips he was looking at his lifelong enemy. Suddenly, he lowered his wand, straightening his shoulders and back to a full height. His eyes roamed from Lupin to Black 

_ Oh, this is going to be good. _

He spoke slowly, pronouncing every word. “It is time Lupin, go to your cage or go with the Black, the decision is yours.”

“Remus!!” Called Black for the third time. He could sense Lupin’s gaze on him, but he was fixating Black.

“I’m sorry Sirius, there are so many things you don’t understand.” Lupin’s voice was thin and quiet as he turned and walked to the hallway, away from the laboratory.

His lips dragged into a thin, vile smile as he observed shock on Black’s face. Shock replaced with anger as he turned to him.

“What did you do to him? A cage? He is not an animal!!!”

“He is…” He drawled revelling in the feeling of power over the Black. ”…and I am treating him as such. As you can see, he is well trained. I suggest you run now Black, before…ah, Albus!” He nearly chuckled as Albus turned in the door. The old wizard paused at the door frame looking at both of them ”I trust that Aurors are informed about the break-in.”

“They are, they are on their way.” Nodded Albus focusing his attention on Black as if he was trying to warn him to run. Black jerked back, darting his eyes madly from him to Albus to the door.

“Albus, can you please wait for me in the room?” He coldly asked the man, not lowering his gaze from Black.

“Severus…”

“It will be fine. I will join you shortly it is nearly the time” He told Albus, hoping that old wizard will read the situation correctly. Nearly sighing in the relief when Albus nodded and walked in the same direction as Lupin.

“You Impiroed them all!!!” Screamed Black.

“Your trust in my skill and lack of Albus’ skill is heartwarming Black. Why would a Potion master need Imperio? Dense as always, I see.” He drawled. ”As much as I would love to be the one who hands you over to Aurors…, at least I would not be denied of pleasure to see the infamous Kiss. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go and jam a silver dagger into my new pet, your ex boy-toy I believe.”

With a wild scream, Black launched at him, but he was faster, jabbing the tip of his wand under man’s chin. Feeling an undeniable pleasure as his words dripped poison.

“Do not deny me of ecstasy to watch you being Kissed, Black. Now do you desire for me to stun you, or you prefer waiting for Aurors here or … trying to run … perhaps? It makes no difference to me. I have a more interesting thing to do, things that even surpasses handing you over. “ He hissed, hoping that Black will choose running. 

He placed a tracking spell on him, but the time of transformation was nearing and he had to be in the cage with Lupin. At this point, even personal vendettas had to be cast aside. Lupin stayed of his own will and that knowledge pleased him.

“You won’t get away with this.” Barked Black retreating.

“And who is going to stop me? You?” He raised the eyebrow. Footsteps echoed against dungeon floor announced the approach of Aurors and Black snapped his head; he swiftly retreated to the door barking insults as he runs away.

For a split second, he was contemplating an idea to run after him and hex the sole life out of Black. He grinned, the damage he inflicted was far worse than granting Black a peace in death. With almost a jovial spring, he paced to the room.

Two sets of worried eyes darted in his direction as he entered the room and he nearly chuckled. Maintaining a calm demeanour informed them matter-of-factly

“He is alive. I let him escape but placed a tracking spell on him. Good luck with running. Lupin, I do think that this time, you should prepare yourself. We will grant you a commodity of privacy while transforming, I will enter your cage later.”

Lupin gulped and retreated reluctantly. Albus was silent for a while finally he spoke.

“Is everything ready for tonight?”

“Does he knows?”

“Knows what, my boy? Who?”  

“Lupin. Does he know that you remove the binding?” He asked calmly, Albus chuckled, his eyes glittering.

“Question is, how do you know?”

“For a long time Albus, no one managed to sneak up to me or enter my quarters without my knowledge.”

“So you knew.”

“Yes.”

“And you used that against Black, knowing that Lupin won’t follow?”

“He might have, I gave him a chance, it was a gamble. But I do not think that the bind stopped Lupin, he chose to be here tonight, do the honourable thing and follows true what he signed.”

“You look quite smug about it Severus.”

“Indeed.” He mussed ”It is nearly the time, Albus. Do not make sudden moves, and do not react before it is absolutely necessary. I do expect him to be … upset at one point at least.”

A strangled scream was barely audible, and they looked each other. Without a word, he removed his frock coat, his wand holster and wand placing them on the bed. Severus looked at Albus, as screams turned to feeble whimpers, and walked into the other room. Lupin was crumbled in a corner, his eyes looked terrified. He took 3 phials and a small jar, silver dagger and murmured the password, cage door opened to let him pass and locked behind him. Placing the items from his hands on the ground, he walked to the middle of the cage.

“You know what I have to do Remus, no lies, no deceits. You take your time and approach me when you are ready.”

His voice was calm and soft, shooting but his heart raced and he wished that he ignored Albus and took Heart calming potion tonight. On every other occasion, he would not care, but tonight Lupin had to be convinced that he is calm. Tonight he had to appear more than ready for what he was about to do. Lupin was whimpering, approaching his outstretched arm. He looked at beasts sorrowful eyes and sighed.

“Whenever you are ready Remus. I trust that you will not harm me.” He whispered as werewolf nuzzled his head against him. 

He could feel when the beast's muscles tensed. He breathed deeply trying to send reassuring feeling to Lupin through the link. He could feel the humming of magic, and two distinct feelings - one coercing him to proceed, the other fear. Fixing his eyes on Lupin, focusing on his movement and waves of emotions that rushed at him like the tide of conflicting currents, Snape gradually progressed backwards. Lupin was following him like a lost reluctant puppy.

He leaned to reach for the dagger, tossing a swift look of warning to Albus, hoping that Dobby could live up to his part if needed. He straightened, looked up and looked gaze with the beast. Calculating how much of potion retained in Lupin’s system by now he smiled, taking care that he does not frown at any cost. 

He stretched his hand with the dagger toward werewolf, allowing him to sniff the object. Measuring the length of the blade and tall but slender body of the beast.  _ The point of the exercise is to wound not kill or fatally injure, _  reminded himself. He stepped into the beast's space as if he wants to embrace it.

“I am not lying to you Remus, this is going to hurt, a lot.“ His voice was hitched in his throat as he squeezed the words. Tightening the grip on the handle he suddenly thrust his hand, jabbing the silver blade to the hilt in werewolf’s tie.

Everything happened in a blur, a split of a second, but to him, it looked like time slowed down to the point of slow motion. The beast roared and jerked backwards. He squeezed his hand around the hilt pulling the blade out. Then the snout clanged in front of his face, and he was next to Albus gasping for air.

 

###  **Just...don’t let me hurt him**

He could feel the Wolf in his mind, strong and willing to go through Snape’s plan. 

Even if his thoughts were not clear, and he had a problem naming things correctly, he was still able to think and feel. His body was changed but his mind was more or less his own. However, fear drew another part of his course, the part that with a help of a potion he easily controlled. 

Primal, mindless, savage. The true beast lurking in deepest corners of his mind.

He allowed Snape to get near him. He could hear the thundering of Snape’s heart, his breath irregular as he fought to control it. He could smell…reluctance. Not fear but a lack of desire to go through the plan. 

The wolf whispered in his head, flooding him with the sensation of internal turmoil and self-loathing. He understood, on some level, he was stunned at the richness of those emotions. He would bet his life that Snape would relish the opportunity to stab him. Words floated to him, strangled, sounding like all those feelings choked them as they were spoken.

“I am not lying to you, Remus. this is going to hurt, a lot.” 

_ We are ready for the pain, _ whispered Wolf to him, but he was not sure. He was, the Wolf was but the beast…was not. The beast was clawing his mind in desperate need of self-preservation.

Suddenly, a searing pain hit him. 

He lost a grip of the beast. 

He felt dislocated, present but unable to move or react. 

The beast roared in pain. 

It felt like acid was dripping inside his open flesh, burning through the muscle. In horror, he watched as jaws snapped in front of Snape's face.

_ Did I hurt him? Is he bitten? No! Merlin, no!!! _

His mind was screaming, flooded with panic.

_ The friend is unharmed, won’t harm a friend. I take care. _ Growled Wolf, calming him but he could feel the pain. Beast still roaring asking for blood, for retaliation. 

_ What did I do? _

But Wolf was still whispering to him. 

_ Friend safe. Friend want to help. Friend coming back to help. _ And the panic kicked in again. 

He fought to control the beast, to bend it to his will. He would never forgive himself if he bites . . . If he hurt or kill. He howled trying to warn Snape off, but the man was in front him again, holding a jar.

Snape’s heart was still beating fast, but he could smell concern. Pain ten folded now, his leg was on fire but his soul was aching as well. He calmed himself down, not realizing the meaning of words spoken to him but curling up as emotional pain outweighed the physical pain.  

###  **Let him lick his wounds and let me help him**

Haze danced in front of his eyes draped with the curtain of hair, heartbeats and ragged breath thundering in his ears. Hand still clenched around the hilt of the dagger. 

Wave after wave of agonizing pain, fear and panic crushing inside him, threatening to bring him to his knees. 

Slowly, surroundings started to come to focus. Dobby was dangling around his leg, not releasing. Albus was saying something to him, shaking his shoulder. He raised his hand into the air.

“I am fine.” He squeezed through gritted teeth. ”Not now, Albus, I have to focus. He is not severely injured.”

Albus released his shoulder, and he focused inwardly, reaching the link and blocking the rest, he will deal with fear later. Three sets of emotions swirled. 

One was the undiluted rage, murderous instinct in the purest form, feeble but present.

The second was panic, laced with fear and guilt - Remus. 

The third was the pain, need for help and relief from the searing pain, beckoning for help - the Wolf.

“Dobby, take me back into the cage.”

“Severus…”

“Professor Snape, sir don’t ask that of Dobby.” Whined elf

“He needs my help, just take me there and stay with me” He ordered, finally letting the dagger to loudly clang on the floor.

He was in the cage again. Summoning the jar, while Dobby was still holding his leg, clinging for the dear life, and he could not but wonder whose life. Beast was roaring and whining at the same time, retreating from his grasp. Annoyed he yelled, more so that werewolf could hear him than anything else.

“You wanted my help. Now stay put and let me help you.”

The beast stopped howling and growling, it fell silent, muscles tight and ready for attack. Nevertheless, it allowed him to approach, observing as he opened the jar. He held out the jar to the beast to sniff - growling Lupin sniffled the content. He took the portion of the jar content and softly whispered.

“This would not hurt, but it is going to be cold.” Noticing that his hands tremble when he put the balm on the bleeding wound. Werewolf howled and winced. Before he could do or say anything, he was next to Albus again.

“Dobby” He snapped at the elf.

“Dobby won’t let evil Mr Lupin hurt Professor Snape” Peeped elf.

“All right Dobby you can stay here.”

“You are not going inside again Severus, are you?” Asked Albus.

“I am. No harm will come to me tonight, not anymore. You can retreat Albus. The wound should heal during transformation, but you can check it for yourself in the morning.”

“Maybe you should let him to his own devices tonight.”

“How would you like me to jam a poisonous dagger in your tie and let you to your own devices, Albus?”

“Severus, you managed to get out of that cage unharmed maybe it is not smart to push your luck.”

“Me being unharmed tonight is short of a miracle. But in there, there is no harm for me. We played our parts, Albus, go now, rest and leave us. Let him lick his wounds and let me help him.” The bitterness drizzled from his voice.

“Very well. I’ll see you at morning Severus.” Sighed Albus and turned. 

He did not pay attention to the old wizard. Focusing on the beast, he entered cage again. Approached the whimpering werewolf who rushed to his side and nuzzled gratefully.

“Let me put some more of this balm to your leg and set the covers. I can read if you want.”

Beast lied down, allowing him to apply another swat of the balm to the injury, watching him as he took tick duvet and placed it on the ground, big enough for both of them. He took a book and the thin blanket and sit leaning against the wall. Remus dragged himself on the duvet and lied next to him. He started to read, tossing unsettling looks at the wound. Soon enough the beast was sleeping.

However, the sleep could not come to him tonight. His hands were shaking beyond the capability of control. His heart would thump like crazy then regain calm pace just to jolt again. Suddenly, the feeling of trust and gratitude spread through his chest, beast moved its head and placed it in his lap. Warmth soothed him, burying his trembling hands in fur he finally sank into sleep


	15. So, it is time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**Severus’s crime in the absence**

He was waking up slowly, his mind fuzzy and unclear. His leg was in pain, but he had a pillow, and it felt like something was massaging his scalp. He could sleep some more. Remus was not in pain apart from his leg, even after transformation, but he felt drained. A bit more sleep would not harm him until the time comes for someone to unlock the cage. He stretched his arms to scoop the pillow…

His head, the whole upper body flew into the air. 

The feeling of the message on his scalp replaced with a painful tug. Managing to stop just before his forehead meet the floor, Remus blinked dozily. His eyes opened wide as he noticed Snape crawling away with a hazy look in his eyes and horror written all over his face. Standing up and shaking the sleepiness Snape gave him one of his scorn gazes mumbling.

“You are naked again…”

“Hardly anything I can do about it after transformation.” He smiled.

“Yes.” Drawled Snape ”May I ask why do you nuzzle your face to my…lap?”

“You make a nice pillow.”

“Find another pillow or tree trunk or a chair leg to hump, Lupin.” Hissed Snape.

“And I was hoping that we are making a progress.” He laughed. ”I figure that Henry would mind.”

“I am certain that Henry would not mind, one way or another. How is your leg?” Dryly replied Snape with a smirk.

“It hurts, did I mauled it last night?”

“Don’t you remember?” Snape’s voice had a tilt of concern and he tried to remember what was happening last night. Pictures were blurry. 

_ Friend is unharmed _ , whispered voice in his head and memories rushed back to him. Snape’s face shimmering in front of him while his snout tried to bite him, his mind screaming, not able to control his body.

“Merlin!” He jumped to his feet. ”Did I hurt you?” 

His throbbing leg didn’t give him enough support and he started to slip down. He landed on Snape’s hands and nearly chuckled at the surprise on man’s face, guessing that catching him was more of an instinct than voluntary reaction.

“Where are your clothes?” Asked Snape in a grumpy voice.

“Clothes?”

“Yes Lupin, clothes. You know, pieces of material to cover your body. I am fairly certain that you owe some. At least a pair of underwear.” Drawled Snape.

“I…”

“Lupin, I refuse to put more balm on your leg while you are like this. Furthermore, I do not wish for Albus to barge in and find me holding you…unclothed.”

“They are in the iron box.” He snickered, the whole situation was amusing.

“Try to find your footing.” Grumbled Snape, shifting him so he could lean against the wall. When he had the support of a wall, Snape walked to the box and retrieved his clothes.

“I can put the balm.”

“I know, but I have to check on the healing process. Try to remember as much as you can about last night.”

“I will do my best. Severus,” He paused. ”did I…?” 

“I am fine Lupin, you didn’t scratch or bite me, obviously. Now, put some clothes on. I will contact Albus in the meantime.” Sighed Snape and mumbled the password leaving him alone.

He tried carefully to lean on his leg, the pain was there but his muscles provided him with enough support. Putting his clothes on tried to make few shaky steps. He was limping but he could walk.

“Severus!” He called. ”I would appreciate if you let me out now.”

Snape emerged on the entrance, waved his wand and returned to the room. Slowly he limped to the other room. Snape was fussing around some notes spread on his bead.

“Albus will be here shortly, did you drink your potions?”

“What potions?”

“Really Lupin…” Growled Snape. ”Accio!”

The phials that were in the cage buzzed through the air landing in Snape’s hand. He shoved them in his hands.

“One is a Pain numbing potion, one is Muscle repair potion and one is Blood replenish potion. Drink them all.”

“There was not much blood in the cage.”

“Didn’t you ever heard of Tergeo?” Snape arched his eyebrow. ”I had no desire of spending the night in a cell full of blood.”

He nodded and gulped each potion without further questions, by now he knew better, and he trusted Snape enough not to question his actions too much. After all, the man was insane enough to enter into the werewolf’s den without a wand. Crazy enough to jab the silver dagger in a werewolf and fortunate enough to stay alive and unharmed. Giving a thought about it, he was not so certain that he would do the same if the situation was different. 

Then again, he had personal knowledge of the beast’s perspective, Snape obviously lacked in that knowledge or he would be more reluctant to do that.  _ Or would he? _ Wondered Remus. Snape was a type of person who would step into the fire fully aware that he would be burned.

“Lupin, take down your trousers and sit.” Snape’s voice snapped him out of the string of thoughts. He grinned.

“Just a few minutes ago, you scoffed me for not wearing my trousers.”

“I also told you that I have to examine your wound.”

“Yes, yes you did. How forgetful of me.” He teased.

“How does your leg feel?” Snape ignored provocation.

“It hurts. The material does not leave pleasant feeling on the sore area. I limp, but it gives me sufficient support.” Snape nodded waiting for him to unbutton his trousers with a semi-disgusted look on his face, Remus almost laughed aloud. 

He lowered his pants, feeling silly and bit uncomfortable, with his trousers wrinkled around his knees while he lied on the bed.

Snape’s expression changed almost immediately spreading focused attention all over his face. A minute later Albus walked into the room and he bit his lip to stop the laughter looking at old wizards face.

“Remus, Severus” Greeted Albus with slight amusement chuckle in his voice.

“Albus” Squeezed suppressing the laughter.

“Mhm” Was Snape’s reply and he nearly punctured his lip biting harder.

Snape was probably unaware of sight before Albus’s eyes or he would not be so absent-minded in his reply or position. He could just imagine how the whole situation looked like from Albus’s perspective. 

He was lying sideways on the bed with his trousers pooled around his knees. Snape was crouching next to the bed, head bend over his leg, probing the flesh around the wound, trailing his fingers down the length of the muscle, checking for deep tissue damage. 

The wound alone was different from other scares, slightly reddish with a deep silver vein down his leg. Snape took a jar with balm and spread it around the entry point and along the silver line.

“Wait until is it soaked, and then you can dress up. Moreover, I will greatly appreciate if you stay dressed Lupin.” Drawled Snape turning to Albus. ”You will be pleased to know that wound is healed nicely, no internal damage and just a slight scarring. For the rest, Lupin can inform us both.”

“Thank you, Severus.” Hiccupped Albus.

“Lupin, you can dress now. Do try to stay that way, some of my students starting to do Potions with their eyes closed and I am afraid that you even teach in the state of … au natural.”

“They keep their eyes closed so they don’t have to look at you, I’m afraid.” He chuckled and Snape looked at him with a smile.

“No need to look at me, they should focus on ingredients and potion they brew. Dunderheads should know that by now.”

“My boys. Remus do you feel strong enough to tell us how it went last night, from your perspective?” interrupted Albus. He sat on the bed with a sigh

“It is hard to explain. I was scared, at one point I lost control.” He closed his eyes still shaken by the image and sensation of raging beast. ”Wolf was the one with a clear head. But Severus, there is a part of the beast that is untamed and still very…”

“I am very well aware of that Lupin. Nevertheless, you did control your actions, otherwise, I would not be standing here.”

“I nearly bit you.”

“Yes, and if someone does attempt to do to you what I did, I pity his destiny. You went for me, not for Dobby and you did not even glance at Albus.”

“I could have…”

“It still would not matter; you do have your contract, do you?” 

He blinked at the man.  _ Is he insane? _

But Snape already turned to Albus. ”The only thing left to do is to break the Link. My work is done. I would appreciate if you approve his return to his quarters and give me back my solitude.”

Panic rose at those words, he started to chew on his cheek. The Wolf purred with approval his own mind refused to let go of the safeguard rope.

“I believe that Remus is disagreeing with your idea Severus.” Albus mildly pointed at him and Snape turned his gaze to him.

“Do you have something to say Lupin?” He felt like a student under the Potion Master’s stare.

“I don’t think that is smart, what if I…”

“If I were you, I would like to know how I react without a mental muzzle, for one. In 7 days, you are going to be on your way from here and by the time you leave, Link has to be broken. As well, as the bind.” Snape swiftly looked Albus beneath the eye. ”I did not plan to do it right away, you need to rest first so you have time to think about it. If you decide otherwise I will oblige, only…for the rest of your stay here. I am not allowing you to leave if the Link is not broken.”

“Why?”

“Why? Why?” Sneered Snape ”Even you are not that dense Lupin. On the other hand, I might give you too much credit. If you cannot see the reason behind my words, consult your alternate personality. He will know.”

“Rest now Remus, I’d love to see you this evening and talk to you.” Smiled Albus. ”You will notify me of your decision then. And since Severus did inform the student body about your condition…”

“When?”

“Last night.” Calmly replied Albus and Snape only smirked.

“But he was with me, all evening and night, how could he…”

“How indeed, I wonder.” Snape sounded smugly sarcastic and the idea dawned on him.

“You don’t think… He would not.”

“No! How…sweet…of you. He did come to … rescue … you. Noble indeed. Nevertheless, I would be careful, Lupin, he did forget to bring the flowers.”

“But…but…. I am just too tired for this right now...” He finally opted for the rest, his mind was swirling in a blizzard of thoughts.

“Go to your quarters Lupin, sleep on your decision and send me a note by Dobby when you make up your mind. By the time you wake up, house-elves will put your things back in your premises. Do leave the table in a small room; you do not need it for transformation anymore. I will come to you; you overstayed your welcome here.” Snape pushed him into a fireplace and thrown a handful of dust at him calling ‘Lupin’s room’

Blinking he landed in his room which looked cold and unwelcoming at this moment. Too tired to think he slumped on the bed and fell asleep.

 

**What did I do?**

“You could be nicer to him Severus” Albus scorned him the moment Remus disappeared in the fireplace.

“I do not feel particularly inclined to that anymore, Albus.”

“He grew on you, didn’t he?” Chuckled old wizard

“Yes,” He drawled. ”Like an ulcer. My part is done. You named him ‘my biggest research’ and you were right - he was. I finished my research and I can let my test pets run free.” Turning his gaze to Albus he grinned. ”Will you be kind to tell me what exactly did I do last night while I was locked in a cage with a werewolf?”

“You were nearly bitten. Escaped that predicament and after the danger was gone rushed me out your quarters, quite rudely I might add.”

“I will call it on the shock of being nearly bitten. If I were to myself, there would be no doubt, whether I was rude or not. My apologies, Albus. And my double, what did he do? Alternatively, I could find out tomorrow morning in the gathering at the local waterhole.”

“Oh, that!” Chuckled Albus

“Yes, that.” He sat in one armchair offering other to Albus, tray with tea appeared on the table. ”And?”

“You entered in your common room around 22:30.”

“Common room was full, of course.” He fought to hide the grin.

“Naturally, and announced that there is a loose werewolf in school hallways and since you can’t find DADA professor you are going to hunt it down by yourself. You also told them that you don’t want to see them in hallways and that you don’t want to worry about them being bitten.” Calmly explained Albus.

“And they believe that?” He gasped, that didn’t sound even one bit like him.

“Of course they didn’t. Students are not stupid, Severus.”

“I beg to differ, do continue.”

“They called Bloody Baron and asked him if there is really a werewolf in school.”

“And Bloody Baron told them the truth.”

“Naturally. They send me a note informing me that they had an intruder in the Slytherin common room and asked if you are all right. They worried that something happened to their Head of House. By the time I managed to get to Slytherin common room, plenty students put 2 and 2 together - that their DADA teacher is in fact werewolf in question. They asked me to look for you and be sure he didn’t hurt you in any way, knowing that you worked closely with him in past months. Draco floo-called his father to notify Auror office about Black breaching Slytherin common room.”

“They organized a rescue mission and a hunting party, and stayed in a dorm at the same time.” He could not hide the pride from his voice. ”It is nice to know they learned how to play to their strengths.”

“I expect that letters will start to arrive no later than this afternoon.”

“Why the pretences then? Lupin will have to vacant school grounds much sooner.”

“I’m afraid so. I will explain to him tonight and I urge you to be ready for dismantling the link.”

“Destroying something was always easier than building it, no preparations are necessary.”

 

**So, it is time...**

Remus blinked, wide stripes of sunlight fell into a room and across his face. Blinking at the ceiling in confusion, it took him few seconds to remember where he is. 

Memories rushed back and he groaned. 

Getting up he tested a muscle on his injured leg, muscles provided him easy support that was a good news. Walking around his room, he frowned; only now this room seemed small. When he arrived at Hogwarts, after dingy taverns and more often than he cared to remember tents or plain open sky, he had a stable roof over his head. 

_ You can’t afford to be picky. _

After so many years living from day to day, he had something he could count on.

He still had a job, and a roof over his head and supply of Wolfsbane Potion, he had no right to complain. Still, he hoped to stay a few days more in Hogwarts, spend some time with rest of the staff, talk more with Dumbledore, and play few more games of chess with Snape. 

He sighed, Sirius…Well, Sirius was just being Sirius, never thinking things through. A nagging voice in the back of his head, suspiciously sounding lot as if Snape’s, voicing his doubts. With a surprise, he discovered that he is angry at Black for his careless stunt, tossing himself on a bed, tried to battle those feelings - their friendship depended on one level on his ability to forgive. 

Finally, he decided to give himself some time. Wolf was growling in the back of his head and that was not easy to ignore. 

_ Calm down, he is a friend to, give yourself a time to know him. _

Wolf just growled again. Remus sighed, there was no use in pondering about things at this point, and he had to choose his course.

His things were back in the room, unpacked. Deciding that lingering in Hogwarts is impossible now, he was happy that at least packing part is done. He will tell Snape to break a link, say his goodbyes to Albus and spend few days in wizarding London before his job with Gringotts starts. With new determination, he stood up

“Dobby. Dobby!” He called, a little elf appeared with a soft pop.

“Yes Mr Lupin, sir.”

“Can you please tell Severus that I am ready, whenever he considers it a good time?”

“Ready for what sir?”

“He will know.”

“Anything else sir?”

“No Dobby, that is all. Thank you.” The elf just nodded and disappeared again.

He took a parchment and scribbled a note to Dumbledore, loudly notifying another elf’s that note has to be delivered instantly. Rummaging through his things, he decided that shower and fresh clothes are in order. Dobby popped up again.

“Mr Lupin, sir. Professor Snape sends you a message; he will be at your place in one hour.”

“Thank you, Dobby. This is for all your troubles with me.” He smiled giving a galleon to the elf. Dobby widened his eyes.

“That is too much Mr Lupin, sir. Dobby can’t take that.” Squealed elf.

“Yes you can, you deserved it.”

“But I jinxed your hair, sir!”

“And it was well deserved. Dobby, can I ask you for one favour?” Elf nodded and he continued to talk. ”Can  **you** take care of professor Snape for me? I know I failed in that promise to you, but I know that you won’t fail. Take care of him. And if he needs me, find me and bring me to him, no matter where I am. Can you do that?”

“Dobby can. Mr Lupin sir, you do care for professor Snape?”

“More than you imagine Dobby, more than even he can imagine.” He smiled. ”Now, take this.” He forced a coin into the elf’s hand and turned to his trunk. He had enough time to shower before Snape arrives.

An hour later, he was sitting in small and not so comfortable armchair when his fireplace burst to life with green flames. Snape stepped into his room, looking menacing as always. Trying to cover up slight tremble, he smiled.

“So, it is time.”

“I believe so.” Calmly replied Snape.

“What should I do?”

“Calm yourself, for one. Just sit there and relax, and look me in the eyes.”

“We going to do this now?”

“I do not see the reason for the delay, do you?”

“No, no I don’t. Yes, that is for the best I suppose.” He sighed and placed himself in the comfortable position. 

Thinking about first time, they did that, it was not painful, he didn’t even feel anything. Unlike real Legilimency this was not unpleasant or intrusive. Snape stood in front of him, looking at him from above.

“Just relax, Lupin. I will not hurt you.”

“I know.”

“Legilimency.” Whispered Snape. 


	16. The game of chess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: From now on I have to give special thanks to my dear Jess, without her and her knowledge of chess last few chapters wouldn’t be possible. <3
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**Breaking the Link**

Entering Lupin’s mind again, he took notice of his surroundings. Lupin’s thoughts were much more organized and calmer, apparently, he made a peace with the notion of his dual personality. He could sense the Wolf, looming around, following him as strange as that sounded. There was no need for searching he knew where to go. Brushing away memories and thoughts, he went straight to the link.

The link was pulsating, its golden threads trembling, he could feel Wolf, trying to convey a message but the notion was too distant. The moment his mind touched the link whole area was flooded with the almost palatable word  _ for later _ . Suddenly, a rush of emotions mixed with some images flew through the link. Snape gasped, feeling dizzy, his chest constructed under the pressure he felt. 

Breathing deeply to calm himself, he focused on the task at hand. The link was still vibrating from the sudden transfer, waiting for Link to calm down he idly wondered if it produced any sound. As far as he knew human mind, another humans mind was the quietest place he visited, memories were just mute images inside the head.

The Link stopped trembling and he started to dismantle it, one thread at the time, careful not to damage the structure of Link or to break the threads. He had to give credit to the Lupin, he kept his mind clear of thoughts and fear. After some good 8 minutes, Link was broken.

He was looking at one single, thin silver thread. For a long time, that seemed to him like hours he was watching it, deliberating. Finally, with a heavy sigh, he started to dismantle that thread too. It did not take him long, but he was treading carefully with breaking this last connection they shared, lingering may be longer than even necessary. When the silver thread was broken, he just stared at empty space in front of him, wondering, hating himself for the weakness.

Pulling himself out from Lupin’s mind, he blinked.

“How do you feel?” Lupin was looking at him, blinking.

“Fine, same as before. Wait…” Lupin’s voice was quiet and shaky, his heart skipped a beat, all kinds of doubts filled his mind.

_ Did I manage to damage his mind somehow, what went wrong? _

“I can’t sense you.” Gasped Lupin.

“Care to explain that?”

“Your smell, and your heart beats, I can block them now.”

“Is that all that is different?” He asked feeling like a huge boulder just rolled off his chest.

“Yes, everything else is the same. Strange, I feel like I lost something.”

“Your mind perhaps.” He offered with a sarcastic sneer. ”Get yourself packing Lupin, you have to see Albus and leave  **my** school.”

“Your concern for me warms my heart, Severus.” Smiled Lupin sheepishly.

“Yes.” He mumbled. ”Goodbye and good riddance, Remus.”

“Oh, we will see each other before I leave.” Grinned Lupin looking at him disappearing into the fireplace.

“I know that.” He mumbled to the empty room.

Severus walked to the armchair and sat in it, closing his eyes, eager to see the message conveyed to him through Link.

First, he had to do something, summoning a parchment and quill he crossed the last task of his list.

Test reaction to cuts with silver in human form.

Talk to Doddy

Finish the paper; make sure to cut off Albus and his future meddling!

Break the Link

Stop administering the second potion

Placing a parchment carefully on the small table he sighed, focusing on the message. Looking at images, he pinched root of his nose, feeling the prickling in the eyes. Drawing one ragged breath, he focused on the roaring flames, staring at them.

 

**Finally meeting Henry**

Remus placed himself in a chair opposite of Albus. It was late afternoon, he finished with packing, and sending all his things beforehand to Leaky Cauldron. The only thing left was to say his goodbyes. Old wizard was looking at him over his half-moon glasses.

“Remus, my boy, toffee?”

“No, thank you, Albus.”

“I’m afraid my boy,…” Started Albus, but, he cut him off.

“Albus, I know. I understand the situation. I do not understand Sirius, but then again he was never much of a thinker, to begin with.”

“Yes, most unfortunate. Pity.”

“What was done is done. No use on pondering over it. I did hope to spend more time here, but my work is finished, all grades assigned. I came to say goodbye.”

“Did you…”

“Yes. He was in my quarters a few hours ago, the Link is broken.”

“You sound sad.”

“I feel like I lost something.”

“Is all alright?”

“Yes, physically I’m not different in any way, but…” He waved his hand. ”This is just a stupid notion.”

“You care for him.”

“Yes, deeply. I consider him my friend, even if he denies me of the same feelings.” He paused and Albus looked at him carefully, waiting. ”Albus, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, and I will do my best to answer you.”

“Why…, why did you do that to him?”

“Did what?”

“Make him swear an oath not to harm me. How could you place him in such danger, defenceless?”

“My dear boy, Severus is many things, one thing he is not is defenceless. Not even with his feet and hands tied and his eyes blinded. I never placed him in more danger than he can handle.”

“I think you are wrong Albus. I think you misjudge him greatly. He was in a danger, much bigger than you anticipated, and not from me. Maybe you don’t know him as good as you think.”

“What on earth made think that?” Albus sounded amused.

“For one, you placed me at his quarters. He,…. You separated him from Henry.”

“Severus told you about Henry?”

“Well, not told me, he is a private person, but I overheard Dobby and him talking, he asked Dobby to send his message to Henry.”

“Ah. Well, I can assure you that there is no harm in my actions.”

“I don’t know, Albus…”

“Trust me, my boy. Severus can afford to be separated from Henry, no harm will come to them by my actions.” Smiled Albus. ”Now, I arranged you to stay in Leaky Cauldron until your work for Gringotts starts.”

“Thank you. I already sent my things. If that is all, I would like to say goodbye to Severus and leave.”

“Didn’t you already parted?”

“He thinks we did.” Grinned and walked toward the door. ”I’ll see you around Albus.”

Walking down from the second floor to the dungeons, he felt a sharp pang of sorrow and pain. Realizing how much he considered this place a home, maybe more than any other so far. He will have to talk with Sirius if he manages to see him again. 

_ Why did he have to remind me what annoyed me about him so much, only after I found out that he is innocent, only days after I finally thought that I didn’t lose all that was dear to me? _ He lamented silently. 

However, a voice in his head reminded him that things are different now; he had a Wolf and Snape, as unwilling as he was to acknowledge their friendship. He sighed, most students backed away from him as he was passing through the dungeons. He mumbled the password and entered the Snape’s quarters, paused in the laboratory just for a second, remembering every inch of it. He came to like this dark and meticulously organized part of the dungeon. Walking down the small hallway, he entered so familiar room.

The room looked almost the same as the first time he visited it. Snape was nowhere around. With no small amount of curiosity, he strolled toward the door for the cage room, wanting to see it in its original setting. Sharp, high-pitched voice that sounded oddly inhuman stopped him in his tracks.

“Intruder, intruder!”

Spinning around to determine the sound of the voice, he noticed a silver stand near the bead. A large black raven stood on the crossbar, looking him with disdain.

“Well, hello there, nice to meet you.” He smiled, backing away, knowing that animals did not react well to him. The bird looked strangely unaffected by his presence.

“Intruder!” Screeched bird again.

“What is wrong Henry?” Called Snape from the bathroom.

“I came to say goodbye!” Called Lupin louder and turned to the bird. ”So you are Henry?” 

The bird didn’t answer but looked at him the same way Snape was looking at his students.

“What are you doing here, Lupin? Didn’t we say goodbye already?” Drawled Snape, coming to the room. The bird looked at him and swooped to his shoulder.

“Bad man, intruder!”

“Smart bird.” Snape twitched corner of the lip. ”Go to your place, Henry. I will get rid of the intruder.”

The bird pecked on a strand of his hair and swooped back to its place. He was looking with amusement, animal suited Snape somehow.

“I didn’t know you have a pet.”

“Henry is not a pet.”

“He’s not?”

“No. He is…what he is. He is a smart bird, but not a pet.”

“Odd of you to keep him in your quarters.”

“One of the dunderheads had him as a pet, when he got new animal he simply abandoned Henry. He was sick and malnourished, and for some reason scared of Hagrid, he seemed fond of me so Albus asked me to cure him. He just…stayed. He is not a pet, he just is…here.”

“He doesn’t seem to be afraid of me.”

“Intruder! Bad man!”

“Yes, yes I know. I’m sorry for scaring you.” He smiled at the bird who ruffled its feathers and squawked at him. ”Before I leave there is one thing I’m wondering about.”

“Mhm.”

“That morning, when I saw you…you used a cream of sorts on your hair…” 

Snape was looking at him with annoyance, for a second he thought that he will throw him out of the room, but Snape just walked into the bathroom and returned with a single bottle of semi-thick liquid. He tossed a bottle to Lupin who barely managed to catch it.

“Here, can you go now?” Grumbled Snape.

“What is it?”

“A shampoo, for washing your hair.” Sneered Snape.

“But…”

“Didn’t you learned anything, Lupin? You wanted it, I provided you with what you asked for. Now leave.”

“There is….” He stuttered

“State your business Lupin.” Snape had scoff on his face, his voice was calm as always with a hint of boredom.

“I just wanted to…”

“Let me talk to him.” Snape’s voice was sharp and demanding.

“He can hear you.”

“I do not wish to talk to both of you. I want to talk to him alone.” Growled Snape.

 

**A game of chess**

Looking at Lupin, he was not sure what the man was doing in his quarters again. He wasn’t even sure that Lupin knew why he was here, at his quarters once again. He tossed a glance at Henry, the bird looked more annoyed by the sudden appearance of the unfamiliar face than scared of Remus. 

Severus was unsure how to react, what to say. Mulling over a message in his head, still fighting to regain his calm. All this was new territory for him, and as far as he was concerned, removing the source of insecurity from his surroundings was the best course of action.

_ The message! _ Suddenly he realized it was a good thing that Lupin showed up, he could ask Wolf to explain. He had to know.

“Let me talk to him.”

“He can hear you.” Lupin looked utterly confused.

“I do not wish to talk to both of you. I want to talk to him alone.” He growled.

For a second it looked like Lupin is going to argue more, but then Lupin’s facial expression changed

_ Boy don’t like me in control. _ The gruff voice answered.

“I got your message.”

_ You understand, let the time pass you’ll understand. Don’t want explain.  _

“Fair enough. I….”

_ I take care of the boy, no harm comes to boy. _ Nodded Wolf.

“Good.” He felt at loss. ”Keep him away from me. If you want him safe, you keep him away.”

_ I ask. _ Stated Wolf.

“Ask.”

_ You boys friend, don’t lie, you care for the boy. Give boy something.  _

“Like a gift, memento?”

_ No, no gift. Keep in touch. He need it. Boy is sad, boy lost a lot. Boy is scared he’ll lose friend. That game you play.  _

“Chess?”

_ Yes. Play a game. Write and play a game. _

“You are a lot smarter than you let us see.”

_ I know what boy know.  _

“You know lot more. If I play a game of chess by letter with Lu…boy, will that keep him safe?”

_ Yes, boy happy, easy to control. _

“We have a deal. I will do my part and you will keep him safe. He cannot know…”

_ Not from me. Boy come now. _ Stated Wolf and Lupin’s face changed expression. ”What…What is all this Snape?”

“Nothing, I wanted to say ‘goodbye’.”

“And I couldn’t hear that?” Spat Lupin, he sighed.

“Wolf beat me up, we had to … clear up some misunderstandings. It is all fine now.” He waved dismissively, Lupin tried to speak but it seemed that he was lost at words. He tossed a look around the room thinking about Wolf’s words. 

_ Why not? _

”Come here Lupin. Remus.” He called softly.

Walking a few paces to the corner where sat a small table with a game of chess under a protective charm, he waved his hand again. Remus looked at him with surprise.

“I believe that you know the layout of the pieces by heart, Merlin knows I caught you watching it enough times.”

“Yes, yes I know the layout.” Stuttered Lupin.

“Good. You are Withe.”

“Severus! Are you,…are you sure? That game seemed important to you.”

“It is important. Maybe it is time to finish it.” He took a black queen and moved it diagonally to B6 ”Remember this, next move is yours.”

“Now?”

“No, not now Lupin, do not be thick. Owl me your move.” He sneered, Lupin looked at him wide-eyed.

“You mean… You want us to stay in contact!” Happiness spill all over Lupin’s face.

“We are going to stay in contact, Lupin. I’ll continue to make your Wolfsbane potion. This, … there are no good chess players around, and I just want to finish this bloody game.” He grumbled, dosing his voice with annoyance he didn’t feel.

“I…thank you, Severus.”

“I swear to Merlin, Lupin if you even think of hugging me,…I. Will. End. You.” Warned Severus.

“No hugging then.” Laughed Lupin. ”Well, that’s it, expect my owl, Severus.” Smiled Lupin and turned to leave, he nodded to Lupin’s back.

“Remember what I told you, Remus, no one can know.” He reminded Lupin who just nodded and waved, not turning around.

Long after he was alone in the room, he continued staring at the entrance were Lupin disappeared. Finally, he summoned the bottle of wine and poured himself a glass, sitting in the armchair and looking at flames, wondering why was fate testing him in such cruel ways.


	17. Letters (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have to give special thanks to my dear Jess, without her and her knowledge of chess last few chapters wouldn’t be possible. <3 
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**The first letter**

The first letter arrived just before the beginning of the next school year. The owl swooped into his classroom and dropped the letter atop of his head, while he was checking supplies in the potion ingredients storeroom. Swearing under the breath, mumbling about the contamination he picked up the letter eyeing it as if it is going to explode. 

Opening the envelope, he went straight to the signature and froze; his hand trembled a bit for a fraction of a second. Locking the storeroom and his classroom, he rushed to his quarters. Henry screeched when he sat at the secretary table lighting the candles with a flick of the wrist.

“ **Dear friend,**

**I am finally settled into my new workplace and I have time to write to you. Funny, for the best part of my life I didn’t have a chance to write a letter to a friend. I did write some work-related letters but not a personal one, I’m not even sure where to begin or what to say.**

**Well, I can’t disclose my location, but I can tell you that it feels like I’m on vacation. I know that you are at school now, making preparations or arrival of students. In a way, I envy you. Teaching those kids is reward its own. I know, I know you would disagree with me on that.**

**I miss our evening games of chess. I miss Hogwarts, it is home more than any other place. And,….I honestly don’t know what to say. Give my best to Dobby and treat to Henry. Until the next letter…**

**Sincerely yours**

**R.L.**

**P.S.: Pawn to A5** ”

He read the letter couple of times, allowing a weak smile to shade his face. Feeling restless and almost excited he took a piece of parchment and quill, he paused, placed a quill on the parchment and leaned back on the chair. Taking a deep breath he took Lupin’s letter and fold it carefully placing it in the letterbox. Marking a day on the calendar, he stood up. He will answer him in a few days.

 

**The first reply**

Lupin was sitting behind his desk, filling a form. He sighed, he did that most of the time nowadays. An owl landed on his desk and dropped the letter, he fed her a treat not even paying attention to the envelope. So many letters he received daily and not one of them was the one he hoped to receive. Months passed by and he convinced himself that he won’t get a reply.

Hours later, he reached for the new pile of letters, noticing a Hogwarts crest on the first letter. He looked at the clock, work hours were over long time ago. He picked up the letter, called to the nearest goblin that he is done for the day and run out of the office. He nearly ran all the way to the Inn where he was housed, not even bothering to remove the cloak landed on the bed and eagerly opened the letter.

“ **Lupin,**

**Your letters seem to be as eloquent as you are, how refreshing. First things first, my apologies for a long time that took me to reply, I can assure you that your chess move was not the reason.**

**As I am sure, you already know what happened at the calling out of the champions for Triwizard Tournament (you are lucky not to be here, it is a normal Hogwarts zoo times tree). You can imagine how frantic everyone is and Potter is twice the menace than usual. Needless to say, I have full hands of work. If Albus told me we are going to house the Tournament, I would take the sabbatical.**

**Things are turning for the worse on other fronts, it is not obvious to many but consider yourself warned.**

**Finding you is not that difficult, especially if you use that particular breed of an owl, do try to be careful in the future. Dobby was happy and asked me to say ”Thank you Mr Lupin, Sir.” and to send you his regards.**

**Yours truly,**

**S.S.**

**P.S.: Put a little effort, I do not want to dance with you until the end of the eternity. Pawn to A 7 .** ”

He laughed.

“That snarky dungeon bat.” he laughed for a long time, reading the letter over and over again.

 

**The second letter**

Two months later, Lupin’s reply arrived.

“ **Severus,**

**Your letter brought me a great joy. I never knew how pleasurable it is to receive a letter from a friend. I am truly grateful for your suggestion.**

**Hogwarts full of students from other schools! That must be magnificent! Albus sent me a short note with last Wolfsbane, informing me that you had a Yule Ball this year, I’m sorry that I missed it. Hogwarts is always festive during the holidays; I bet it was twice as festive this year.**

**I am also concerned about Harry’s participation in the Tournament, but I am sure that he is well protected, even by you. I wish to say don’t keep me waiting for the next letter but I do know that it is impossible.**

**I don’t know what is taking turn for the worse, but knowing you I’ll found out before I get a straight answer from you. Take care of our boy and give Dobby my regards.**

**Yours,**

**R.L.**

**P.S.: Why? I love to dance, let’s see how good of a dancer you are. Pawn to B6.** ”

He grinned Lupin did not disappoint him. It was late at night and he was relaxing in his room, reading when a letter arrived. He looked at the fire than his eyes fall on the mark on his left forearm, pale mark on his hand was darker, much darker for his liking. He sighed wondering how it feels to live like Lupin, in blissful ignorance. Rubbing his temple, he placed this letter next to the previous one in the letterbox.

 

**The second reply**

It was near the end of the school year when Lupin received the next letter, reading it for the fifth time he frowned. He got the news few days before from Albus, and he was ready to leave by the end of that week but this letter sounded much darker and sinister than Albus was letting it on.

“ **Lupin,**

**As you know - he is back. We will see each other soon, I urge you to remember what I told you (you know how I hate to repeat myself).**

**He is back. There is not much I can tell you about course this will take. Soon enough all of us will assume our old roles.**

**Faithfully,**

**S.S**

**P.S.: Honestly Lupin, me? Dancing? Find a date for that. Black queen A8** ”

 

**The third letter**

“ **Severus,**

**This feels stupid, I see you almost more now than I did at Hogwarts while I was residing in our quarters, and you barely talk to me. I know what you said, I respect that, but ignoring me completely?**

**We could at least play a decent game of chess at the Grimmauld place after the next meeting. Being locked up with Sirius is not as fun as I it would hope to be. Between avoiding him and that persistent kid, I am willing to do anything to save myself, even for a bit. Are you sure, you don’t need me as a lab rat?**

**Desperately,**

**R.L.**

**P.S.: Woho, you want to tango! You know what they say - it takes two to tango (I did follow your advice as you can see). Rock to C7.** ”

 

**The third reply**

“ **Lupin,**

**Stop acting like a lovesick puppy, go find a chair leg and hump on it. I do have other obligations besides sitting around and avoiding people that annoy me. In fact, every time I am at a Grimmauld place I am surrounded by people that annoy the life out of me.**

**Faithfully,**

**S.S.**

**P.S.: You missed something if you think I want to dance the tango with you. Tango, Lupin, is a dance of seduction, and I do not want to seduce you. Knight to F5.** ”

 

**The fourth letter**

“ **Severus,**

**Do you have to pick on Sirius all the time? Do you have any idea how worked up he gets after? And I am there with him. Add Albus to the mix and... They are unbearable.**

**Keep the kids at school safe, you are their only hope now.**

**Fatefully,**

**R.L.**

**P.S.: You don’t want to tango with me? I’m heartbroken. Knight to C3** ”

 

**Reply to the fourth letter**

“ **Lupin,**

**Keep that mad dog on a leash and I will not have to ”pick” on him (was that the phrase? What are you, 12?).**

**Things are getting back to the way they supposed to be, we are heading to the dark times, soon none of us will be safe.**

**Faithfully,**

**S.S.**

**P.S.: Stop tap-dancing or I will stop playing. Bishop to E7** ”

 

**The fifth letter**

“ **Do me a favour, if you can’t say anything nice about him, better not say anything at all. I am truly alone now. I have one friend that doesn’t want to be my friend. I am the truly pathetic excuse of a… can I be called human being at all?**

**Soon I’ll go to the underground, I won’t be taking Wolfsbane potion while I’m there. If I manage, I’ll take some notes for you.**

**R.L.**

**P.S.: Knight to D5 - you lose a pawn.** ”

Looking at the letter, he shook his head. Lupin was sorrowful sight these days. He barely looked at him, at anyone, on the previous meetings. 

His own life was complicated beyond explanation at that point.

Voldemort and Albus were on his back constantly, running after Potter and his patsy was exhausting. Running after Potter, his friends and Draco was a nightmare. Thinking about events from the beginning of the school year... 

Lupin had something good in his life if he could pull his head out of misery for one second. He placed all his hopes into the Wolf, wondering why he is letting Lupin wallow in this self-imposed sorrow. He had the desire to grab Lupin by the shoulders and shake him until he realizes how lucky he really is.

 

**The most unexpected reply to the fifth letter**

Remus blinked at the letter he just read, checking every syllable, looking for any sign that letter was fake. He was not sure if he should laugh or cry.

“ **Lupin,**

**I am sorry for your loss. I know that words cannot convey true feelings but if there is any way that I can help, let me know and I will do my best to accommodate you (and no, I am NOT sorry for him, too much bad blood, but I am sorry for** **YOUR** **loss).**

**Thank you for thinking about me and my research, if you manage to take notes I appreciate it. Just be sure to stay alive long enough to bring them to me.**

**Your friend,**

**S.S**

**P.S.: Knight to D4 - you lose pawn too** .”

He read the letter again, this did not sound like Snape. With a heavy sigh, he packed the letter with the other letters.

 

**The sixth letter**

He was sitting in his room in Malfoy Manor, pacing like a caged animal, on the floor beneath him Dark Lord was punishing a group of lower ranked Death Eater that displeased him. He was safe, finally, safe from punishments, safe from pain, but at what price. He nearly jumped when elf popped up.

“Professor Snape, they are saying bad things about you.”

“Dobby, shhh. Be quiet, you are going to get us both killed. What are you doing here?”

“I brought you a letter, sir. Letter from Mr Lupin.” Peeped the elf giving him an envelope. ”Owl delivered it at Hogwarts.”

“Thank you Dobby, now go. Go and stay away until I call for you.”

“Yes, Professor Snape. Dobby will go. But, who will take care of you? You look so thin and tired, sir.”

“I will be fine Dobby, go now.” He urged the elf who disappeared with a pop.

He opened the letter wondering, in all honesty, does he want to know. Part of him was telling him to toss unopened letter into the fire, but part of him wanted to know.

“ **You betrayed … me … us. Next time we meet, you are a dead man.**

**P.S.: Watch after friend, friend be safe. Knight to D4 (your knight gone).** ”

Lupin was obviously having a dual opinion about recent developments, at least Wolf still believed in him. That is one and probably the only one who does. He hid the letter and buried the memory of it deep in the hidden parts of his mind.

A loud knock echoed through the room, a muffled voice called.

“Sir, our Lord wants to talk to you.”

He sighed, pulled the mask of indifference on his face and opened the door. Following nameless lower ranking Death Eater. Near the entrance of the main hall, on the ground trembling bodies were piled up, the punishment was over. In the main dining room, behind a long dining table, a number of high-ranking Death Eaters was sitting. Voldemort was standing next to the window, looking outside.

“My Lord.” He bowed deeply in front of Voldemort waiting to get permission to sit in his place at the table.

“Severus! Come walk with me. I can’t stand these useless leeches.” Called him Dark Lord, standing straight he approached to his right side and stayed step or two behind. Dark Lord was pacing slowly around the room. ”I am very pleased with you Severus. You made me proud.”

“My Lord.”

“Come now, no need for false humility. I was told that he begged you.”

“Yes, he did my Lord.”

“Let me see.” The disfigured face of Dark Lord turned to him. 

He kneeled in front of him, opening parts of his mind for the intrusion. The pain hit him, blinding his sight. He played Albus’s death for Voldemort, showing him well-selected parts about present Death Eaters. Dark Lord pulled from his mind none too gently, leaving him with a massive headache. He weakly pulled on his feet, Voldemort was grinning. 

”You made me truly proud Severus. Unlike some, like you Bella.”

Before Bellatrix was able to say anything Voldemort send a curse at her, she shrieked contorting under the Cruciatus. He was watching with idle indifference, gloating internally.

“You wanted to take what is mine, Bella. I cannot let that go unpunished.” Hissed Dark Lord. ”You are the only one I can truly trust Severus.”

“I am unworthy of that honour my Lord.”

“You deserve it.” Purred Voldemort, releasing Bellatrix from the curse. ”That is why I’m going to reward you. You are going to be next Headmaster Severus.”

“My Lord!”

“Draco thinks that you should have been Headmaster long time ago. We lost our spy in the Order but no matter, no matter.”

“My Lord,” He started dosing insecure reluctant tremor in his voice. ”Maybe there is a small chance that we still get information from the Order.”

“There is?”

“As you know my Lord, a few years back, old man forced me to spend some time and research with the werewolf.”

“Yes, most unfortunate event. You got your revenge, Severus.”

“I did my Lord. But Lupin, werewolf started considering me his friend. He is now mad at me, but I believe that maybe I can persuade him that I am still on their side. I cannot promise that he will believe me, but I can try.”

“Good thinking Severus, it is a small chance, but the chance nevertheless. How do you plan to proceed?”

“I will send him a letter, well-written letter. If there is a chance that he might consider me his friend, I will get a reply from him. He is not careful, he is overly trustful, he will betray their plans to me if he falls into the trap. We played a game of chess through the letters. Even if he only answers me with a chess move, there is a chance that he will continue to talk to me.”

“Very well, write him a letter.”

“Yes, my Lord.”

“Go now; write him as soon as you can. The sooner your letter reaches him, the more it will appear that you repent or your deed.”

“Yes, my Lord.” He bowed again and started to move towards the door.

“Severus!” called him Voldemort

“Yes, my Lord.”

“Be sure to show me his reply.”

“Yes, my lord.” He bowed slightly and left the room. Pacing fast toward his room and composing a letter in his head. He was playing a dangerous game, but at this point, he had nothing to lose.


	18. Letters (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have to give special thanks to my dear Jess, without her and her knowledge of chess last few chapters wouldn’t be possible. <3 
> 
> Letters follow the developments from the books/movies and they are canon compliant ;) 
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

**The most surprising and puzzling reply**

Large Eagle owl found him in the middle of the deserted road. The nasty bird nearly bit off his finger delivering the letter. He frowned recognizing the handwriting.

“  **My friend (?),**

**You told me I betrayed you. Maybe I did, it made me think - what is a betrayal? I am the man who has nothing to lose. If I do not have a heart, or a soul to betray what is left? Betrayal of the flesh perhaps?**

**We both know who . . . what am I, so how I can betray you then. Yet, I have no regrets, nothing to be ashamed off for doing a favour. I always knew where my loyalty lies, do you?**

**When we meet again, if you still think that we are on opposite sides, for your sake and mine, I truly hope that I indeed will be a dead man (they say in death all lies turn to truth).**

**Still yours faithful,**

**S.S.**

**P.S.: Pawn to D5  - you lose your knight.** ”

Lupin was confused beyond anything. He did not expect a reply to his letter little alone this. 

_ What is going on with him? Did he completely lose his mind? _

_ Friend sad. _ Sighed the voice in his head.

“He does not regret what he did. He didn’t even try to negate what he did. He admits the killing and not regretting it.”

_ Friend warn us. _

“He is not our friend.” Screamed Remus at the emptiness on the road.

_ My friend, our friend. Play game or I play. _ Growled the Wolf. 

Remus screamed again, a scream of frustration and despair. Why did the Wolf put so much trust into a … murder … was beyond him? Realizing that he is talking to himself and screaming in the middle of the road he sighed.

“I do look like a crazy person.”

_ Write a letter. _

“I will. I can’t understand why what do you still see in him.”

_ A friend care for us. Friend told me dark time come ‘take care of the boy’. We part wolf, wolf loyal to a pack. Friend loyal to a pack. Friend important. I protect. _

“He killed…” He sobbed.

_ Gray wise one, yes. Not sorry, not a friend. Spider. Spiders die, net stays. _

“I…”

_ Write the letter. _

“All right, I will write the stupid letter.” He growled, deciding that he talked to himself long enough, he continued to walk.

But he postponed his reply, postponed it for a very long time.

Next note arrived at the Burrow, almost at the same time as they did.

“T **rust me or not. For Fred - Vulnera Sanentur drag your wand over the wound.** ”

He looked at letters, waved his head and headed to the room was Fred was lying, bleeding from the wound. He could not afford to ponder on mixed feeling at that moment.

 

**Seven is a lucky number**

Lupin’s letter reached him in the Hogwarts, long after he deduced that Remus is angry enough not to answer.

“ **He trusts you, I don’t. One day you will pay. R.L.**

**P.S.: He won’t let me quit. Quinn to D7 - your bishop is mine now.**

**P.S.S.: Thank you** ”

He let the letter fall on top of the large pile of paperwork. Pinching the root of his nose. Dumbledore’s portrait looked at him sympathetically.

“Bad news my boy?”

“Remus.”

“In time, he will understand.”

“Understand what Albus? What is to understand? There is no nice way to say it - I am murder. There is nothing to understand.”

“A mercy killing.”

“It is still a murder.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What I must. Stupid mutt, he misunderstood. He wrote about the Wolf.” He shook his head, feeling prickling in his eyes. ”I will show him the letter, tell him that werewolf is gone feral and of no use.”

“You are going to lose.”

“That was a long-shot from the beginning. What do you suggest? To tell him about new potion?”

“You are annoyed, my boy.”

“I am tired Albus, tired of hatred, tired of … life.”

“Nonsense my boy, when all this is over your life will start.”

“Sometimes, old man, you are a blind as a bat. I have to go and report.” With heavy footsteps, he walked to the door. ”Albus, keep me informed.”

The portrait nodded and he left the room, it was time for him to go in front of the Dark Lord and bring him bad news.

 

**The black feather**

Months passed, Lupin was lost. Harry brushed him off, Dora and the baby were safe, safe because he was away from them. Sitting far away from the fire, far away from the group of rough werewolves, he looked at the night sky. Dark shade swooped over him, leaving a letter and black feather behind. He picked up the feather, recognizing it.

“Henry” He mussed under the breath, opening the letter with trembling hands looked at the short note. ”Greasy git.”

“  **I always knew that you are an idiot Lupin, now I know how much of an idiot you are. Coward.** ”

He looked at the note for a long time, risen and walked towards the fire.  _ Time to go home, _ purred the voice in his head.

 

Time passed again. The night before the battle he was sitting in the kitchen, Teddy was safe with Andromeda, he and Dora were talking when he heard tapping on the window. One of the Hogwarts owls was standing on the lid holding a letter. He fed her a treat, owl waited patiently.

“You are waiting for a reply?”

“Whoooooooo.” Hooted the bird softly.

“All right, all right, give me a second.”

“ **Knight to D7 - I take your queen. S.S.** ”

His eyes widened and hand began to shake.

“What is it, Remy?”

“He is sacrificing a remaining black knight. He is sacrificing himself.” Tears started to sting in the corner of his eyes.

“Who is sacrificing himself? What are you talking about? Harry?”

“No Dora, not Harry. Severus.”

“That traitor!”

“I am not so sure anymore. Give me time to answer him and I will explain it to you everything. Dora…”

“Yes?”

“We are going to win.” 

He took a parchment and scribbled a note with shaking a hand, aware of his wife’s eyes burning a hole in his back, looking at him like he lost his mind. He gave a note to the owl.

 

**The last letter**

The owl returned with a message. His left hand burned, the school was in chaos but he waited for that reply. He took the note opening it with anticipation.

“ **My friend,**

**We had a deal, I am the one to judge you, remember? You won’t deny me of that, stay safe so I can face you.**

**Just…stay safe.**

**R.L.**

**P.S.: Knight on E6** ”

He looked at the letter with awe. Fold it and placed with other letters, tying all of them with ribbon. He placed them in the strong metal cabinet next to the two Muggle notebooks. He closes the cabinet and wards it. 

Severus walked to the chess board and moved the piece knocking the remaining black knight down. He took the figurine and pocketed it.

“Checkmate” He whispered.

The alarm was echoing through the school, it was time for chaos to break loose.


	19. EPILOG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know, again short time between posts, but I just received very annoying news from my work and needed to de-stress myself. At any rate, this is the last chapter. and I thank you all for reading, commenting and following the story.
> 
> I do have a question for you all so be sure to check the Author's Note at the end of the chapter ;) 
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

A year passed since the Battle of Hogwarts, the school was rebuilt and a new generation was about to arrive in a matter of days. Minerva paced in her office.

“You will burn a hole in that rug Minerva, I was very fond of it.” Chuckled Albus.

“We repaired all quarters, all but one. No one managed to breach through the wards, Albus.”

“Did you try password?”

“We tried all possible passwords we could think of.”

“Try with ‘loyalty’“

“We did.”

“Then I suggest you try ‘friendship’ or ‘Lupin’.”

“Lupin? Why would he have used Remus’s name as a password?”

“Just give it a try Minerva, trust me.”

She looked at Albus with annoyance but nodded and rushed out of the office. Half an hour later, she returned carrying two notebooks and bunch of letters.

“How did you know?”

“What are you planning to do?” Asked her Albus avoiding an answer.

“What I always planned to do, keep his quarters as they are. A monument to his bravery.”

“Do you hear that my boy?” Albus turned to Snape's portrait, but his portrait remained motionless and quiet as always. ”He is stubborn.”

“It is entirely your fault, you should have told us what you planned.”

“I did what I had to do, and he understood that.”

“That is a matter of opinion.” She huffed and opened the first letter. By the time, she finished all the letters Minerva was sobbing. ”Oh, Albus!”

“What is it in those notebooks?” asked Albus almost absentmindedly

She looked at the portrait, reading the letters she forgot about the notebooks. Taking a first one, she opened it.

**Application of improved Wolfsbane potion**

**Dedicated to**

**Remus Lupin**

**by**

**Severus Snape**

**(Potion Master at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry, member of Order of Phoenix, known criminal and ex-Death Eater)**

**In hope that this research will see the light of the day and help all who suffer from the dark curse. Helped them in a similar way that helped my dear friend and colleague Remus Lupin who selflessly participated in this research.**

She read both books, sniffling and sobbing, whipping tears.

“Did you know about this Albus?”

“I did.”

“And you did not find it important enough to mention it to anyone?”

“No, I did not. What are you planning to do?”

“What should have been done a year ago, I am going to publish this under his name. That is the least I could do.” She picked up the books and the letters.

“What are you going to do with the letters?”

“Give them to Andromeda, for Teddy. He deserves to know that his father had such a loyal and dedicated friend.” Albus nodded approvingly. 

Passing by Snape’ portrait she paused ”Uhhhhhhh you.” fussed Minerva at the portrait and left the room.

“You see my boy, everything is as it supposed to be.” smiled Albus. 

But Snape’s portrait stayed motionless. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have a question for all you who read this… Many of my friends, some of the readers too, asked me to re-write this story as a smut. My question is...would you be interested in something like this?
> 
> Your opinion on the matter is greatly appreciated and will decide on whether I embark on that journey or not. 
> 
> Thank you ^_^


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